Picture 1239.pngAs briefly mentioned yesterday, Oliver Stone has signed on to direct the Wall Street sequel, after previously bailing on the project (whose original title, Money Never Sleeps, has blissfully been shelved). That’s where the good news ends and the Shia LaBeouf begins. He’s currently in negotiations to “play a young Wall Street trader under Gekko’s spell– a somewhat updated version of the character Charlie Sheen played in the original film.” While we can see LaBeouf playing a 2009 version of the sniveling Seth Davis,* this just won’t do. Hopefully the talks will fall through and when that happens, we need to be prepared to offer a more suitable alternative. Who shall that be? Don’t be afraid to think outside the box. Once you’ve answered that, determine a working list of Wall Street “personalities” we’d like to make appearances as themselves. Jimmy Cayne– given. But what about Meredith Whitney? Jamie Dimon? Jim Chanos? Mark Haines? Let’s inject some authenticity up in this piece. Lastly, since it sounds like the script isn’t exactly finalized, what do we think of a storyline involving a burning passion between Erin Callan and David Einhorny, ignited over a balance sheet brawl?
*In a Boiler Room sequel no one’s announced plans to make.

Comments (136)

  1. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    emilio estevez

  2. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    They should sign Brtiney Spears. Unemployed, career going nowhere, used to have money but is soon going to be broke and doesn’t have a fucking clue about anything related to finance. Doesn’t that about sum up the “talent” of Wall Street for the past 10 years?

  3. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:45 AM

    Well Thain is looking for work

  4. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:46 AM

    Will Smith is the only choice. He has experience in finance.
    Also, not mentioned in the article, but Erin Burnett is expected to do a nude scene.

  5. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:46 AM

    @3- brilliant pick

  6. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    Dick Fuld in the early years

  7. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    Jimmy Cayne, definitely

  8. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:47 AM

    Maxine Waters

  9. Posted by wcburrs87 | April 29, 2009 at 9:49 AM

    Zac Efron.

  10. Posted by MoneyBoss | April 29, 2009 at 9:49 AM

    Tom Cruise as Gekko
    Dakota Fanning as Seth Davis

  11. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:50 AM

    How about that young charmer from Menace II Society that murdered the store clerk?

  12. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:51 AM

    Adam Carolla

  13. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:52 AM

    Speaking of fallen wall street leaders, does anyone know if geoffrey raymond coming back to 85 broad with his “annotated citi” today?

  14. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    @9 Unless my satire detector is off this early, I think they want to portray testosterone, not estrogen.
    That guy looks sweet enough to be aa Arab Sheihks ‘personal assistant’.

  15. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:53 AM

    Emmanuel Lewis – he was never able to fully come into his own in the Webster role. I feel that this is the project that could take him there as the story unveils the single overleveraged midget who’s greed combined with evil short selling and CDS wreck the global financial system. I don’t have a character name yet but something that rings of scapegoat.

  16. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    Elisha Culberth

  17. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:55 AM

    How about a woman for the Bud Foxx role? It’s basically the Anne Hathaway character from “Devil Wears Prada” anyway.
    I’ll vote for Natalie Portman, with Glenn Close as Jordan Gekko.

  18. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    Is Daryl Hannah back?

  19. Posted by wcburrs87 | April 29, 2009 at 9:56 AM

    @14, very sarcastic, unless this turns out to be a cheesy musical…

  20. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:57 AM

    @8 – you are right, she’ll sweep the Academy awards!

  21. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    @19 what are you talking about? Blazing Saddles works amazingly well
    - a black guy

  22. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:58 AM

    I am hoping the ShamWow guy gets a reading.

  23. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 9:59 AM

    Michael Cera

  24. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:01 AM

    Matthew Fox as Bud, with Terry O’Quinn as Gordon. “The market WANTS us to come back….”

  25. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:01 AM

    This should be repurposed as a Bollywood production (“Slumdog Modelers”?) starring Mithun Chakraborty and Prithvaraj Kapoor.

