We started watching the latest episode of “The Safecracker” and intended to begin live blogging it, but we were transfixed immediately by the undulating waves on his Crackness’ forehead. Branded there like a quantum interference pattern, emanating from the twin slits of two Pink Floydesque eyebrows, as the single photons of bailout are at once reducing the cost of home ownership, and reflating asset prices in his brain. Excuse us for a few minutes while we gaze upon the physical paradox of the forehead wrinkles in time.
Maxine Waters has jarred us out of our contemplation of the great cosmic order with her particularly insane brand of chaos theory.
Waters: Mr. Geithner, your CEO is from Goldman Sachs?
The Safecracker: My CEO?
We wonder, who is the CEO of the Treasury? Who is the boss of you, Your Crackness?
Waters: The talk is, that this small group of decision makers at the center of it is Goldman Sachs because people are thinking or believing that Goldman Sachs, because of the connections, is having a lot to do with the decisions are being made. (phew) We believe that Goldman Sachs will again be one of those that will be the beneficiary.
The Safecracker: I think it is deeply unfair to suggest that Goldman Sachs is a den of poisonous, bloodsucking vipers.
Carolyn Maloney: I’m doing a study on failure. You know, I have a PhD in fail. Yes it was from the University of Phoenix, but I think we all know they are the foremost authority on fail. Can you give me the government analysis that determined that Lehman should fail? The death warrant. You know? The fail warrant?
Beard: What? Uh, sure. I’ll look.
Bachmann: Mr. Chair, can I have an answer on my inane and misguided question?
His Frankness: No, you can go pound salt.
Jenkins: How much more money is AIG going to need?
Dudley: We have no fucking clue.
Castle: So Dodd is fucked on this bonus language. How about you? Are your fingerprints on that?
The Safecracker: I wore a tie today.
Ackerman: Those AIG traitors should have returned twice their bonuses. Greed is the problem. We need to legislate away greed. Greed plus innovation is very dangerous. Let’s kill them both. My white carnation is the new yellow bracelet. It stands against greed. And intelligence. I couldn’t figure out how to put it into my button hole so I just stapled it onto my suit.
Royce: I lost my jacket in the morning Congressional poker game.
Sherman: I cannot believe we are letting this populist uproar to fade. How are we going to get this back roaring? Geithner, you. How about you publish the current and future salary info on all the TARP recipients? Are you going to give us the chart? Or are you going to hide the ball?
The Safecracker: I am not going to hide the ball
Sherman: So are you going to give us the chart?
The Safecracker: I’ll think about it.
Sherman: So you’re not?
The Safecracker: I said I would think about it.
Sherman: What the hell is Cash-Carry (your quarterback) still doing running the compensation standards? When are we going to get regs to prevent anyone anywhere from making a million dollars ever?
Lucas: So, investors are going to make millions on this bailout?
The Safecracker: The taxpayer too.
Lucas (puzzled look): Hmmmph.
Meeks: Should we regulate credit default swaps?
The Safecracker: Let me uncork my standard, bottled speech on central clearinghouses.
Meeks: Are Wall Street jobs going to head to London now that we’ve threatened these employees with dismemberment and death?
The Safecracker: Uh… maybe.
Paul: We didn’t have capitalism. We had the Federal Reserve messing up the entire system. (Lather, rinse, repeat. x4). Didn’t we have too much government here? Who’s to blame. Market, or crony capitalism?
Beard: I don’t blame capitalism. Panics are a reality.
Moore: The Inspector General of TARP believes that taxpayer exposure is near $3 trillion. What the hell?
The Safecracker: That figure is the total loan figure. You’d have to assume a total loss for that to be realized. And that is never… going… to… ever… happen… I’m… totally… serious.
Lynch: Let’s sue AIG for these bonuses. Isn’t this a fraudulent conveyance?
The Safecracker: We are looking very carefully at all legal avenues to go back and see if we can get these back. I can’t tell you today that we’ve found a way to do it. But we are on it.
Beard: We’ll check. I hope we can.
Dudley: We’ll try.
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Maxine Waters to Timmy: “Did your CEO work at Goldman Sachs?”
I don’t even know what to say anymore.
Maxine is on now. We’re gonna be OK.
