The following weekend update is brought to you by commenter anal_yst. Something new we're trying out.
By now you've all undoubtedly read with great outrage that Larry Summers made a few mil' last year, and/or whatever other headlines populate the front page of your favorite business news website. I won't regurgitate shit you already know. Besides, there's something else that's been bothering me lately that just isn't getting the kind of attention it deserves.
I'd been writing a post chastising Dominos Pizza about their new(ish) "Big Taste Bailout" commercial and sales campaign. "I'm not bailing out the fat-cats on Wall Street...sorry Mr. Hedge fund," the CEO says in the commercial. Sounds like some of the uninformed nonsense I heard when I was snapping pictures at the Protest on Wall Street yesterday (ya know, the one that wasn't technically, ON Wall Street). Yes, I realize there's actually some truth in what he's saying, but the pitchfork & torch crowd has more than enough to be pissed off about already without the pizza delivery guy stoking the fire.
Imagine my surprise and tempered excitement when I learned that their pandering Bailout BS has come back to bite them in the ass.
Fine, they only had to give away 11,000 free pizzas so they're probably thinking "BFD," but it's the principle that counts here. If someone out in the abyss has a great sense of humor, Dominos will be the next company lining up in front of Congress begging for a suckle at the Government teat. Alas, I have far too much faith in the seemingly unquenchable hunger of my fellow bottomless pits Countrymen to expect their business to suffer enough to drive them to such acts of desperation.
While we're at it, we might as well take a look at how much chedda' Dominos CEO, David Brandon pulled in last year while his Firm's stock lost ~50% of its value. What's that? He banked ~$20 million? Oh, oh my, that IS quite a lot of money! And this from that friendly guy in the commercial pointing fingers at "Wall Street Fat Cats?" GASP! Wait, he's also on the Board of Directors of 4 other large publicly traded corporations? Oh my! Does being domiciled in Michigan somehow disqualify this guy from "Fat Cat" status? Talk amongst yourselves.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 1:19PM
Booo....
We want SPODE or ALL CAPS from Wharton
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 1:31PM
Are you saying the hedge funds *weren't* massively bailed out? What do you think would have happened to hedge funds if the government didn't rescue all (but one) of the prime brokers?
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 1:38PM
pathetic
anal_yst is a decent commenter, and bless him for taking those pictures in the rain, but the latter betrays his true usefulness: that of a neophyte, a bullpen "gopher". linking to his (pedantic) website was bad enough, but this Domino's shite = fail
flipside: I'm sure he'd run over for some lunchtime muff divin' ("no kosher muff too tuff")
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 1:38PM
When this thing - and by that I mean all that constitutes the great clusterfuck we find ourselves in - is over and the history is written, there will be things that come to light that will utterly shock people. And I mean things that will make the AIG bonus fiasco look silly (I know, it does already). But by the time that happens, things will be on the upswing and no one will care. So goes the world.
Ask me how I know.
- Inside Man
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Apr 05, 2009 1:59PM
To be fair, David likely lives in Grosse Pointe/Bloomfield, which are both highly regarded neighborhoods in the mitten state.
5,
I think Anal's point is that painting the entire street as unethical/fat cats/baby eaters is quite ridiculous when pairing their compensation with some dude who slings 'za. Just because the goods or services provided by one is easier to understand than those by another (e.g., cinnamon stix vs. capital markets) means we should celebrate the former while ostracizing the latter? That's ridiculous.
Drumming up rage towards wall street to make a buck is on par with selling the Patriot Pack post 9/11. Make them feel "had."
The problem is the pandering to ignorance, as opposed to dealing with the reality of functioning markets.
Don't get me wrong, much rage is justified, just misdirected.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 2:27PM
The commercial's harmless. Yeah, he's overpaid (how many CEO's aren't). But, Domino's turned a profit last year and hasn't had to go hat in hand to the government for money. Plus, is there a stock that hasn't been crushed to some degree the past 6 months.
There's bigger issues ou there to discuss.
Posted by Anal_yst , Apr 05, 2009 2:38PM
@4
Methinks you need to work on reading comprehension, as I acknowledged "...there is truth in what he's saying..."
@5
Give it time.
@Lowly
Thanks for translating exactly what I was getting at. Thought it was entirely obvious to anyone with 1/2 a brain, apparently I was giving people far too much credit, sigh...
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 2:39PM
During these tough times we all need a story that will inspire us. A story that will tug on our heart and remind us that there's still good in this world and Santa is not an asshole.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBPk39BxaDs&feature=channel
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 3:16PM
empty suit who spouts phrases taken from motivational posters. gets paid off by the lbo firm that controls the company while public shareholders get short end of the stick. oh yeah, has huge ego (can you tell?). pulled similar stunt on the apprentice. goofus.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 3:34PM
Here comes the pizza tax, which will teach Dave not to speak out against the powers that be (and their owned reps on the hill).
