So, I realize that intolerance is a problem at all that jazz, but the below email is pretty global in its distaste for organized religion. And though it's sort of prickish, 'cause I'm sure you're all working as hard as you can, in spite of ourselves, we kind of dig it, in a tough love kind of way. Moving forward, we're going to suggest it be used as a form letter for anyone dealing with slacking employees. Swap out WFC for your bitch bank of choice (BAC, C, whatever you fancy. Ladies' choice).
From: [redacted]Sent: Friday, April 10, 2009 10:38 AM
To: [redacted group]-Investment Banking
Everyone below the MD level --
We are an investment bank. Unless you are an orthodox something, please get into the office. We are getting paid minimum wage for a reason -- we are not making money, which is hard to do from home.
Join Wells Fargo and become a teller if you want to take bank holidays.[redacted]
Managing Director
Investment Banking
Thomas Weisel
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:37PM
First Post.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:39PM
Seriously?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:39PM
Ha!!! If this is real this person is toast
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:40PM
If you are s&t who are you supposed to be calling and what are you supposed to be trading? This is like shops that make you get there at 6:30 am, when all you do is stand around drinking coffee/smoking butts for 45 minutes...
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:41PM
file this in the same place you put the "bernie madoff to give graduation speech at wharton."
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:43PM
@5- nope.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:45PM
@5- nah, it's real.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:46PM
Getting into finance, I never imagined all the BS face time. Most people don't do shit for 4 (at least) of the 12 hours they are in the office.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:47PM
This is absolutely what people think/say but you'd have to be a complete moron to put it in writing. I call bullshit on this one.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:53PM
It's gonna be a pitch book kind of Easter!
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:54PM
Amen!
Thank the Lord
If i told you the # of lame entitled jr. nbanker excuses I heard from 2002-2004 from pitch monkeys...you would puke
Post 9/11 jr. bankers are the most entitled fuckers around.
If you made VP prior to 9/11 you know this gym/seamless web bag/to car home by 8 nonsense... and 6 wedding weekends/summer for the chix as well.
Good fucking riddance
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:55PM
@4, S&T isnt investment banking, lets be honest
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:55PM
there is simply NO WAY this is real
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:58PM
@13- the guy's an md so that'd be absurd if someone under him was impersonating him...and i doubt someone at the md level would be pulling pranks, but rather would be completely serious sending it
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:58PM
it's not outlandish enough to be fake. stupid enough (of the guy) to be real, though.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:58PM
Why is it everyone below MD level? The MDs are so unproductive that staying home will yield the same results as going in?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 2:59PM
An edited screen grab of the email will settle this. I'd follow that by a head rolling.
Your boss ...
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:01PM
@16- cause the guy's an MD. he can't very well boss people around on his level or above.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:03PM
@17- from who, a recipient?
Posted by Investorcluzo , Apr 13, 2009 3:05PM
this is a joke. ..seriously, the markets were closed. that will teach him to leave his computer on over the weekend.
@11 - agreed, this analyst entitlement thing went way too far during the dot com days when banks had to compete against the silicon valley feel good bs. unfortunately the only thing that got re-set was banker pay (and the free drinks/meals).
Posted by american bandersnatch , Apr 13, 2009 3:05PM
I've got no problem with this memo. If you want to be treated and paid like a hard charging, take no prisoners mudderfudder, get your ass into the office on Friday.
Posted by Anal_yst , Apr 13, 2009 3:07PM
This definitely seems plausible, especially if its a relatively small group (say <25 people) that are relatively close. Besides, wouldn't you rather have an MD who's frank instead of passive-aggressive?
Posted by FUNdamental , Apr 13, 2009 3:12PM
Jamie D on the whit courtesy phone for [redacted].
Finally the voice of reason squeaks out from a dark corner.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:12PM
sounds like it could be Quinlan, Warner, Bader, Stack... or Ann A-keechy-keechy-kichica!