  26. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:03 AM

    @2 Awesome
    @17 Get a clue, chicks on Wall St. Suck (literal and figurative!)
    John Mack needs to be in this as Gekkos target to out trade and take all his money. Hmmmm…on second thought…that would be too obvious!

  27. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:03 AM

    @19- he is WAY too old

  28. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:03 AM

    Gee, who can portray an effete Ivy League Wall Streeter?
    Tom Cruise as Gekko and Zac Efron as Bud Fox.
    “Bud, quit being naive. Only wirehouse idiots pay their taxes. Oops! You dropped the soap again! Lucky me!”

  29. Posted by Clown Capital | April 29, 2009 at 10:04 AM

    I’m putting in some phonecalls for my client, “Soulja Boy Tell Em…”
    “Hop up out da beeeeedddddd, turn my swag oonnnnnnnnnnnnnn….
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1cO-yoDiVk&feature=channel_page

  30. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:05 AM

    Two words: Seth Rogen (“what is this Bloomberg thing, uh? ha ha ha… I am so funny… ha ha ha”)

  31. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    “Gee, who can portray an effete Ivy League Wall Streeter?
    Tom Cruise as Gekko”
    Douglas has already agreed to play Gekko.

  32. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    zack braff.

  33. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    @26 nailed it……
    also this is for you 23:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?hl=en-GB&v=UWRyj5cHIQA

  34. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    Meredith Whitney, maybe she’ll actually learn how to do the job rather than get lucky here and there.

  35. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:09 AM

    Victor Garber in brownface as Vikram Pandit.

  36. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:10 AM

    Seth Rogen…. he’s in every other movie anyway. Be nice to see a chubby jew in the role… far more realistic.
    A close second is the dude who plays Stiffler.

  37. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:12 AM

    It’s 2009, and Bud Fox (Charlie Sheen reprising his role) is living out in Malibu with his brother and nephew, who moved in to help with the rent after Bud’s partner, Danny Boy Pang (played with surprising subtlety by Jackie Chan)got arrested for writing a lot of checks for $ 9,999. but other than that, was pretty legit. Bud Jet Blues it to JFK, where he gets in a cab driven by one Vik P. (played by that guy who played Gandhi because frankly, I’m just not that familiar with Bollywood) who gives him lots of advice about life and love and what might have been on the journey to Lenox Hill … where Bud’s ex-boss Gordo (played this time by Joan Rivers, because who can tell the diff — plus, she didn’t need back-end points) has been hooked up to a ventilator after a dermabrasion procedure in Antigua that went horribly wrong, but thanks to the quick thinking and heroic efforts of Gordo’s friend Sir Allen (played by John Cleese)…
    I don’t really have anything after that.

  38. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:13 AM

    @26/34 Remind me again how finance has anything to with India besides our out-sourced IT department and my occasional lunch.

  39. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:14 AM

    Kumar from Harold and Kumar as the swaps trader, britney as any sales person and seth rogan as the relationship broker.

  40. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:14 AM

    Ruth Madoff as Darryl Hannah

  41. Posted by wcburrs87 | April 29, 2009 at 10:14 AM

    No way Will Smith should be involved, if anything go for a no name actor, someone like LaSalle basketball star Rodney Green.

  42. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    Chet Holmes as Bud Fox
    Sig Hansen as Greenhorn Gekko

  43. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:15 AM

    Courtney Love as Global Head of Risk Management
    Lindsay Lohan as Chief Compliance Officer
    Ken Lewis as himself

  44. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:17 AM

    Chuck Norris as Gekko.

