We’re going to be working with these government people for the foreseeable future so it’s probably best we throw back a few and get the inter-office groping out the way now, right? Right. First on your list: James Lambright, chief investment officer of the Troubled Asset Relief Program. You’ll want a cheat sheet of stuff to BS about for a few awkward hours before going home together, so let’s just pluck what we need to know about Jimmy from the Journal‘s primer on the guy, hired by Hank Paulson (who appears to be his biological father), and asked to stay by Geithner “for an undefined period of time.”
* Stanford undergrad, Harvard Law.
* Amateur boxer who made it to the semi-finals of the Golden Gloves, just like another Wall Street celeb. (Charity match on the horizon?)
* Scary enough to intimidate a guy who could easily palm a basketball and whose college nickname was the Hammer (“He’s unbelievably tough, and sometimes needs to be reminded that the job is to save the financial system,” says Paulson).
* Donaldson, Lufkin & Jenrette alum
* Appointed by Bushie to run the U.S. Export-Import Bank
* “On loan to the Treasury” but still “oversees” shit at the USEIB, where he makes a salary of $162,900
* Makes his own PB&J sandwiches for lunch
* “Takes photographs of doors he finds interesting”
* “Is fond of metaphors” (idioms, not so much)
* Is kind of a prick! (But the prick this place needs?)
Late on New Year’s Eve, James Lambright, a Treasury Department official, sat waiting impatiently for documents to arrive from Citigroup Inc. He’d just been told by the bank’s chief financial officer that Citigroup couldn’t reach some executives who needed to sign the paperwork, including one woman whose husband was in the hospital with a heart attack.
“Well then, you know where to find her,” Mr. Lambright replied to the finance chief, Gary Crittenden, according to three accounts of the call. “Put someone in one of your fancy black cars and get her to sign the document.”
Where’s the 8 ball?
Apple pays James Lambright 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
James Lambright has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
-Wildcard bitches!
James Lambright’s tears can cure cancer. Too bad he’s never cried!
James Lambright can buy an MBS worth 10 cents on the dollar for 50 cents on the dollar and still make a profit, bitches.
from DLJ to PB&J…how the mighty have fallen. I love how they write “after DLJ merged with another firm” – ahem, credit suisse.
I once saw James Lambright compress the yield curve with his bare hands.
This guy is Rambo !
Is James Lambright single? I think you need to do the top 10 hottest TARP, Treasury and SEC Staffers.
@6 my thoughts exactly
The Blue Man Group — Part Two
That’s not a bald head on James Lambright, it’s a massive knuckle.
…He’s got a wife and 2 kids, all bald, completing The Fist for family photos.
@9 dont forget the FED staffers. I dont know about listing the best looking but I would love to see what the staffers that are actually making the decisions and doing the leg work look like. Do we have the Hunchback of Notre Dame slaving over a computer in the basement of the fed trying to solve these problems or is a sorority girl trying not to break a nail when typing.
“Takes photographs of doors he finds interesting”
wtf?
15, I’m thinking landmarks like the Norte Dame. But if it’s Burger King bathroom doors that occupy his favorite rest stops, yeah, then that’s probably grounds to deny him a firearm.
James Lambright is so hot right now, James Lambright.
I’ll know where to go if I ever need a stand-in bailiff for my re-enactments of “Night Court”.
15 – It is a very popular hobby in DC. People on Capital Hill and Georgetown are very proud of their doors and spend lots of money to make them unique. There are artists in DC that specialize in painting pictures of doors.
When James Lambright does push-ups, he’s actually pushing the earth away.
i hear he drinks a LOT of Tang
@14 I worked at the Fed back in 04, and my recollection of research/monetary affairs people was that they were mostly boring, moderately nerdy white people, none of whom were particularly grotesque or otherwise unusual looking.
james lambright aka the human phallus
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Jimtatorship.
Amateur boxer who made it to the semi-finals of the Golden Gloves, just like another Wall Street celeb. (Charity match on the horizon?)
I put my money Gaspo – didn’t go to Stamford or Harvard. Gaspo went to like St Peter’s in Jersey City. Gaspo fights dirty.
I heard James’ buddies at the Treasury got him a cake for his birthday last year. Apparently James ate the whole thing before they had a chance to tell him there was a stripper inside.
James Lambright does not negotiate. He dictates.
James Lambright doesn’t even need a tagline.
James Lambright can get a CDO sales & trading internship at Lehman Brothers
next summer.
They named Lamborghini after James Lambright
I got tired of paying for haircuts, and I get pretty darned tired of shaving it, but I have to draw the line somewhere.
Does Will Ferrell know he has a twin brother at Treasury? A bald, blunt, boring, broke brother?
Does Will Ferrell know he has a twin brother at Treasury? A bald, blunt, boring, broke brother?