Posted by FUNdamental , Apr 13, 2009 3:13PM
Jamie D on the whit courtesy phone for [redacted].
Finally the voice of reason squeaks out from a dark corner.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:14PM
Wells Fargo Securities was in the office on Friday
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:14PM
John Soden...
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:15PM
"Unless you are an orthodox something"
AWESOME. I'm an orthodox slacker.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:17PM
@21 Agree. I don't get the shock and outrage either. Although, last I checked Wells (80b) vs Weasel (125m), so he could have picked someone more his size.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:17PM
analyst@22 knows what's up.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:18PM
Anyone who has not been an actual Investment Banker thinks this has to be a fake.
Everyone who has been an actual Investment Banker knows this has to be real.
Choose which group you think is credible.
Bitches . . .
-- Dave Chappelle
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:21PM
This makes sense. Most MD's are insecure morons anyways. If they had any talent, they would have gotten out of IB well before the Principal level (and more likely, the VP level).
Posted by miami , Apr 13, 2009 3:23PM
31 is soooooooooo right.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:26PM
@29- i guess he was just going with the regional rival?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:27PM
what an idiot, Friday was not a Federal Reserve Bank Holiday so the tellers @ wells fargo would have been working
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:31PM
...and you want to be my latex salesman.....?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:33PM
at least he said please.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:34PM
I love that guy...send my resume right now.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:36PM
CHUNG is KING!!!!
Posted by NotNasser , Apr 13, 2009 3:38PM
I was in my office Friday. You may have heard that I was playing bridge with three buddies, that isn't relevant: we WERE all in the office.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:41PM
That watch costs more than you car. I made $970,000 last year. How much you make? You see pal, that's who I am, and you're nothing. Nice guy? I don't give a shit. Good father? Fuck you! Go home and play with your kids. You wanna work here - close! You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you cocksucker? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:43PM
"We are getting paid minimum wage for a reason -- we are not making money, which is hard to do from home."
Confused, drunk, or just a lousy writer? No wonder no-one came in early to crank out revision #64 to this doofus's 200-page pitch book to Microsoft.
Putz.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:45PM
@41 tell me you are NOT quoting Boiler Room
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:48PM
@41 well done. I'd like to think this communique is true although its a bit of a stretch to think that TW needs all hands on deck on Good Friday to work on their next $ 20 mm PIPE.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:51PM
@43 Glengary Glen Ross genius. You might want to stick to Will Farrell films
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:51PM
"Unless you are an orthodox something"
Since it's Good Friday he's talking about, I'm pretty sure the orthodox somethings wouldn't be taking the day off.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Apr 13, 2009 3:53PM
@43 - Please go home. Coffee is for closers.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:55PM
@45 & 47
~Lighten up old timers
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:56PM
@42, good call.
and to add to your point, it actually is REALLY easy to NOT make money from home...this guys needs to get a better grasp of the english language.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 3:56PM
@46 Chicho think that u bull crapper need to come to Bolas Bar and drink some tequila and eat some nice beef tacos with my special white sauce. Focker!!!
Posted by american bandersnatch , Apr 13, 2009 4:01PM
@48 - Get back to cobbling!
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:02PM
http://www.tweisel.com/AboutUs/Leadership/ExecutiveOfficers/?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:04PM
@51 - Did you mommy not hug you enough?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:06PM
So...William McLeod or Brad Raymond, which of you is it? Balls that big deserve to be recognized.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:07PM
Are you kidding me?
Entertaining, sure. Warm and fuzzy, not so much. But how is this in any way, shape or form offensive?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:08PM
@54- none of the above. it was sent by John V. Soden III.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:09PM
@55- who said it was offensive? by your own admission it was entertaining, which is really all anything needs to be to be posted on DB.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:09PM
My money is on Brad and that this is taken out of context... locker room banter, not serious.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:09PM
McLeod is in San Fran. Raymond is in NYC. I vote Raymond.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:11PM
The guy who sent this should be fired for (1) not knowing Friday wasn't a bank holiday, (2) for not knowing that "orthodox" whatevers wouldn't have recognized Friday as a holiday and (3) not understanding that not making money from home is something millions of people do with ease on a daily basis. He brings shame on all boutique investment banking shitheads everywhere.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:12PM
@52
Generic collection of white guys in suits.