  45. Posted by trojan | April 29, 2009 at 10:18 AM

    @19
    Keanu is part asian. look at his name.
    i remember at a certain swiss bank when they had us take some dumb test on Basel and other regs there were several questions about Bud F. and Gordon G. and we had to decipher exactly what was wrong about Bud F. leaking info to Gordon G.
    so basically, im saying my pick would be Carl Q

  46. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    Jim Cayne, Stan O’Neal, and Chuck Prince as the “Star Chamber”

  47. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    megan fox. b/c she’s hot

  48. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:20 AM

    New title suggestions, too:
    “Not Only Does Money Sleep, It Sleeps With the Fishes”
    “Clueless 2″
    “Harold and Kumar Take Down the Global Economy”
    “85 Broad Street”
    @44

  49. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:21 AM

    19 – Keanu excels in parts where his head is, for some reason, wired to a computer -so, maybe cast him as a quant trading blackbox.
    Otherwise, Andy Garcia and Scott Caan (possibly Casey Afleck)

  50. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    Charlie Gasparino.

  51. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    Keanu Reeves as Bud Fox. Gary Busey as Marvin, his trader friend.

  52. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:22 AM

    you’re all idiots, christian bale as lead role, supporting actors are 50-Cent (ivy-league grad, got in bc of affirmative action, quick to impress, greedy, corrupt), zack braff (wharton jewish nerd, grew up in brooklyn, corrupt), and one of the Baldwin twins

  53. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:24 AM

    brian bozworth s/b gekko

  54. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:24 AM

    Ben Affleck and Matt Damon

  55. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:24 AM

    Anyone from Credit Suisse because they are the new killing it.

  56. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:26 AM

    Megan Fox in it and rename it “Megan Fox Does Wall Street”

  57. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:27 AM

    Jamie Dimon should, of course, be played by David Hasselhoff.

  58. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:29 AM

    Tim Sykes please.

  59. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:31 AM

    Bud Fox should be played by Owen Wilson’s Nose.

  60. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    Kevin Spacey as Einhorn.

  61. Posted by girl | April 29, 2009 at 10:33 AM

    Forrest Whittaker as John Carney
    Lady Gaga as Bess
    Boom

  62. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:36 AM

    Bud’s ex-boss Gordo has been hooked up to a ventilator after a dermabrasion procedure in Antigua that went horribly wrong. Gordo’s friend Sir Allen (played by John Cleese) has been in contact with Ken Lay (played by Vern Troyer. He is, of course, wearing a cheesy Allen Stanford moustache. In fact, everyone in the movie is wearing a cheesy Allen Stanford moustache, which is why John Cleese and Joan Rivers both made the cut).
    It seems Key didn’t suffer a heart attack. Rather, he faked his own death and teamed up with Sir Allen in a dastardly plot to rule the world from a secret island lair on a secluded Caribbean island. Ken calls up his energy trading buddies down in Houston and they shut down the power grid in New York, shutting off power to Gekko’s ventilator. End Scene.
    Scene Two:
    In the secluded island fortress, Ken Lay and Allen Stanford contact Tim Geithner (played Gilber Gottfried sporting a cheesy Allen Stanford moustache) and threaten to unleash their plot to ruin the financial world by unleashing an army of wealthy but corrupt money managers on the jewish country clubs throughout Florida to fleece wealthy retirees through various ponzi schemes unless that are paid EIGHT BIIILLIIION dollars of Tarp money. Meanwhile, James Bond (played by Jimmy Fallon – wearing a cheesy Allen Stanford moustache), Octopussy (played by Nadya Suleman wearing a cheesy Allen Stanford moustache) and Odd Job (played by a stoned as hell Jimmy Cayne – wearing a cheesy Allen Stanford moustache) begin to plan how to save the financial system of the world. meanwhile, at the White House, SuperObama (played by Oprah – wearing a cheesy Allen Stanford moustache) gets into his tights with the big black “O” on the chest, dons his cape and gets set to save the world’s financial system!

  63. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    Sasha Baron Cohen

  64. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    we’re gonna need a clean-up… on aisle 3…

  65. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    An anerxic Bruce Willis as Hank Paulson, The guy who played Nixon in Frost/Nixon as Dick Fuld, Alec Baldwin as Chairman Gordo’s MD, Ben Stiller as an awkward and otherwise useless a-hole VP and let’s be honest, Megan Fox needs to be involved somehow.