Maixne Waters is back……..
yada dee yada dah
yada dee yada dah
more abstract thinking from maxine
Maxine Waters is comic relief. And indicative of the stupidity of congress.
ANd the market rallies everytime there is government intervention – go figure.
Aww, EP has a crush!
Maxine Waters: Did Goldman Sachs make the decision to let Lehman fail ?
Geithner: Bitch, no. Simply no.
Seriously….Maxine Waters…..
lol.
cats.
If you don’t want Maxine in your business, don’t damage the financial structure of the Free World with ignorant financial risk management.
Maxine Waters: “Is J00z at goldman sachs is takin’ our shit again?”
How is that woman allowed to speak in public?
How did she get elected…? WTF
oh maxine, you disappointed me today! you had the floor and you blew it. good effort in trying to plug your community banks, but timmy g put the smack down.
Bitches.
Maxine Waters should be Treasury secretary, instead of this namby pamby Geithner kid. We’ll see how the banks are to run to the taxpayer for money when they have to deal with the Maxine.
Someone get that bitch a Sybian!
maxine kills it everyday
ya’ll honkies is just haterzzzz
Maxine is seriously the dumbest person on earth. It frightens me deeply.
Oh and 9 she is in everyones business.
i love her censure without rebuttal techniques. makes her look she always wins the argument.
Maxine Waters: *Tag*, Maloney you are in.
Rep Maloney: There was no systemic risk with this one specific company.
timmay looks more like a nipple tweaker than a safe crack in that top pic.
and seriously, maxine waters, wtf. makes me feel so smart. but die a little inside.
blarney is really holding tight to this 5 minute time limit. it’s only leaving about 30 seconds for timmy and bernie to answer questions after listening to 4 min and 30 secs of grandstanding. I’m not sure this is very productive. oh wait, this is congress…
Michelle B. of MN is on the mic. Hot and a lunatic, she would have been perfect for my younger days.
Michelle Bachman !!! Por tu vida!!!
I think she should spank someone soon.
Apparently this has become a 10 trillion, no wait a 14 googleplex dollar issue.
Michelle Bachman + glasses = HOT HOT HOT!
I’m not sure whether I love 9 or 22′s comment more.
whoa– seems like codePink operatives sitting on both sides of the table. whenever the ladies in the house hear an answer they don’t like an immediate bitch slap comes out. “you are exhausting my time, mr. secretary.”
Tony Montana’s mom will straighten this mess, or at least let Tony who to kill.
que? que?!?!
Tony Montana’s mom will straighten this mess, or at least let Tony know
who to kill.
english please nydia
But do Europeans know what a shower is?
I have ‘tard fatigue. I am tired of the ‘tard constituents not understanding basic contract law.
what’s with all the female questioning? it’s like watching a speed dating session with timmy and ben.
I think I had an acid flashback from ep’s first paragraph.
does congress get together and rehearse this continuous display of stupidity beforehand or is it free form?
I assume that its only a matter of time before Barak called up Mitt to get him to solve the current economic crisis. I also assume that the conversation will be near identical to that of Jeff Spicoli and Jeffereson’s little brother after he crashes his car:
Obama: My Country’s gonna kill us! Its gonna kill us! It’s gonna kill you and it’s gonna kill me, it’s gonna kill us!
Romney: Hey man, just be glad I had fast reflexes!
Obama: My Countrys gonna shit!
Romney: Make up your mind, dude, is it gonna shit or is he gonna kill us?
Obama: First it’s gonna shit, then it’s gonna kill us!
Romney: Relax, all right? My old man is the American Motors chairman, he’s got this ultimate set of tools. I can fix it.
Obama: You can’t fix this country!
Romney: I can fix it
There are days when I think it would have been better if Flight 93 had made it to the Capitol
@15 WINNER
@38 and Maxine was flying commercial that day?
Guns don’t kill people, CDS kill people.
-TC
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFvnL3npQgY
We are now all more stupid after having heard maxine water’s break
“But I also know that we need not choose between a chaotic and unforgiving capitalism and an oppressive government-run economy. That is a false choice that will not serve our people or any people. This G-20 meeting provides a forum for a new kind of global economic cooperation.” http://tinyurl.com/cj6emt
http://tinyurl.com/easlk
kabuki theatre? try bozo the capitol clown!