Can we have an AQR style meltdown, too?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:12PM
it's not brad, it's soden, an IB MD in san fran.
-- someone who actually go the email
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:13PM
And he's a tool to boot: http://www.tweisel.com/AboutUs/Leadership/investmentBanking/Healthcare/jsoden.jsp
Posted by Suits , Apr 13, 2009 4:15PM
43,
They're not.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:15PM
@ 57
Wasn't questioning the existence of this on DB. Was more of a general response to all the "OMG, dood is in troub!" type comments.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:16PM
Northwestern?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:16PM
Bravo to the guy for having a set on him and not buying into that whole work-life balance bullshit. You wanna eat, you'd better earn. There are plenty of people on the unemployment line who are willing to take your job for half the pay.....
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:17PM
#56, #62: I see Soden's previous employer was UBS. He must be a top-tier banker! And that picture! He certainly cuts an impressive figure.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:19PM
@64 Gotcha.
Too young for the classics.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:19PM
jsoden@tweisel.com
now everyone bombard him him emails!!!
Posted by Suits , Apr 13, 2009 4:20PM
Also, there are "orthodox" things that aren't Jewish. Thanks for playing.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthodox_Christianity
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:24PM
Soden sent that???
Awesome hahaha
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:25PM
43 You gotta be kidding.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:25PM
What about Cesar Chavez holiday?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:33PM
Just for the record, Friday was the second day of Passover. Orthodox Jews would not have been in the office.
Posted by blndebnker , Apr 13, 2009 4:34PM
That is just delicious. Of course I wasn't in the office, but that's not the point.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:36PM
@75- that's why he said "unless you are."
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 4:43PM
@77 - Understood. Comment was for the benefit of 46 & 60. Sorry for not labeling.
75
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 5:39PM
The pschiatry of all this is beautiful. Doubt whomever wrote the alleged note will ever be stenographically vocal ever again.
And, whoever outed the memo is a hero. Bullies don't like "personalization". It crushes them.
~Sigmoid Freud
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 5:52PM
Weisel isA weasel.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 5:54PM
If this was an April Fool's joke it was sent 9 days late. Pretty embarrassing.
Posted by trojan , Apr 13, 2009 5:57PM
type A personality is the new killing it
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 6:10PM
Wells Fargo's investment bank is way more legit than Thomas Weisel Partners. The tech boom is over and TWP has nothing to offer.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 6:17PM
This was my favorite part of executive bios - "Thom is also the founder and largest investor in the Discovery Channel (previously US Postal) pro cycling team, formerly led by Lance Armstrong, seven-time winner of the Tour de France, which he established 18 years ago."
So basically he owns a cycling team that once was famous and once was lead by cycling's only famous athelete, but now is neither.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 6:28PM
Why would anyone think this is too strange to be real?
Frankly, I'm surprised to see Dealbreaker make a big deal out of this. Its not really that offensive, and I've seen far worse.
I'm even MORE surprised to see so many pussies commenting and feigning their shock and dismay. Just how thin-skinned are you?
Maybe you should be consultants or some shit like that.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 6:41PM
@85 = Weasel
Wouldn't expect any less from a weasel.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 6:50PM
Not a Weasel.
--85
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 7:10PM
This guy is not half as offensive as the BAC bonus pool
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 8:41PM
Well he sure is no grammar whiz, since he obviously meant to say that it IS hard to make money from home. It would appear he's also in the slow lane for technology (not to mention management skills), since he doesn't grasp that people can make just as much money working from home as sitting in an office where MDs are focusing everybody on face time BS, and that e-mails like this have a reliable habit of flying around to thousands of unintended recipients and making the sender look like an idiot.