  66. Posted by Investorcluzo | April 29, 2009 at 10:39 AM

    @girl – FTW

  67. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:41 AM

    @63, get a job!

  68. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:41 AM

    @52 (and @19)- nailed it. Get the entire cast of Point Break in here for this. McGinley was in both movies but I like Busey better as Marvin. Swayze as Gekko.
    Gekko: If you want the ultimate, you’ve got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. It’s not tragic to die doing what you love. Trade those fucking CDOs.
    @28 and @46- you are haters.

  69. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:43 AM

    66-
    Megan Fox can play Mary Schapiro. We will all wait for her to punish those who really deserve to be but, of course, no one will ever get punished.

  70. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:45 AM

    Ron Jeremy as Sandy Weil.

  71. Posted by Lowly Assistant | April 29, 2009 at 10:48 AM

    Girl,
    So it’s true Lon Varney has a lazy-eye in person?
    -still pontificating about rice now and again

  72. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 10:50 AM
  73. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:03 AM

    rick ross as officer ricky

  74. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:03 AM

    Scott Baio.

  75. Posted by girl | April 29, 2009 at 11:07 AM

    @ Lowly, Don’t forget all the stories that started with “so WE were having drinks with a friend from MS yesterday”…tear. No to the lazy eye but it’s abundantly clear that FW is the only guy who could handle such a challenging role.
    Cheers Cluz!

  76. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:18 AM

    Bwaaney Fwank as anyone.

  77. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:20 AM

    Timmay! How could you not want the guy that turned $374 of Mitzvah cash into $7,500 over an 11 year run?
    @ 54. Boz/Sooner fan here but you’re out of your gourd on this one…

  78. Posted by Lowly Assistant | April 29, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    Girl,
    This was my favorite.
    http://dealbreaker.com/2007/08/the-commercial-paper-crunchmid.php
    All sorts of great in there.

  79. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:23 AM

    @63- 38 here. Inspired and I’m liking that whole island lair bit. Can we get the guy with the metal teeth from the Roger Moore/James Bond movie or has he gone on “to greater things” — like, an urn on a mantle?
    @68- I dunno what 63′s plans are, although those punctuation and grammar skills just scream Gainful Employment to me, but I’m starting at Chuck E. Cheese next Wednesday @ 11:00 a.m. sharp, thank you very much.
    With full dental, I might add.

  80. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:24 AM

    …bring back Sean Young as aged Mrs. Gekko. Include a scene where she finds out Gordon runs a ponzi scheme and has implicated her. She then takes revenge by supergluing his dick to his stomach.
    A panicked Gekko reaches for his cell phone, with only enough battery left to place a frantic call to eager young floor trader, played by Andersen Cooper to pry it loose.
    -BeckyBootFan

  81. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    mark haines as Ollie “The Terminator”
    meredith whitney as the hooker that picks up The Machine Sheen in the limo
    maxine waters as sir larry wildman
    gasparino as a Blue Star baggage handler

  82. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    +100 for christian bale as gekko and anyone else as the wet behind the ears trader. thats because none of the younger actors measure up anyway.

  83. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    mark haines as Ollie “The Terminator”
    maxine waters as sir larry wildman
    meredith whitney as the hooker that picks up The Machine Sheen in the limo
    gasparino as a Blue Star baggage handler

  84. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    To: Dealbreaker
    From: Mary Slater
    Re: Casting
    Date: 4/29/09
    Bess, Casting for Wall Street II and you ask your readers? Shame on you! Have your PA call mine! Here’s the list:
    Bud Fox- Ed Westwick
    Gordon Gecko- Javier Bardem
    Meredith Whitney- Ricki Lake
    Mark Haines- Pat Buttram(Mr. Haney from ‘Green Acres’)
    Jimmy Cayne- James Coburn
    Maria Bartiromo- Jennifer Lopez
    Jim Chanos- Jeffrey Jones, (Ed Rooney from ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’)
    Jamie Dimon- Daniel Craig
    David Einhorn- Neil Patrick Harris
    Erin Callan- Sharon Stone
    Charles Gasparino- Leo DiCaprio
    Dennis Neale- Crispin Glover
    Erin Burnett- Jessica Alba
    Donald Trump- Donald Trump
    Ivanka Trump- Ivanka Trump
    Call me!