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 4:38PM
@ 12 --- What does that story have to do with anything in this thread.
Posted by Conflict of disinterest , Apr 05, 2009 4:55PM
Nice topic! I have had an appetite to run this clown through with a pitchfork but will have to settle for never ordering Dominos again. I will spare you the spanking you gave me Friday night for choosing the wrong word and simply advise you to shorten the hook; no need for the picture AND the thousand words. Remember, the tip of the spear is the most compact part.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 4:58PM
nice to see that commenters here are so devoted that they are willing to spend their weekends on futile and probably unpaid efforts to out-bess bess..
Posted by Conflict of disinterest , Apr 05, 2009 5:09PM
and @4 - hedge funds were not bailed out. Go where you have some knowledge of the subject matter, somewhere else, like a KFC or Nascar.com
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 5:14PM
Domino's is run by wingnuts. Glad you exposed them.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 5:22PM
Analyst: Hedge funds got bailed out by the taxpayer. Dominos made a commercial complaining about fat cats and hedge funds getting bailed out. Dominos' CEO did not get bailed out by wall street and made alot of money.
So there is no hypocrisy. Dominos isn't complaining about high salaries. Nice made up story, idiot.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 6:45PM
@20-
i'm not following you. which hedge fund(s) were bailed out with my tax dollars?
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 6:48PM
Douchebag #8
What rock you been under? ANYTIME a divorce gets nasty, molestation of the kids is the first bomb launched. Don't know either party, don't care to, but the judges don't give it the time of day in 99% of the cases. Surprised they still throw it.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 7:05PM
@13- "nice to see that commenters here are so devoted that they are willing to spend their weekends on futile and probably unpaid efforts to out-bess bess.."
what the fuck are you talking about, Crazy?
Posted by trojan , Apr 05, 2009 7:12PM
its an ad. ads = lies. don't take it at face value.
Q: how do you get a ucla grad off your front porch?
A: you pay him for the pizza.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 7:51PM
@trojan- the point is not that it's a lie, the point is that it's bull shit.
Posted by Last Man Standing , Apr 05, 2009 8:53PM
@2 & 16
Dominos buys all their cheese, flour, canola oil, meat from the US farmers that were bailed out. the farmers have been getting bailouts for decades.
what do you think would have happened to dominos if they had no supply of flour or cheese.
you boys have shit for brains.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 9:11PM
See Dick. See Dick write. Write Dick, write.
Posted by Finnegan , Apr 05, 2009 9:14PM
First off, Dominoes is rather bad pizza. Second, Dominoes is rather bad pizza. And third, agree with the piece, and Dominoes is bad pizza.
And doing commercials where you play to idiot populism is like biting off your own nose, regardless of whether they are hypocritical or not.
First they come for incompetent bankers, then they come for profitable yet incompetent pizza makers making 20 million, and then, they come for incompetent me and you.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 9:27PM
What hedgefund was bailed out with Uncle Sam and my money? Thats news to me Dave Brandon, get your facts straight you idiot.
Work on getting your stock back to the measley $14 52 wk high, only have 50% more to go you hypocrit. The ignorance of America and Obamaidiots.
Posted by Anal_yst , Apr 05, 2009 9:43PM
@23
Thanks, that definitely made my day.
Posted by Finnegan , Apr 05, 2009 9:55PM
Betting Dave is not an Obama supporter, but @26 just had to work in "Obamaidiots" into his commentary.
Betting Dave has kicked in hundreds of thousands to Republican candidates.
Betting that more than a few Republicans are stoking the stupid populism found in that commercial.
Posted by Finnegan , Apr 05, 2009 9:58PM
(Meant @25 in previous post, my apologies)
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 10:32PM
This post doesn't make sense. The pizza company wasn't bailed out by the government. The banks were.
Posted by Last Man Standing , Apr 05, 2009 11:07PM
spare me, Dominoes was a Bain LBO. This guy would know a hedge fund if it hit himin the face.
When the moon hits your eye like big pizza pie....
Posted by Anal_yst , Apr 05, 2009 11:48PM
@29
Reading is fundamental. Try again, if you still don't get it, back to yahoo.
Posted by guest , Apr 05, 2009 11:55PM
Hey morons - Confict of disinterest, @17, @25 - hedge funds were a beneficiary of their counterparties not going bust thanks to the bailout. And, if you want specific names - Citadel and Paloma feature on AIG's list.
Posted by Anal_yst , Apr 06, 2009 12:27AM
Ok so to you whiners, fine, lets work under that premise that a few HF's were beneficiaries of the various "bailouts," so rich people didn't lose all their $ so now they can still keep spending it, which in turn will keep many people in their jobs.
Please, enlighten me, how, exactly, this is bad?
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 12:37AM
Mega dittos, anal_yst. Play on, playa (and don't mind the finance undergrads who troll this site, jealous they don't get to write a weekend update).