TGFD says, Wall Street’s Credit Default Swaps have become the bane of Main Street.
Geithner couldn’t even give a straight yes or no answer to Rep. Baucus (sp) when Geithner was asked if AIG paid “100 cents on the dollar” of TARP money to GS and to the two foreign banks. Baucus (sp) tried 3 times and got evasive bullshit from Geithner each time.
The CodePink chicks need to take action on this one.
The Guy from Delaware
Steve “I pretend to be a senior economics editor at CNBC” Liesman asks another rhetorical question. What’s new.
@ 42 thanks for posting the link, I look forward to pissing on LBJ’s grave on a future trip to Texas
5 Wrote- “Maxine Waters is comic relief. And indicative of the stupidity of congress.”
Maxine and all of congress are a product of the stupid people who elected them, the one standard deviationers. Maybe some of two.
Our messiah said “we as a people will get there.” Translation: We wandered too far from Stupidville and know we’re lost in Dumbfuckville.
What makes America so great again? Our number one health care system? Our education system? Our a stable economy that allows people to create a long term career and not just another fucking job.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0OQXI8lvqY
TGFD- Are we really putting the hopes and dreams of Americans in the hands of old cunts that show up in pink baseball jackets?
seriously is it that bad? I am not watching.
“Wall St. is in New York”
I’m sorry, but Maxine Waters has to be the dumbest bitch on the planet…Oh, wait…she’s second only to those who elected her.
@ 11 – Ever watched some video footage of the “No justice, no peace!” LA riots in ’92? Black business owners in South Central put up “Black Owned” signs in front of their hamburger joints, and the looters still burned them down.
Anyone with an education or a way out realizes they can’t make much of an impact down there and those people leave as soon as they can. The rest stay and vote for Maxine.
@48. It’s called the military.
48 – I’m laughing my ass off @ that vid.
48, you make the point i do when i refute that we just started a new bull market. all (genuine, sustainable) bull markets are spurred by some sort of societal or technological change, not just credit fueled inflation of asset bubbles. we simply dont have anything game-changing in front of us. a technological greening of energy is the logical next step but the savior’s energy policy is so misguided it will be prohibitive.
Ron Paul makes entirely too much sense to be in congress.
@46 – I find him amusing in a way that he most certainly dosent intend. By “senior economist” I think he means “senior fed schill”. His next independent thought will be the first
Hmmm so Obam’s administartion wants to increase its powers of unilateral decision making in a time of crises?
This sounds familiar, yes I feel i have heard this some place before. So Capt Omerica is using the Bush play book now?
I thought he ran on “change”, I guess its easy to say one thing while running for office its another to face reality when you are in the office.
Now who is the fuckin Monday Mornin QB? Obama is fucking liar, you idiots who voted for him…this is your fault!
@59 – The current credit crisis is the fault of the O voters??! Gosh, all of this happened post-January 20th?! Wow! Now who is suffering from revisionism?!
Mr. Chairman, the rules are we get to talk and you don’t.
Says it all, no?
Poorly posed question. Best Ben ever!!!
Bernanke: “because it’s a poorly phrased question” … hahaha
Ben Bernanke is god. He’s got these dumb hearings down to a t.
Oh My, What happened to the nice easy going hearings they were having before? Everyone seems agitated this morning/early afternoon and no one seems to want to answer any direct questions directly.
This is Ben Bernanke on my Blackberry…go fuck yourselves Representatives, oh Tim wanted me to tell you all you suck too!
Capuano knows he doesn’t have any tax payers in his district, right?
Guest@#49…
Maybe you’d like TGFD to show up down there?
I do have a hot-pink polo shirt that goes well with my navy wool blazer w/gold buttons, khakis w/cuffs, d-ring belt, and the Docksiders w/no socks.
My tan’s a little weak, but I think a show of solidarity with the CodePink chicks by someone of TGFD’s stature would go a long way in enhancing their credibility.
I know the chicks will like TGFD’s hair. They always do.