  85. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    Demetri Martin (Yale B.A. 1995)

  86. Posted by trojan | April 29, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    yea christian bale would be awesome as the young wall street BSD except that movie was better when it was called American Psycho.
    FEED ME A STRAY CAT

  87. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    michael Rapaport as henry blodget
    TRB

  88. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    Plot will center around China. Anyone care?

  89. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Keifer Sutherland. C’mon guys…

  90. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    Keifer Sutherland. C’mon guys…

  91. Posted by Ops slave | April 29, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    Anne Hathaway as Bess Levin
    Kate Hudson as Equity Private

  92. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    David Faustino as Bud Fox..
    Admiral Akbar (of Star Wars fame) as Jimmy Cayne.

  93. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    INT. HOLLYWOOD (NJ) COUNTRY CLUB GRILLE ROOM – NIGHT
    Bud Fox (Seth Rogen) and Jimmy Cayne (himself) have just finished a late round of golf. They decide to get high before their chopper ride back to Manhattan.
    BUD
    (Takes hit from joint)
    Yo, Jimmy? You ever notice how, like, the floor’s just a table without legs?
    JIMMY
    (Glares at Bud)
    Shut up, you little pissant. And quit bogarting that shit.

  94. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:40 PM

    salacious crumb as jim cramer
    erin burnett as princess leia (in bikini)
    gasbagarino as principal vernon from the breakfast club (“does barry manilow know you raid his wardrobe?”)
    what movie are we casting again?

  95. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:41 PM

    Any new Wall Street film must have Bess and EP as characters. So I’ll say to play Bess lets have Ellen Page and to play EP lets have John Leguizamo.

  96. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:49 PM

    NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

  97. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:50 PM

    Can we have Daniel Craig or Clive Owen as the English antagonist?

  98. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 12:51 PM

    Angelo Mozilo as the sun

  99. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    92-
    Megan Fox as Bess Levin.
    Who can we cast as the drunken idiot who declares “We don’t make money – we print it!”

  100. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:05 PM

    Rick James as Maxine Waters

  101. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    101-
    Maxine Waters as Barack Obama

  102. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:12 PM

    Mark-Paul Gosselaar.. done

  103. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    Milton Waddams of course!

  104. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    John Hamm plays the dad.
    Shia LeBeuf plays the son – only he’s gone goth and is not into scouting anymore.
    Dakota Fanning plays the younger brother. That’s right, brother.
    Once you get these three signed up, Nic Cage will play the wrongfully accussed Pedophi…. err… “Insider Trader”.
    Dig up Marlon Brando to play the evil CEO. And Seabiscuit and Secretariet can play NYC police horses.
    - Judson

  105. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:23 PM

    Bud Fox- john carney
    Lou Manheim- hank paulson
    Gordon Gekko- dick bove
    Darien Taylor- meridyth whitney
    Sir Larry Wildman- sir elton john
    Marvin- wideclops

  106. Posted by trojan | April 29, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Rachel McAdams as Della Frye, aka Bess Levin
    Russel Crowe as Equity Private
    Ben Affleck as Guest
    yea i actually saw state of play.

  107. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    @99 FTW!

  108. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    MATSUFLEX!!!

  109. Posted by trojan | April 29, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    Rachel McAdams as Della Frye, aka Bess Levin
    Russel Crowe as Equity Private
    Ben Affleck as Guest
    yea i actually saw state of play.

  110. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:29 PM

    @99 FTW!

  111. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:43 PM

    David Lee Roth as Rick Santelli

  112. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:49 PM

    David Lee Roth as Maxine Waters

  113. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    Lindsay Lohan as Ashely Dupre (sp?)

