• 21 Apr 2009 at 10:54 AM

Wasn’t Me, Babe!

mmp.pngSo remember the modern day DB Cooper wannabe Marcus Schrenker? You know, accused of financial fraud, lept out of his plane with a parachute, found later trying to commit suicide in a tent with a map of campgrounds and notes on what his distress call should say? Turns out, he isn’t detail oriented enough to pull off something like that:

Schrenker told “GMA” that there would be too much planning involved in faking his own death.
“Let’s step back and think about what someone would have to do if they wanted to fake their own death,” Schrenker said in a jailhouse telephone interview with “Good Morning America’s” Chris Cuomo. “They would have to establish a new identity. They would have to have a well-funded bank account, a place where they would live. And I did nothing like that.”
Schrenker, 38, said that he’d survived an actual accident Jan. 11 by parachuting to safety after his plane hit turbulence and the oxygen system began to fail.

Marcus Schrenker Says Claim He Tried To Fake His Death Absurd
Earlier: It’s All Just This Big Misunderstanding, You See

Comments (53)

  1. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    they are so beautiful.

  2. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 10:56 AM

    His wife still looks bangin’ in that picture. Surprised she didn’t use this publicity to catapult her own buzz the same way Client 9 did.

  3. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 10:57 AM

    His wife still looks bangin’ in that picture. Surprised she didn’t use this publicity to catapult her own buzz the same way “client 9″ girl did.

  4. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 10:59 AM

    so it was just a coincidence that he landed next to his hidden motorcycle? Wow talk about lucky.

  5. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    What is this trend of sitting down with the press? This Schrenker dude, and the Stanford dude. Don’t they have lawyers, to tell them to shut up?
    Unless you’ve got a ironclad alibi and you stay 100% “on message”, you are a complete idiot to sit down and deny the obvious. But Stanford & Schrenker are by nature talkers. They’re gonna talk up their story, that’s how they came to become ponz artists in the first place.
    Their defense attorneys have to be shitting bricks, or resigning as we speak.

  6. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:02 AM

    @4 why do you gotta be a hater?

  7. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:04 AM

    cankles

  8. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    Still an idiot

  9. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:07 AM

    I just wish he’d go back to being the lead guitarist for the Scorpions – Rock and Roll baby!

  10. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:08 AM

    “You’d have to develop a flight itinerary, including a plausible detour route that gets you close to your drop zone, then an alibi for the drop zone, not too far from a hotel where you could make a reservation under an assumed name. You’d need to ensure a mode of transportation from the drop zone to your eventual destination, with specific stopping points along the way, with each of those points scoped out beforehand, including procedures for entry and exit, with all preparatory documents destroyed so no one has evidence of your planning…
    I did nothing like that.”

  11. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    http://online.wsj.com/article/SB124027886933637727.html
    “…it hasn’t been conclusively shown that cutting salt intake across the population would save lives, and it could have unintended consequences. Lowering salt can cause kidney problems and contribute to insulin resistance in some cases, says Dr. Alderman, who is an unpaid consultant to the Salt Institute, an industry group.”
    hahaha, lines like that crack me up. There’s a Salt Institute?

  12. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:14 AM

    @7- good eye for detail

  13. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:17 AM

    ud think that he wud pose in front of a nicer car than a lexus and a jet vrs a prop…piker

  14. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:26 AM

    #7 – Hate to be argumentative but I don’t believe those are true cankles. True cankles (IMHO) are the result of unusually fat ankles. Hers are the result of apparent eating disorder as evidenced by toothpick legs. Look like nice folks.

  15. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    @14 — Agreed. Definitely not true Rosie O’Donnell type cankles — need lots of extra pounds to reach that level of cankletastic.

  16. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    Yeah, if anything, she has ankalfs.

  17. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:36 AM

    @7, I still would like her to bear my progeny

  18. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    Cankles? Pls see HRC.

  19. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    She has bad legs

  20. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:42 AM

    Fail!

  21. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    @17 don’t delude yourself. The close ups are scary.

