So, you know how everyone’s steaming mad over AIG bailouts and bonuses and breasts (little known fact: a certain AIG-FP exec’s wife got her new and improved rack on the company dime. True story). You know what might get the masses even more enraged? If we dug up some guy with an admittedly sad story and exploited him in the name of justice! Like John Woodson, a “blind amputee [who's] had to fight AIG for a new plastic leg [and] wheel chair.” But this is just the beginning. Did AIG shoot your three-legged puppy (stricken with leukemia at the time)? Did it send over a bunch of employees to gang-bang your Holocaust-surviving grandmother? Let us know.
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
I like boobies.
I, for one, am sick of seeing taxpayer funds going to prop up failed institutions like John Woodson.
AIG molested my collie!
@2
You almost owed me lunch
*wipes off monitor*
>>>Did AIG shoot your three-legged puppy (stricken with leukemia at the time)?
Eventually. But first five or six of them had sex with him on the front lawn.
I once fought a guy for HIS new plastic leg and wheelchair. His name was Potato Salad if if i recall.
sucks dude
Me: where’s your buccaneers?
Him: along me buckin’ head!
Bess you have a very sick mind.
Didn’t David Hasselhoff play this guy in a movie?
Aw, hell. I thought that was a preview for the new Nick Fury movie.
-BeckyComicBookFan
He must be busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest
#2 is the new killing it.
John Woodson walks into a bar, orders a drink. The bartender eyes John suspiciously, wondering aloud, “John? Why the fuck do you have a steering wheel attached to your pants?” John finishes his whiskey and mutters, “I don’t know, but it’s driving me nuts!”
-alright, enough.
John prefers his roast beef sandwiches from ARRRRGGGGHHHHHbys.
-pathetic
When vacationing, John Woodson views flying/using rails cautiously. He prefers to drive his ARRRRRGGGGHHHH-V.
-can’t stop
What do you say to John Woodson if you stop to pick him up while he’s hitchhiking?
Hop in.
Clown@#2…
You are an asshole. Did you even watch the 2-minute video?
WTF did that guy ever do to you? Smug bastard.
From the article:
“Woodson is covered by AIG under a government-mandated program that provides medical and disability benefits for employees working for U.S. contractors in Iraq and Afghanistan. AIG covers about 90 percent of the claims for overseas workers.”
Hey assface, do you want to trade places with Woodson? You f’n retard.
The Guy from Delaware
Arghhh… two glass eye – POINK – POINK
Psych! We’re not paying you. We were pulling your leg all this time.
-AIG
AIG is insuring him through a ‘government-mandated’ program? Obviously the other 2 legs he requested were diverted to Goldman Sachs then, and is all part of a much larger conspiracy that has been going on for years.
-Martin Armstrong
His ex-fiance is fond of telling people, “I was engaged to a man with a prosthetic leg…but I broke it off.”
Bess, that was the funniest thing I’ve read in ages.
To all you turds on DB who are making fun of Woodson and of his plight, TGFD says this…
The attitudes you’re exhibiting today just typify what it is about Wall Street that America hates so f’n much.
There’s no sarcasm in your posts. It’s just immature, adolescent, idiotic, piss-poor ignorance that you display.
May you all lose you f’n jobs soon; those of you who still have them, that is.
The Guy from Delaware
Hey TGFD! c’mon…how do you honestly feel…
jesus, TGFD, reread the post and buy a clue. people are making fun of ABC News, not the guy.
@25 lighten up, Francis.
You told me you would NOT bring up my grandmother!
If John Woodson went into finance what desk would he work on?
the ARRRRGGGGHHHHHbitrage desk
Guest@#27…
Perhaps you are right.
TGFD must have misunderstood 2,6,8,10,12,14,15,17,18,20,23,& 24.
All those posts were clearly “making fun of ABC News, not the guy.”
The Guy from Delaware
TGFD what about 30? is that one ok?
Is that Snake Plisken?
TGFD
Chill the f*ck out bro. Its astoundingly obvious being blind and crippled sucks serious a$$, thus, no one talks about it here.
Its not that we aren’t sympathetic to a person in such a situation, its just it isn’t worth stating the obvious.
Humor – and this is relatively well researched – is one of the oldest forms of human coping, so while to you it may seem that we’re making immature jokes at the poor guy’s expense, perhaps you should view it through a different lens.
TGFD,
If carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up.
-Mitch HedGEberg
TGFD for president.
Who remembers Terri Schiavo. Well, I always knew I’d be going to hell for finding her blog entries frickin hilarious, especially the ones befor April 07,2005 :
http://74.125.95.132/search?q=cache:KI4Wv1tX6pIJ:durrrrr.blogspot.com/+terri+schiavo+blog&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us&client=firefox-a
John Woodson was just upgraded by S&P to AAARRRRG
John Woodson was just upgraded by S&P to AAARRRRG
Alright enough of this! If one more “guest” makes fun of John I am going to tarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr and feather you
Guest@#32…
#30 was written after TGFD’s #25, but #30 would also qualify.
