JPMorgan has supposedly “cut back support of various museums” (thereby screwing employees who previously enjoyed free or deeply discounted admission with a flash of their JPM IDs) and “napkins throughout the building.” Apparently, as some sort of coping mechanism, mini-Dimons have been “joking that you are going to have to bring your own toilet paper soon.” Not exactly sure why they’re so cavalierly kidding around about the prospect of BYOTP, since it’s something other firms have wholeheartedly embraced, but whatever helps bear the pain!
JPMorgan Doesn’t Give A Rat’s Ass If You’ve Got Sticky Fingers, Were Hoping To See The New Exhibt At The Met On The Cheap
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
I miss muffie …
@1- maybe if you leave that comment for a 5th time the imaginary character will come back.
Can I wipe my sticky fingers on Dimon’s shirt? I had some really greasy pizza earlier.
that is fucking bull shit. I’d quit.
Well big breaking news at CNBC: David moffet, ex CEO is returning to help interim CEO.
Would Muffie bring her own TP?
Frankly, I have started bringing my own materials – those little wipes that come in the packet you can stick in your pocket on the way to the can. They’re nice.
Why?
Because all you need to know about beancounter mentality you can learn from the fact that they buy one-ply toilet paper because it’s cheaper. Even though every single human being* on the face of the planet, when confronted with single-ply toilet paper, just uses twice as much so as to avoid polluting their fingertips, and you still don’t get as clean as you would with actual toilet paper made for actual human beings.
Actual savings on paper: zero.
Additional cost from toilets clogged with cheap paper, sick days due to hemorrhoids and cholera, and God knows what else: immeasurable.
*Including our CFO: I asked them. Yes, I’m that crazy. And yes, we still have single-ply. Told you this was all you needed to know.
@4 …except you were already laid off?
@2 doesn’t stop me from missing her … thanks for the concern.
JP Morgan first to cut, first to recover.
is this one of the many strings attached to TARP money?
“thereby screwing employees who previously enjoyed free or deeply discounted admission with a flash of their JPM IDs” I think this is gonna hurt the museums more than the employees. A lot of people having a casual interest flash their ID and enter. They’re now gonna stay away before having to part with a few of their own dollars to get in. At the end of the day, less revenue for the museum.
That was one of the best corp perks – esp when you have friends/family coming in from out of town…used to be able to get like 5 peeps in for free. Sad.
-MoneygripWisdom
@12 How does not allowing bank employees bring in 5 friends/ family for free hurt the museum’s revenue generation?
@ 14, you’re just stupid aren’t you, these places know that if you get in free the likelihood is you’ll spend money on drinks, posters, key rings and whatever other sh*t they sell. 6 people inside spending money on all that is better than none you idiot, and to these places it costs no more, unless you count the wear on the floor tiles, tool!
@14 I am a former JPMer and would always make a donation after getting in for free.
@16 and as a student, I often made a smaller-than-suggested donation, or none at all, earning death stares from docents.
@17 proud you cheap as sht? can’t afford 20 bucks…thats sad
@18 I was busy paying my own tuition, sorry