April 2009

  • News

    Oh, Yeah.

    GM is defaulting. GM Plans to Skip $1 Billion Debt Payment [The Wall Street Journal]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 3:47 PM
  • News

    What Ever Happened With That Whole AIG Bonus Thing Anyhow?

    Basically, nothing. We suspected, and told you, dear reader, that there was very little that the government could, should or would do. Not only did they do very little, other than nearly incite a riot (including here in the comments sections), but *gasp* AIG employees in all the groups are still actually getting paid- and […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 3:37 PM
  • News

    Workplace Tip: Keep Your Rage Impotent

    Do you ever get the urge to just knock the lights out of one of your colleagues because, I don’t know, he watches Two and a Half Men and insists on telling you about it, or he’s constantly on the phone during business hours with his significant other, who he calls “shmoopie,” or because you […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 3:26 PM
  • News

    Closing The Loop

    Some discussion yesterday (You’re Not So Tough After All Safecracker) caused us to wonder who exactly had put the provision that seems to forbid Tim “The Safecracker” Geithner from imposing conditions on the repayment of TARP funds. A series of amendments to what was then H.R. 384, the “TARP Reform and Accountability Act of 2009″ […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 3:06 PM
  • News

    Does Size Matter?

    Alpha‘s annual list of the Hedge Fund 100, the biggest single-manager hedge funds by AUM, is out today, and though it’s not as fun without the personal touch, it’s still a good time. The Top Ten was mostly a reshuffling of 2008’s names, with Man Group, Brevan Howard and Soros cracking the list, and Barclays […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 2:26 PM
  • News

    Casting Madoff

    You have by now, no doubt, seen the Daily Beast’s take on Madoff: The Movie. Frankly, we think their casing is all wrong. Madoff seems much more Seinfeld’s Jason Alexander to us (though we love Sam Waterston as Noel). But we don’t want to impose our jaded views on you when it comes to Bernie […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 2:20 PM
  • News

    Never Admit To Funding A Chooch

    If we were throwing $80,000 around here and there to buy up DVD distribution rights for award winning cinema like Chooch, we’d probably not be in a hurry to make a lot of detailed disclosures about the people, places and profits on the deal either. Quadrangle seems to be of the same mind. New York […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 2:03 PM
  • News

    Did Bonus Shaming Play A Part In Kellerman’s Death?

    Obviously trying to figure out why David Kellerman committed suicide is completely morbid and something of a pointless exercise, since we’ll never actually know. Freddie Mac seems to believe (or is just saying) that it knows of “no connection between this terrible personal tragedy and the ongoing regulatory inquiries discussed in our recent SEC filing,” […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 12:50 PM
  • News

    No One Wants To Be Associated With Tim Geithner

    Even his old mentors, who previously thought of the li’l fella like a son. Gary Weiss has a profile of the Treasury Secretary over at Portfolio and while there are several excellent descriptions of the varying expressions on Geithner’s face ranging from shady (“the eyes of a shoplifter”) to shitty, as in I just shit […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 12:25 PM
  • News

    How Much Is Killing Mark-to-Market Worth To You?

    About $4.4 billion if you are Wells Fargo. The net unrealized loss on securities available for sale declined to $4.7 billion at March 31, 2009, from $9.9 billion at December 31, 2008. Approximately $850 million of the improvement was due to declining interest rates and narrower credit spreads. The remainder was due to the early […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 11:45 AM
  • News

    Caption Contest Wednesday

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM
  • News

    Presented Without Comment: Just In Time

    Financial Analysis of Local Governments (New!) This seminar provides an in-depth workshop on the financial statements seen in U.S. public finance. With real-world case studies, delegates will learn where to find information in an audit, what the line items mean, and key ratios and trend analysis used by Moody’s analysts. It focuses on local governments […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 11:21 AM
  • News

    “I Want Half, Eddie!”

    We would say we are surprised. But we aren’t. Alistair Darling has announced a new top tax rate of 50% for those earning more than £150,000 from next April. The chancellor unveiled the measure after delivering a stark Budget report on the state of the UK economy. He said debt would hit a record £175bn […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 10:19 AM
  • News

    Well, Well Wells.

    Wells Fargo to the rescue. First quarter EPS of 56 cents, smacking around the consensus of 41 and otherwise looking highly suspicious. But perhaps we are being unkind. “The best way to generate capital is to earn it,” said President and CEO John Stumpf. “This has long been the hallmark of our company and we’re […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 9:55 AM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’09: UBS

    Apparently a “whole bunch of MDs” in UBS’s prime brokerage were among those affected by the massive population structuring occurring at our favorite Swiss bank in town, having been given the heave ho yesterday. (Including in the cuts was former head of prime brokerage sales and, until recently, current head of ETD sales for the […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 9:45 AM
  • News

    Opening Bell: 04.22.09

    Morgan Stanley Posts Loss (MS) Morgan Stanley reported a net loss applicable to Morgan Stanley for the first quarter ended March 31, 2009 of $177 million, or $0.57 per diluted share (reflective of preferred dividends),(3) compared with net income applicable to Morgan Stanley of $1,413 million, or $1.26 per diluted share, a year ago. Net […]

    / Apr 22, 2009 at 8:15 AM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 04.21.09

    $$$ Wall Street’s Elite Head to Campus–for Jobs [Time] $$$ ‘Bacontrepreneurs‘ Building Bacon Empire [ABC News] $$$ Goldman: The Same as It Ever Was [BusinessWeek]

    / Apr 21, 2009 at 6:45 PM
  • News

    Layoffs Watch ’09: Morgan Stanley

    From here on out you’ll have to figure out what is and isn’t considered inappropriate touching on your own.* Apparently Thursday will be the last day at the House of Mack for at least a handful of employees in the homosapien resources department (particularly those focusing on recruiting). *For those unsure, perhaps we can start […]

    / Apr 21, 2009 at 4:36 PM

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