• 06 Mar 2009 at 2:22 PM

The Dealbreaker Chronicle Of Vending Machine Challenges: Q1 2009 Update

By

Date: May 29, 2008
Aspirant: Tim “T-Bone”
Firm: FTN
Type: Traditional Vending Machine Challenge
Time: 8 Hours
Result: Failure – 27 of 35 items consumed.
Excuse: None offered.


Date: August 22, 2008
Aspirant: Unknown
Firm: Unknown
Type: Traditional Vending Machine Challenge
Time: 3 hours 56 minutes
Result: Failure
Excuse: Borderline Sodium-Induced Seizure
Date: November 13, 2008
Aspirant: Unknown
Firm: Unknown
Type: Traditional Vending Machine Challenge
Time: Unknown
Result: Failure – 24 of 36 items consumed.
Excuse: “The apple pie was just too much.”
Date: March 6, 2009
Aspirant: Unknown
Firm: Wachovia
Type: Cat Food (Wet) 3x Cans
Time: 30 Minutes
Result: Victory! (Completed in allotted time without vomiting).
Victory Enabled By: The use of hot sauce.
Earlier:
The Dealbreaker Chronicle of Vending Machine Challenges
Wachovia Mans Up, We Throw Up

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Comments (21)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 2:31 PM

    Johnny Drama says, “VICTORY!”

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    can’t anyone finish a vending machine challenge? If a guy can get through cat food, eating 30 something snack size items has to be possible

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 2:46 PM

    Vending machine challenge is way more difficult than it looks…I tried it way back for $600, and almost made it through. What really kills you is the gum — after getting though every other row, chewing and swallow all that gum makes you want to throw up…
    –
    Laid off? See what everyone else is up to and figure out how to spend your free time at http://www.freeagentnet.com

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 2:48 PM

    EP, you really need to add one last line.
    Current employment status: employed/shit-canned

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    That is fucking disgusting. Was his job on the line or something?

  6. 6
    Posted by BSD | March 6, 2009 at 2:49 PM

    @3 apt point, but then why is that nobody’s excuse?

  7. 7
    Posted by Anal_yst | March 6, 2009 at 2:54 PM

    Wait wasn’t there that BAC kid that made some sorta pathetic attempt a few months ago, can’t remember the particular foodstuff in question though

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 2:55 PM

    I just heard from someone at Wellscovia, that the cat food was less gross than the analyst who ate a 5 Gallon bucket of coleslaw.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 2:55 PM

    Is getting high considered cheating?

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    This is a video of a runner on the CBOE floor a few years ago who for $700 drank a whole bottle of Still Steamin’ Buck Semen. Got paid an extra $100 to do it on his knees.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlSFYDWGris

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    While one must admire courage, just so you know, cat food isn’t just ground-up people food rejects. It’s entirely possible to injure yourself eating too much protein too fast. For future reference, dog food is much safer – it’s mostly meat-flavored Fritos.

  12. 12
    Posted by BBankBS | March 6, 2009 at 3:04 PM

    I would like to make this submission,
    Please include it, we are very proud of our guy:
    Date: February 10, 2009
    Aspirant: Jordan “The Mouth”
    Firm: Barclay’s
    Type: Traditional Vending Machine Challenge
    Time: 1.75 Hours
    Result: Failure – 30 of 35 items NOT consumed.
    Excuse: Tummy Ache.

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    today they switched the monitors and on our equities floor from cnbc to bloomberg.

  14. 14
    Posted by Tapecracker | March 6, 2009 at 3:25 PM

    Tough to beat our old friend Pickens at UBS two years ago… five pound wheel of romano cheese (with the wax rind I might add) in 30 minutes.
    Stud walked away with about $1,600 for his efforts.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 3:52 PM

    not to mention an impacted colon.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    “Tough to beat our old friend Pickens at UBS two years ago… five pound wheel of romano cheese (with the wax rind I might add) in 30 minutes.
    Stud walked away with about $1,600 for his efforts.”
    Bullshit.

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 4:33 PM

    Hey 16, why don’t you call him yourself?
    It’s true!
    http://www.linkedin.com/pub/4/12b/9b3

  18. 18
    Posted by HAM05 | March 6, 2009 at 4:35 PM

    @14 throwing the challenge flag out on that one

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 7:18 PM

    what are the prereqs to enter this bullshit? i know some dudes in our IT dept could do this shit whilst chugging a 4 pack of sugar free red bull.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | March 6, 2009 at 10:28 PM

    The 3 way hybrid challenge, paying homage to all the great food eating challenges of our time: 1/3 gallon of whole milk, 17 hard boiled eggs, and 1/3 of the contents of a vending machine (selected by randomly drawing column numbers and using a coin flip to determine the top or bottom portion of the additional column to achive 1/3 of the vending machine, and remember to round up), get in all down in an hour. Dreamed this up back in college, it’s not pretty

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | August 3, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    “Date: February 10, 2009
    Aspirant: Jordan “The Mouth”
    Firm: Barclay’s
    Type: Traditional Vending Machine Challenge
    Time: 1.75 Hours
    Result: Failure – 30 of 35 items NOT consumed.
    Excuse: Tummy Ache.
    ”
    Seriously? He only ate five items in 1:45?

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