The following email has been circulating among Stanford Financial employees, purportedly sent by the mother of Sir Stan’s fiancé, Andrea Stoelker. Apparently the tearful Stanford is “heartbroken” over everything that’s happened (mostly the matter of being robbed of his rightful place on Forbes‘ richest list), and hasn’t stopped crying since being interviewed outside a bar in Houston a few weeks back. Now, more than ever, he needs your strength. Send words of encouragement to RASfriends324@gmail.com, and pipe bombs to whatever happens to be the address of the SEC, the pigs who did this to him, and who cost you your jobs.
Stanford Employees [PDF]
not related but what’s with Bess and EP’s boner for Bill Ackman?
not related, but why don’t you leave that on, like, the ackman post, @1?
He should punch her in the mouth
He’s straight?
@4- nah, she’s definitely a beard.
“…and that was the second time I got crabs…haaaahhhhAAHAHAHH!”
All y’all keep saying he’s a turd burglar but I ain’t a hearin’ it from any other source.
The Ghost of Marvin Zindler
EYE WITNESS NEWS
@7
“SLIME in the ice machine!”
Just remember if Bernie hadn’t confessed all of the heebs would be writing the same thing about him.
She’s got balls. I like balls.
This letter woulda been much more interesting if it started…Hi my name is Kathy Stoelker and I am a Nigerian diplomat…
@10: Saying “my daughter’s fiance is innocent! Send him emails!” doesn’t require balls. It just requires stupidity.
My name is Kathy Stoelker and I pimped my 20 something year old daughter to a man who is damned near 60 years old because he had money and we thought if he knocked her up we would be set for life. Sadly, we have found out the guy was operating a ponzi scheme when the whole thing collapsed.
Needless to say, my daughter isn’t really hot and God knows, she doesn’t have a lot going for her upstairs, so we are pretty much screwed at this point. Federal authorities haven’t really had much of a sense of humor about this whole thing since the shit hot the fan. The old fart doesn’t have any money and he doesn’t have a job. Pretty much, he just sits around with his teeth in a glass, unshaven, wearing a wife beater and mumbling something incoherently about some guy named “Jim” being responsible for all his problems.
In short, my life sucks. Can someone please act as pen pal to this old fart and send him some e-mails so we can keep him busy on the computer when my daughter and I are out trying to find some other mark to support us? Her tits are going to start sagging something awful soon and since the old fart doesn’t have any money to pay for either of us to get new boobs, we have to act quickly. His e-mail is poundmeintheass@federalprision.org
#13 – Kudos. Well done.
Please send your ” FUCK YOU’s “, anonymously to RASfriends324@gmail.com
You can sign up for a free, throw away, gmail account just for this purpose, here:
https://www.google.com/accounts/NewAccount?service=mail
Thanks for your support.
Wow #13, good. You forgot the true mark of a “no-class” person, the “idea” that you use “scarequotes” as a sign of “disdain.” Kathy has to be a real “prize.”
Hire @13.
@16 wtf?
Not to mention “they have set their sites on Allen,” no doubt websites she means. HS dropout. Hope he’s enjoying the flowing Mountain Dew.
great movie @6
@19- actually, she probably was just confusing “sites” and “sights.”
@21, i think 19 knew that and that was what he was pointing out
Seriously,you are looking for a blogger, no? HIRE #13 — that is some funny shit!
13 – Dang! Thank you fror translating that self-important heap of crap! It is much clearer now. :)
Bess – please hire #13.
-@13, thank you.
(admit I’m #s 16, 19)
The point of checking the useless scarequotes and the spelling is that, as an academic who’s graded tons of undergraduate writing, I can see that the letter was written by a combo of a C student from college long ago (Stanford) and a high school graduate (Ms. Voelker). You get papers that are obviously by student + significant other, one being clearly smarter than the other, all the time.
Sir Stanford showed a drunken faith that his employees love him even as he loves them in his famous TV appearance. That shows up again in this letter. There’s no way he didn’t dictate its contents. Truth is, there were former employees busting their guts to expose him as a fraud for years before SIB failed, and there were people claiming to be former and even current employees all over these blogs helping bring him down as the disaster struck in February.