  22. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    @17: you should see the non-retouched photos.
    http://www.indy.com/photos/220545/post.jpg

  23. Posted by wcburrs87 | April 21, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    @22, thanks for ruining my day with that picture.

  24. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    #22 we thing alike :-)
    - #21

  25. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    @23 It’s a hard job being a CFO, making the coffee, making sure UPS delivers and picks up, IT helpdesk ,schmoozing clients and being married to Mark! Is it any wonder she looks like she’s been run over by a Mac truck?
    - #21

  26. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    @22 always better to lease than own

  27. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    O o
    /¯////___________________________/
    | IMA FIRIN MAH PARACHUTE BLAAARGHH
    \_\\\\¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯¯\

  28. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:13 PM

    @22 wow she is a two face.
    Fuck you very much for that photo.

  29. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:20 PM

    Never underestimate the power of good lighting, a stylist, and massive airbrushing.
    -22

  30. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:27 PM

    @27 that’s racist

  31. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:42 PM

    #22 – re that photo – an expression seems apropos: “trying to pass off mutton as lamb”.

  32. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:45 PM

    Bathed in the golden light of the setting sun. A blonde. The car (a Lexus, but hey). A biz jet, with a fully feathered prop, and bombs hanging from the wings.
    When stretched out at the funeral home, that’s the picture I want on the easel next to the casket.

  33. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:53 PM

    That pic looks–in some ways– like the Russian gangster tombstone DB ran a while back.

  34. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    @7 very observant…nasty cankles

  35. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 12:57 PM

    Hottest Banker-wife babe in 10 yr on DB
    ps, Calibrate with Griffin, Madoff, Cayne, Fuld wives if need be

  36. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    I would rather nail a nice fluffy sheep than that hose beast.

  37. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    @33 that’s funny because he actually has an uzi under his jacket…and his wife has a cock.

  38. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:20 PM

    I tried to fake my death in the Champagne Room at the “Pearl Necklace Club” in Houston by being “lap danced’ to death on the company Amex.
    Didn’t work, but I have a heck of a drycleaning bill and some ‘splainin’ to do..

  39. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    Interesting. Compare the image above with this alleged Russian mobster’s tombstone:
    http://www.boingboing.net/200803111050.jpg
    (No plane though.)

  40. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    If it flies, floats or fucks…rent it.
    -BeckyBootFan

  41. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    Woa!!! It’s Jack off of Lost!
    His plane must have crashed while he was enroute back to the island…

  42. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    Maybe OJ can help him write “If I Did It 2: Operation Dumbass Drop.”

  43. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:46 PM

    What exactly made them say, “no…let’s leave the airplane door open.” The whole photo is just wierd.
    Merry Christmas, Here’s our stuff.

  44. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    This guy must have preyed upon dumb hicks from Indiana…..
    His ultimate success picture includes a Lexus and a propeller driven private plane. Might as well fly bitch on SouthWorst Airlines….

  45. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 1:56 PM

    44 Plane has been commented on here before. Its a Swiss made turbo prop. A friend that knows such things tells me its probably among he best that an individual (i.e. someone that doesn’t maintain a stable of professional pilots) would own.

  46. Posted by Equity Private | April 21, 2009 at 2:08 PM

    You are thinking of a Pilatus. But it’s a Malibu. I made the same mistake at first glance.

  47. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 2:15 PM

    Chevy Malibu? didn’t know that GM made planes.

  48. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    Are those clown shoes he has on or was he just playing tennis on a clay court?

  49. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 2:37 PM

    @47 – I know by the lack of plane parts raining down upon us that GM does not make planes.

  50. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 3:12 PM

    @22, never mind then
    -17

  51. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    @47 for the win and, no, I’m not @47.

  52. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 5:45 PM

    that is one messed up looking hand on her hip

  53. Posted by guest | April 21, 2009 at 6:00 PM

    @52
    Holy shit! 10 fingers
    @49
    That’s a good thing! (TM)
    @51
    FTW
    - 47 & 7

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