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 12:37AM
26:
I was not being comedically laudatory. The post puked.
- 23
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 12:49AM
@26
Over 10% of the comments on this board are from you defending yourself. You're never going to please everybody. Fuck 'em, don't worry about it.
BTW, the post, well, umm, better luck next time?
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 12:56AM
@36, here.
Oh yeah, forgot...to all the kiddies out there, just because your mom and your *friends* tell you you're a great singer/writer/ball player, that doesn't necessarily make it fuckin so.
I just remembered how a few days back TGFD was so impressed by @26's insightful, wonderful comment he had to tell us all about it.
Just sayin.
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 12:56AM
Anal_yst,
Of course! The solution to this crisis is to distribute wealth to the rich so they can get the "engine of commerce" going again.
This is a weak argument at best - reference all the literature for and against trickle-down economics!
On a more fundamental level - if the goal, as you suggest is to enable the rich to keep spending, what exactly ensures that this happens? In a deflationary environment, after they've just lost a bunch of their assets? Come on. Didn't Buffet himself dismiss this argument a while ago?
Your blind attachment to the idea that main street has it all wrong and those of us on Wall St. (and I assume you're on Wall St.) is preventing you from recognizing the sentiment across America against Wall St. bankers with attitudes like your's. The Domino's commercial merely exploits that sentiment.
Posted by Finnegan , Apr 06, 2009 2:20AM
No, the solution to the crisis is to get your banks functioning to the point where they can do their core competency,which is making loans to big and small businesses and individuals.
They are the only business units (unlike autos) whose health extends to making the rest of the economy (and the workers in that economy) healthy.
So to the extent we don't do a bailout because some of the counterparties happen to be a hedge fund or two (along with other counterparties like other banks, municipalities, pension funds), such would be an exercise in chopping off your head when you catch a cold.
Has nothing to do with saving the rich, or keeping the rich investing in some trickle down effort. Has to do with keeping money available for the daily functioning of commerical transactions so we don't outdue Sudan or Nigeria or the back of your ass in banana republic olympics.
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 2:53AM
"Another person familiar with the negotiations suggested the situation was "FLUID" and that advisers..."
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123896664697090681.html
Posted by trojan , Apr 06, 2009 2:56AM
@ analyst
who says rich people will spend? if they're somewhat smart (assuming they made their riches not inherited it) they'll probably know to cut back on spending
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 3:00AM
@39, 38 here.
I agree with most of what you said. I don't think the failure of a large counterparty like Citadel would be anything but bad for the system.
But, let's not confuse bailing out hedge funds out of a necessity to save the economy with bailing them out to stimulate spending by hedge fund investors.
The former recognizes and hopefully marks such institutions with a scarlet letter. The latter creates a sense of entitlement among incompetent managers (at hedge funds and their counterparties) for being the saviours of the economy.
Newly minted analysts and wannabe BSDs should recognize the how badly our industry has fucked the country and why we need to accept our fair share of the blame.
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 3:11AM
Don't knock the guy who is providing work for unemployed hedge fund guys in Florida. His company exudes community service.
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 3:11AM
Tanned Banker shoudl be a guest blogger as well...
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 6:34AM
@11, regarding post #8- What is in common... lack of responsibility.
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 7:01AM
Guest blogger should be open to all, especially to guest. Cluz, Anal, Tanned B, Trojan, Low A and guest consistently submit excellent posts. (This also includes you VIK.) They give to the community unselfishly for the common good and this is what makes Dealbreaker such an outstanding website. The community provides for the individual and this should not be limited to one person.
For those interested, they should submit an email address to Bess and Top Gun. When DB decides on a topic they send a blast email out and take the best bullets points from those responding.
This would be the difference between the excellent buds that are currently grown now in the comment section that contains seeds vs. growing sensimilla buds.
You guys can be Special Ops Trichome.
Posted by trojan , Apr 06, 2009 7:58AM
@46
how much for an eighth?
Posted by Anal_yst , Apr 06, 2009 9:26AM
@38, trojan, 42 etc.
1230am I'm not gonna write a freakin treatise backing up the points that should be obvious. Its not all about trickle-down effects, duh. As Finnegan @ 39 said, you gotta keep the system functioning. Don't want to keep existing major banking players afloat? Fine, let them all go bk and reorg, I'm sure that won't cause (at least pockets of) panic or anything. Controlled disorder is better than uncontrolled panic.
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 9:30AM
I remember ordering pizza for our quants and I asked them if they wanted it cut into 8 or 16 slices and they told me to have it cut into 8 slices because they didn't think they could eat 16 slices.
~Former Lehman Originator
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 12:14PM
@19
what is it exactly that you dont understand retard?
Posted by guest , Apr 06, 2009 12:14PM
Analyst is well on his way to a career at Fox Business News. Grats broseif.