Posted by NotNasser , Apr 13, 2009 8:56PM
"Prior to joining the firm, John was a Director in both the Healthcare and M&A groups at UBS Investment Bank; he joined the predecessor firm, Dillon, Read & Co. as an Associate."
So he pretty much spreads death and dismay wherever he goes, right?
Way to keep the string going, Soden.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:46PM
@85- how did DB make a big deal of this? they posted it, sure, but they post a lot of stuff. those making a big deal of it are the people commenting it's too crazy to be real.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 9:48PM
@85- it was an amusing email. had spunk. this is a light-hearted gossip site. seems no brainer to show up on db.
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 10:02PM
@85- rightly noting it was "kind of prickish" = making a big deal?
Posted by guest , Apr 13, 2009 10:42PM
Soden - - you are so freaking lame. Look at the deals that you list on the TWP website. Two mega-transactions in all 2008 - - a $78mm m&a trade, and a deal that is likely so small that it will embarrass you and your partners. I know it's a tough market, but the first half of the year you had some "tailwinds".
You have to be joking to come down on the junior folks for not being in the office on Good Friday (and/or the second day of passover - - i.e., only for the "orthodox something's"). Get a freakin life a-hole.
Your former colleague that has no respect for you.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 2:38AM
ouch. rumor from the desk is the same jr banker who posted this was saved from a rif last year. Tough love indeed.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 3:07AM
it's real. the complete e-mail chain that went around is even funnier.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 8:35AM
way to go PE. don't let the man get you down.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 8:49AM
@96- post it!
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 8:57AM
@97-Nah, doubt it was PE
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 12:36PM
415.722.4707
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 1:20PM
Someone post the full email chain!!!
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 1:40PM
i hear it was AC. what a punk
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 1:42PM
@102- you heard wrong. it was soden.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 1:46PM
no, the leaker
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 1:47PM
@102 is right. Definitely was AC. Can't say I blame him though
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 1:48PM
@102 is right. Definitely was AC. Can't say I blame him though
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 2:05PM
Definitely LM... she's hot.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 2:05PM
@107 ditto that
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 2:14PM
Sounds like everyone is upset about the bonus pool at a second tier firm this year. Clearly poor judgment on the sender's part, but not much better on the part of the person who posted it in this venue. People that have jobs in this market should probably concentrate on doing them rather than slandering others...
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 2:36PM
@109 you're gay
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 2:57PM
@71 Orthodox Easter is a week later.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 3:50PM
Soden, get a life
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 4:45PM
Can we get a full email chain please? It's been a slow tuesday.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 6:45PM
@ 109 double gay
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 8:16PM
Pretty gay that you all have so much time on your hands to write messages using @#. Start studying for the GMATs.
Posted by guest , Apr 14, 2009 8:30PM
I thought greed is good?
Posted by guest , Apr 15, 2009 1:39PM
here's the screen shot
http://gawker.com/5212228/bad-bosss-get+back+to+work-email-sparks-online-revenge
Posted by guest , Apr 15, 2009 1:42PM
here's the screen shot
http://gawker.com/5212228/bad-bosss-get+back+to+work-email-sparks-online-revenge
Posted by guest , Apr 15, 2009 1:47PM
here's the screen shot
http://gawker.com/5212228/bad-bosss-get+back+to+work-email-sparks-online-revenge
Posted by guest , Apr 15, 2009 2:00PM
117-119, thats not the chain you dimwit.
but nice shoutout to DB from Gawker :)
Posted by guest , Apr 16, 2009 7:16PM
Worked for him too. Not surprising at all.
Posted by guest , Apr 18, 2009 11:39AM
Jesus, San Francisco i-banking analysts are pussies. This guy Soden should be promoted or join a trading desk.
Posted by guest , Apr 23, 2009 5:01PM
in case anyone still cares, Raymond actually called all the jr. hc bankers into his office to ask "is he really that bad?"...yeah Brad he is really that bad! that's why some analysts actually cried after getting allocated to the group.