• 30 Mar 2009 at 9:40 AM

Time’s 2009 List Of Most Influentials Is Fluid

By

Picture 1003.pngBut it may include a business news reporter best known for whaling mercilessly on the Boflex moments before going on air in order to give his scoops that added air of intensity. That’s right, kemo sabes, there’s a possibility that Charlie Gasparino will be named one of the 100 most influential people of the year, if he plays his cards right (i.e. successfully intimidates you into voting for him via threats of physical harm). Take a moment to let that sink in. Other finalists, who you can endorse this morning in a concerted effort to make the list that much more irrelevant (but way more hilarious!) include: Jim Cramer, Prince Alwaleed bin Talal and Ken Lewis. How KL’s unofficial number 2 at Bank of Amerillwide, Angelo Mozilo, got snubbed, we have no idea. We’re also failing to wrap our minds around Vikram Pandit’s name not being thrown in the hopper, though many of you will be pleased to see his bondage and leather loving nemesis, Meredith Whitney, made the cut, as did Ponzi-boy Madoff. And in what appears to be a (fleeting) moment of lucidity by those compiling the noms, Jamie Dimon, Ben Bernanke and Lloyd Blankfein were tossed in, just for shits. No Paulsons, Chanoses, or Einhornies, though. Let’s not go crazy.
The 2009 TIME 100 Finalists [Time]

Sign up for the Dealbreaker newsletter

Subscribe to our free daily email and get breaking news, financial headlines, commentary, and analysis from Dealbreaker.

— Advertisement —

Comments (29)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 9:46 AM

    What? No Count Vikula?

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    No Muffy Benson-Perella?

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 9:48 AM

    T-Pain

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 9:52 AM

    This is the dumbest list ever…it’s as if they took all the 2nd Grade current event clippings from around the country, put it all in a giant hat and picked randomly.

  5. 5
    Posted by american bandersnatch | March 30, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    @4 – Concur. That’s the reason I stopped reading Time long ago. It’s pretty much indistinguishable from People at this point.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    What about Wideclops?

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    http://www.nypost.com/seven/03292009/news/regionalnews/axed_gals_take_pole_positions_161908.htm
    Morgan Stanley analysts are in demand.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    @7, that little whore thinks the strip club is better run than a (former) bulge bracket?
    Wait a couple months until she’s addicted to coke and getting slapped around. Then you’ll have the vultures move in on her toxic assets for 10 cents on the dollar.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:04 AM

    8 Maybe, but don’t you know any traders that are addicted to coke? I do – def an issue with that crowd.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    5 They had to change cause no one cares about news that’s a week old, which is essentially what the old Time delivered. In fact, people now don’t even read the AM newspaper, cause its 6 hours stale.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    wail on
    verb
    (slang) To strike an opponent heavily and repeatedly in a fight.
    (slang) To beat heavily on anything.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:27 AM

    Steve Leisman gives Gasparino all his 411… or so I heard.

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    can we please create dealbreaker’s top 20 least influential people, drawn directly from that 100 list

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    I saw this first on http://moneyneversleepsblog.blogspot.com over the weekend. Good luck to Chaz…

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:32 AM

    13 is right. EP and Bess should make their own top 20

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    That is the dumbest list I have seen today.

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    15 except that bess provides the humor to offset EP, the straight man. Put simply, EP props some up and tears some down, but Bess tears em all down. Doubt they could agree on a list.

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    I’m backing Rush. Like Leonidas at Thermopylae he slowed the Obama advance when the fate of our country balanced on the razor’s edge. Balls of steel.

  19. 19
    Posted by Anal_yst | March 30, 2009 at 10:46 AM

    Wait, Time Magazine still exists? I don’t even see it sitting in the reception room @ the Dr’s office anymore. I can’t imagine that sucker’s even breaking even, let alone turning a profit.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:50 AM

    @7 that story seems more like a cleaned up press release for a planned book launch

  21. 21
    Posted by Seaman Bodine II | March 30, 2009 at 10:55 AM

    Clearly, it’s Mickey Rourke.

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    Anal_yst @19 are u saying pretty soon it will be * Warner Cable (ticker WC)?

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    I am the CEO of Time Magazine
    What is journalism?

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    @18
    Yup, that’s how I picture Rush too. Wearing a skirt and wrestling with young boys.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    25 On the way to the plane on the US Air shuttle at LGA, theres a rack of free magazines. What shocks you when you grab em – Fortune, Bus Week, Forbes, Time, all of em – is how thin they are. 50 pages tops. The ads are basically gone.

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | March 30, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    @7 I am going to get blackout drunk and harass the fuck out of that stripper.

  27. 27
    Posted by Investorcluzo | March 30, 2009 at 1:20 PM

    M.I.A.? seriously? given that I don’t go to the doctor and my dentist is a golf fanatic, I can’t say I’ve actually seen TIME anywhere other than a newstand. do people actually buy that POS? with this year’s list, TIME has officially jumped the shark…

  28. 28
    Posted by guest | April 13, 2009 at 9:07 PM

    I noticed that the #2 Rank on the 2009 list, directly under “moot” is from Malaysia and is facing sodomy charges. Way to go, Time!

  29. 29
    Posted by buy oem software | May 3, 2012 at 8:51 AM

    oeT9Sx Wow, great article. Great.

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.

   or