Until recently- this morning- we’d never heard of “Reverend Billy,” an anti-consumerism preacher and leader of “The Church Of Life After Shopping,” which was decidedly our loss. Sure, we couldn’t help but notice the megaphone-wielding dude in the blue suit from the picture commenter anal_yst sent us yesterday from the demonstration down at AIG, but we thought he was just some sort of gay cheerleader who’d met up with the Code Pink Ladies. Apparently, he’s so much more! Later in the day, he held an impassioned exorcism in a Union Square Bank of America ATM kiosk, the kick off to an ATM Exorcism Tour extravaganza.
*Assuming this hasn’t happen already.
Archive for April 2009
Gird your loins JPMorgan conference call participants! Boy toy CEO Jamie Dimon just gave it to Guy Moszkowski cold, telling the Merrill Lynch analyst, “Maybe you should let someone else ask a question, Guy.”
Update: Dimon closes the call by asking, “Any more questions– GUY– YOU got anything?”
General Electric CEO Jeffrey Immelt and NBC Universal prez Jeff Zucker recently held a super secret dinner meeting with a bunch of CNBC “top suits” and on-air talent to congratulate the business network for doing such a bang up job throughout the financial crisis. Or did they? It’s what CNBC flack Brian Steel would like you to believe, but the Post claims the meal was actually an “intensive, three-hour” sit down to discuss “whether CNBC has become too conservative and is beating up on Obama too much,” spurred by “great concern that CNBC is now the anti-Obama network.”
Supposedly Zucker was, in no uncertain terms, pissed about Rick Santelli’s rant two months back and suggestion to his sheeple out there to go teabagging in protest. Of course, that’s all coming from an unnamed source, and Steel insists it was a laudatory event. What should you believe? Tough to say. On the one hand, you’d be hard-pressed to find a group of people who congratulate themselves more than CNBC, and on any given night of the week you could probably find at least a handful of ‘em congregating to nosh and auto-fellate.* On the other, if this really was a “thanks for the ratings” dinner, why, we’re told, wasn’t Erin Burnett invited? Or Santelli? Or Michelle Caruso-Cabrera’s rack? OR CHARLIE GASPARINO?
Finally, and this may be neither here nor there, but Rudy Giuliani’s appearance on Squawk Box this morning– attempt to discredit the story? (For his part, earlier in the show, Joe Kernan stuck to his principles and attempted to elicit some Barry Bashing from gues and noted Obama supporter Jim Chanos over higher taxes. He failed, ’cause JC is no fiddle, only getting a coy “I’m not a tax expert, Joe,” but the effort was duly noted.)
*I’d say circle jerk but you might’ve noticed it’s every man/woman for himself over at the peacock.
$$$ Allen Stanford’s face for sale [Reuters]
$$$ Layoffs At Wells Fargo [ATL]
$$$ Charlie Gasparino: The Era Of High Profits Is Over [TDB]
This bloody “stress test” fiasco has mutated into the car presentation scene in every “My Super Sweet Sixteen” ever filmed. In fact, about everything the administration does looks MTV to us lately. First the car (stress test) is discussed.
“The Secretary and the Department of the Treasury have long recognized that transparency was important for taxpayers, important for the banks and important for the overall stability of the financial system,” said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. “And I think that’s what you’ll see.”
Then the make and model is discussed. Bickering ensues. It’s not clear the desired car (stress test results) will be forthcoming.
Gibbs declined to comment on what the results would be, however he said the tests would be completed – in a “systematic and coordinated” way — around the beginning of May.
Obfuscation heightens the drama (better not disclose the results early, before the party, you know).
Government officials are pressing banks not to disclose information about the stress tests in the next few weeks before they are complete. There is a worry that details will spill out during bank earnings season, which started this week. Treasury officials expect earnings season to be completed before the stress tests are finished.
Bratty behavior suggests the stress tests might not turn out as desired.
However, it’s unclear whether banks will have the option of ignoring the results. Regulatory observers argue that there are a wide variety of ways bank regulators could pressure banks to take government capital or do other things, even if they are opposed to the idea.
