Peter's wondering how he'll survive on only $10,000 a month, Ruth's jewelry shopping in Palm Beach and Andy and Mark Madoff are most likely off on a 6 month fishing trip funded by gal pal Bob Rubin, but at least one member of Ponzi Nation is facing facts. Shana Madoff, niece of Bernie and wife of former SEC employee Eric Swanson, has apparently started getting worried about the matter of having "signed a lot of documents" in her role as a Madoff Securities compliance officer, which may result in some orange jump suit time. Resourceful girl she is, Shanala's enlisted the services of the highly recommended Larry Levine, founder of Wall Street Prison Consultants, which, for $850, gives white collar criminals a "wake-up call" on how to act behind bars and secure early releases. Shana is said to have enrolled in Fed101, a course that covers, among other things:
(For our future WCC readers looking for something a little more in-depth, consider Incarceration Optimization, a 100-hour program that'll set you back 20-large but'll probably be money well spent).
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 8:51AM
she's going to have her ass handed to her.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 8:54AM
@1 her SWEET ass.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 8:57AM
Nice a$$. Can we have a frontal ?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:01AM
i'll give her a wake up call.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:01AM
bernie- you dog.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:02AM
"prison slang and lingo"
awesome
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:02AM
I found pics online and I threw up in my mouth. I also pooped a little.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:05AM
Agree with 7, a good representative for Ms Buttaface 2009.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:06AM
@8- she's a madoff, what do you expect? you've seen pics of Bernie, right?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:07AM
@8- she's still better than the stable of Noels.
Posted by Clown Capital , Apr 13, 2009 9:18AM
Lesson 029 is an oxymoron; It's inevitable in the "clink." It should be retitled, "DEALING with Post-Traumatic Prison Gang-Rape Syndrome."
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:20AM
Also should have 043: Using Cigarettes as Currensy would be helpful
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 11:20AM
If you beat someone up the first day, it's not so bad.
Posted by Finnegan , Apr 13, 2009 11:38AM
What happens in prison and what people like to imagine happens in prison often differ.
It's like before you go to high school and you hear stories about seniors picking on freshman and then you get there and find out only the true putzes get tagged.
Nobody will be tagging Shana vag.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 12:53PM
she looka like aman.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 1:13PM
"Most chicks are gay for the stay, and I was the same way." --Heidi Fleiss
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 1:15PM
she is definitley not that bad for an older broad. All of that Palm Beach sun has taken it's toll. the body is great.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 1:23PM
@17
She's not that good, either. What are you trying to say?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:35PM
You need a permit for the old soft shoe? Mr. Bojangles never did.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:06PM
She is toast
They just gave 3 yrs to a senior female exec who rubber stamped Gen Re docs.
By comparison Gen re finite capital fraud is like bouncing a check, compared to this
Posted by PrisonCoach , Apr 13, 2009 3:22PM
Incarceration Optimization Program
As the original Prison Consultant, I am here to make money. Sadly there are members of our society that can’t play by the rules. That’s why I’m here, to educate and help them adjust to the next chapter of their life.
I feel bad for the families left behind. My mission is to help the family stay healthy, ensure the safety if the new inmate, prepare them for what awaits, and guide them after they’ve been released.
I do not determine if they are guilty or not, that’s the Judge’s job, I just teach prison survival skills and the law of the prison.
Personally, I do not assist those convicted of a violent or sexual crime. I chose not to work with such people, due to the heinous crimes.
Equally, I would never work with this family- the destruction and lives they ruined ripples throughout society.
This man is the lowest of the low, and there is no money in the world that would convince me to work with such a man.
This man and entourage deserve no help from anyone!
Good Luck and Good Riddance!
Steven Oberfest
Incarceration Optimization Program
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:39PM
methinks NYMag.com is starting to rip off stories from dealbreaker.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:41PM
@22- starting? they've been doing it for months, pretty shamelessly.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:55PM
@22- i counted at least 3 just today.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 5:19AM
This is tragic; the SEC guy was her second husband, morals, schmorals.
Posted by guest , Apr 16, 2009 12:46PM
Put the whole Madoff clan in prison including Shana's husband Eric. Eric is still allowed to run his rogue firm Bats while this unfolds. How much money is hidden in this new firm that Eric got expedited exchange status for from his old employer SEC (can anyone say bribes)? We duped investors demand action and justice.