Anal_Yst@#34…
TGFD didn’t understand your #4, so I didn’t include it on my list.
Also, since I’m from Delaware, TGFD obviously can’t appreciate the sophisticated humor that runs through Wall Street. I’ve often said that TGFD is among the “Less than Brightest”.
I do think ABC (infested with clowns, BTW) is doing a public service by airing Woodson’s story.
After all, America should know that it was more important for AIG to pay Goldman $12 Billion for CDSs than it was for them to pay their obligations to people like Woodson.
The Guy from Delaware
Heres a novel idea TGFD…GFYS
If you dont understand the humor shut your face and move along
Lowly, 16 here
…Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!
@ TGFD
You and ABC are comparing apples to an orange grove.
The division that handles this guy’s claims has about as much in common with AIG-FP as I do with you. Sure we read the same website, but that’s about it. Similarly, sure, the health insurance (or whatever) division that handles this guy’s issues may be under the same parent company, but that’s basically where the link to AIG-FP ends.
Also, I never claimed sophisticated humor, don’t project your image of people in Finance into the words of others.
TGFD – do you like fishsticks?
tgfd should be banned asap
TGFD is obviously one of those Steven Glansburg types that eats lunch alone every day because no one can stand him
Guest@#42…
TGFD has always made it a point to not make fun of people with physical disabilities. I see no humor in that.
Perhaps that is why TGFD, at 60 years of age, is still blessed with my youthful good looks, my full head of hair, my 20-20 vision, and my magnetism to chicks of all ages.
How about you? You obviously understand humor, but is the top of your head getting that loss-of-hair, toilet-seat look yet? How about that face of yours? Some unwanted wrinkles & lines appearing?
Just thought I’d ask as I “move along”.
The Guy from Delaware
@33….Excellent “Escape From New York” reference….!
Who the hell is John Woodson?
@50
he was an american football commentator. he licensed his image to some video games. true hero.
TGFD @42 here…
My apologies I didnt realize you were 60 that explains so much. Enjoy your remaining years and have fun bleeding Social Security and Medicare dry!
51 That’s Madden ya douche Woodson was a b-ball couch at UCLA! What a retard you are 51. I’m so smart and funny and … wait a minute are you being sarcastic? Man I’m a douche – never mind.
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man is called John Woodson.
Anal_Yst@#44…
You make an excellent point about AIG-FP and AIG Health Insurance. TGFD was already aware of that.
Someone told me long ago that “money is fungible”. One dollar is the same as any other.
My point was that Gov’t money went to AIG corporate, and as I understand it, not to AIG-FP directly, and it was used to pay $12 Billion or so to GS for CDSs. Just a small part of that $12 Billion, or an even smaller portion of the total $170 Billion in Gov’t funds could have been used to pay some of AIG’s gov’t-related health-care obligations.
Someone at AIG made the conscious decision to funnel gov’t funds to Goldman. Someone at AIG also made the decision to f’k people like Woodson over.
That is undenyable.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. My “sophisticated hummor” comment was not directed at you personally. Please don’t get offended by it. TGFD sees a lot of ‘humorous’ comments on DB that don’t seem funny to me. I was just being sarcastic about that. That’s all.
Guest@#52/42…
TGFD really doubts that I’d trade places with you if I were given the opportunity. I doubt that you have anything I want; your youth? notwithstanding.
I’ll probably take Social Security when I’m 62. That way I can get started earlier and leave less for you (just kidding).
The Guy from Delaware
TGFD 42/52here
I’m not some 18-year-old selling a cure for AIDS. I’m 46 years old, I have 22 years market experience, I know this business. So pick up your skirt, grab your balls, and lets go make some money
Wow…some rrrrrrreeealy old people here. I had the whole DB demographic wrong.
@58- 46 isn’t reallyyyyy old unless you’re some punk.
TGFD is the best troll idea
TGFD
Guest@#57/52/42…
Thanks for the info. TGFD likes you better already. Your “lets go make some money” idea is a good one. I hope I can.
I’ll leave the skirt behind, though. The only “skirt” TGFD has is my choir robe. It reaches nearly the floor, a real ‘deck sweeper’ as I call it.
The Guy from Delaware
Sombody muzzle the D-Bag From Delaware…DBFD. Enough already clown.
@33…fantastic reference…hat tip to you sir.
Epic.
TGFD, you like everyone else who doesn’t get finance need to listen to #44 and realize that the ones all the IB and finance nerds that troll DB are making fun of is ABC News.
Stupid Journalists FTW!!!!
Epic.
TGFD, you like everyone else who doesn’t get finance need to listen to #44 and realize that the ones all the IB and finance nerds that troll DB are making fun of is ABC News.
Stupid Journalists FTW!!!!