The Guy from Delaware
Taxes due in a couple of weeks. Don’t forget to fill out the brand new form – Schedule F U Up. In the past we didn’t have much of a say on which country we wanted to bomb but now we get to decided. Fuck Yeah! I’m currently undecided, should I go with D or F, North Korea or Iran? Don’t get me wrong, Afghan is cool and “all that” but their too poor to afford the live 24/7 coverage that I demand. Goddammit I want to to get my war on all day every day with a 40oz in one hand and my remote control in the other. I think I might go with Iran, they have BBC trained journalists running Aljazeera.
How come every time someone gets really angry in asking their question Uncle Barney taps the gavel and they get marginalized and their questions don’t get answered?
Do these people have a clue that they are embarrassing themselves?
owwwieeeee…my head hurts listening to this!!!! how stupid can these reps be?? hearing that he actually thinks IRA stands for “insured retirement account” would make my day tho.
@67 none appear to be working right now! Hopefully, they had an insured investment products by AIG. If his constituents did he wouldn’t be bitchin’ so much!
@70…because their questions embarrass our entire country and don’t deserve an answer. Barney, between drooling on cock and being poorly dressed, at least recognizes when they have reached the apex of stupidity.
Who are “the three trustees” that they keep referring to?
Stephen Lynch from MA looks like he has been living it up at the local pub….
“I couldn’t figure out how to put it into my button hole so I just stapled it onto my suit.”
Hah! So true.
I bet we could better questions for this “hearing” if they came from youtubers instead of the hucksters on the hill.
@75 it is obvious….Curly, Larry, and Moe. Who els would it be, really?
When are they going to ask about some of the suggestions on TGFD’s 8-point “Financial Resurrection Plan”?
My 8 points are all good.
The Guy from Delaware
Maxine has her fans. Many regular people feel she is speaking for them.
@71- What are you talking about? 68 to 75 percent of the country thinks their doing a great job. Why else would people elect them into office?
@55- Exactly. Let’s get back to the way things were…! An economy on 1,200 mg of testosterone cypionate and 200 mg of oxymetholone. Banks need to start lending again. Lend! Lend! Lend! you dirty bastards I want to buy some spinning forties and 8oz of New York City Diesel. White Widow Max was too much.
For a brief moment CNBC had under “business headlines” “Disney downgraded by Doldman Sachs”.
@82 68 to 75 percent of the country think that their=they are
So are we going to fight the french for the mansion in France owned by made off?
84 – zing! my biggest pet peeve.
@84 & @86 – 1/2 the people on db think loose = lose…
Those CODEPINK broads are some fugly ass bitches. Berkeley lezbos are the worst.
81 – And may regular people are idiots.
oh dear oh dear. cnbc seems not to reach california. dutch bank? associate general?
81 – And may regular people are idiots.
@87…that one irks and baffles me to no end. I would put it at 85% of the population at large.
@81…yes, and that’s what we’re afraid of…that she really is speaking for them. Ipso facto, “the people” are retarded.
@84- And that’s why I voted. Proud to be a 1 STD’r. Join me 84, come to the dark side, the too of us can rule, they’re will be no stopping us.
doesn’t that congressman have any pages to at least type out the letters “A I G” on an index card?
Guest@#85…
Fighting the french over Madoff’s mansion won’t do any good. After all, France has some Bernie/Ruth victims too.
I doubt if Uncle Sam would give any of the relatively meager proceeds to France anyway.
The Guy from Delaware
Did Uncle Barney have to go to the bathroom. Have you ever seen a hearing so abruptly ended? While someone was in mid sentence? Even CNBC was caught off guard by this? WTF?
@ 96 — he didn’t want to miss the weekly 1:15PM congressional page circle jerk. On alternating Tuesdays Barney gets to be the “bulls-eye”
@96 I think he saw a puddy cat…
58 He gets TARP money to keep up the “good” work.
100!
100!
@100 You blew it dumbass.
@ 97 – winner!
Hey, people! Leave them chicks alone.
Pink Floyd
“WASHINGTON (AP) – President Barack Obama says he hopes “it doesn’t take too long” to convince Congress to approve new authority to oversee financial firms.
The administration is pushing the idea of an overarching regulator, such as the Federal Reserve, to have the ability to take over nonbank financial entities whose failure could topple the entire financial system.
Obama spoke to reporters about the matter in the Oval Office Tuesday after meeting with visiting Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.”
http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D974GU800&show_article=1