  114. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    I should the lead – you’ll see me swinging my dick like its godzilla tail, bitches..

  115. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 2:09 PM

    ghekko: rahm emmanuel
    bernanke: guy from honey i shrunk the kids
    bud fox: matthew mcconaughey

  116. Posted by girl | April 29, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    @ Lowly- That is effing classic. Brought bitter tears to my cold dead eyes.

  117. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 3:13 PM

    Henry Paulson as Darth Vader with his helmet off
    Tim Geithner as Girl in Elevator
    Maxine Waters as Darth Vader with helmet on

  118. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 3:15 PM

    Muffie as fluff girl in limo

  119. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 3:24 PM

    John Leguizamo — as charles quintanilla
    Mickey rourke – as larry kudlow
    buffalo bill from silence of the lambs — gasparino
    “would you f me? yeah — i’d f me.
    i’d f me HARD.”

  120. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 3:27 PM

    Gordon Gekko – DMX
    Bud Fox – Fifty cent’s
    Bernanke – Rev. Jesse Jackson

  121. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 3:32 PM

    why do some many readers think that Equity Private is a dude? don’t you people know this website is entirely written by chicks!?
    girl power of the pen.

  122. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 3:37 PM

    @121 in the same vain
    Meredith Whitney- Queen Latifah

  123. Posted by Anal_yst | April 29, 2009 at 4:21 PM

    +Frank Langela (Nixon in Frost/nixon) as Jim Simons
    +Liberace(‘s ghost) as Steve Schwarzman
    +Allen Stanford as Frank Quattrone
    +Kathy Bates as Linda Thomsen

  124. Posted by trojan | April 29, 2009 at 5:09 PM

    Queef Sister @122
    i know she’s a girl. i asked her how much a polar bear weighs on her first day here.

  125. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 5:13 PM

    @122 doesn’t get it.
    To Wong Foo
    Thanks for Everything,
    Julie Newmar

  126. Posted by guest | April 29, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    Am I the only one who wants this to end with Gekko winning instead of some pansy daytime movie do-good message?
    Gekko should come back, kick some ass, and then at the end retire on an island somewhere while the world’s financial system collapses.
    Please, Oliver Stone, be a man!

  127. Posted by guest | April 30, 2009 at 5:06 AM

    Kal Penn as “Analyst #2″

  128. Posted by guest | April 30, 2009 at 9:18 AM

    Aleksey Vayner as Sir Lawrence Wildman??

  129. Posted by guest | April 30, 2009 at 9:19 AM

    Aleksey Vayner as Sir Lawrence Wildman??

  130. Posted by guest | April 30, 2009 at 11:27 AM

    John Cho as random asian dude on trading desk.
    Kal Penn as random indian dude on trade desk.
    Anything to reunite this cinematic box office smash duo.
    In true business fashion this movie should follow the rules of Nepotism.
    Gekko, Michael Douglas’s drug out son.
    Bud Fox, Colin Hanks.
    Daryl Hannahs part played by Francis Ford Coppola’s biggest casting mistake, his daughter.

  131. Posted by guest | April 30, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    Beetlejuice from the Stern Show as Maxine Waters.

  132. Posted by guest | April 30, 2009 at 5:34 PM

    High Pitch Eric from the Stern Show as Gordon Gekko’s head trader. Howard rules! Baba Boey!

  133. Posted by guest | May 2, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    Fuckface @ 46. Keanu is not an asian name.It is Hawaiian.
    - part Asian guy from Hawaii

  134. Posted by guest | May 4, 2009 at 2:52 AM

    @36
    HOLY SHIT!!!
    SICK VIC REFERENCE!!!

  135. Posted by guest | May 4, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    @3 FTW… if only we could see some serious money-honey-on-money-honey action between Bartiromo and Burnett.

  136. Posted by guest | May 5, 2009 at 12:40 AM

    stop shia leblows…

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