Now, apparently, some hint about the car might be released early. Or not. Or maybe.
Roll out the car, start the credits and put an end to the damn show already. We’re already sick of listening to this brat and RealTrue Life: I Work At The Fed is on next.
White House: U.S. to release some stress test details [MarketWatch]
The Obama Portfolio (Since Inception): +20.72%
Earlier: The Obama Portfolio
No wonder they want to invent a reserve currency that has some merits over the United States Dollar. It would be a form of methadone treatment:
China, the U.S. government’s biggest creditor, increased its purchases of American securities in February just weeks before the country’s officials questioned whether such investments were safe.
While China’s purchases slowed and most were in short-term Treasury bills, the country remained the largest foreign holder of Treasuries after its holdings rose 0.6 percent to $744.2 billion, according to a monthly report released in Washington.
We have long considered hollow the cries that the Chinese might abruptly cut off their large-scale purchasing of Treasuries. To do so would be cutting their own throat as their own prosperity is tied quite directly to their ability to find and fund customers for their chief exports (cheap labor and manufacturing). It is worth pointing out that Chinese leaders are not afraid of being deposed. They are afraid of being shot if they break the grand bargain they struck with their subjects: keep us in power, we’ll give you a taste of capitalism and the trappings of upward mobility, but we will manage that social stuff and political voice for you.
China Bought More U.S. Securities Even as Its Concerns Grew [Bloomberg]
And by everything we mean our anticipated joy in the hilarious attack ads cooked up by his opponent (the lower the budget the better). A source “familiar with Spitzer’s thinking*” told the Daily News the noted hooker fucker has no plans to run for Attorney General in 2010, despite whispers to the contrary. Which we’re admittedly a little bummed about, but you know who’s even more disappointed? Silda Spitzer. Ness needs a job already! Yeah, he’s “consulting” and somesuch but he’s not putting in the same long hours he used to ’cause he’s not passionate about it like he was steamrolling Wall Street, or bangin’ the hooks. He needs a new gig, asap. But what? Life coach? Bikini waxer? Paul Shaffer to Dylan Ratigan’s Letterman? You tell us.
*What’s it like up in there?
Seven “leading members” of a Queens, NY church have been charged by the SEC for defrauding more than 80 investors, most of whom were elderly parishioners, out of 12 or so million dollars. Isaac Ovid, Aaron Riddle, J. Jonathan Coleman, Stephen Cina, Cory Martin, Timothy Smith and Robert Riddle are all accused of “promising returns as high as 75 percent” in two hedge funds (the Logos Fund and the Donum Fund, which have separately charged for their role in the scam). Apparently little if any money was actually invested, but instead used by the group to purchase items like “expensive watches” and Bentleys, and to fund a bunch of vacays.
SEC Charge N.Y. Holy Men With Hedge Fund Fraud [FINalternatives]
So, we don’t have the same rabid (scary, bizarre, let’s mention it 873 times per show) adoration for Twitter as Power Lunch, but its utility as a tool for good is evident. Remember that somewhat prickish (but full of heart!/not really *that* bad) email from a Thomas Weisel managing director we posted on Monday? Wherein the guy bitched out “everyone below the MD level” for observing the bank holiday, demanded they get their asses to the office, and got in a dig at Wells Fargo while he was at it? Apparently it ruffled the feathers of some recipients. So what’d they do about it? Fake Twitter account, of course!
As online media “professionals” we’re well aware of the highs and lows associated with asking relative strangers to offer their opinion on something without evaluating them in any sort of way first (and even then, you’re still not safe). As a preemptive measure, in anticipation of the pot/kettle/black cries, we’ll be the first to admit that most of the time, ’round these parts, it’s a relative free for all of batshit insanity and inanity. But we’re a Wall Street tabloid, not the FDIC. Anyway! Here’s the latest in our ongoing series of the best (worst) public comments on PPIP.
llp372 [PDF]
Earlier: The (Joy/Horror) Of FDIC Public Comment Periods
