As has been noted 'round these parts, over the last several months, noted hooker fucker Eliot Spitzer has been trying his darndest to re-inject himself into society as a remade, non-prostie bangin' man. Mostly notably, Ness has done this by taking up a perch at Slate, which is known for doling out column inches to people with spotted pasts. Some are wondering today if Bernie Madoff will make the same attempt at public rehabilitation next year, and which outlet will offer him the space from which to do it. Obviously, that outlet is Dealbreaker. We'd be more than happy to give the Ponzier a home up in this piece. But, the question is, what should the column be about? While righting the wrongs of Wall Street and waxing hypocritical about crime and punishment get Spitzer off just fine, we're thinking Ponzi-boy is sick of finance and is looking to branch out. Since you people will be the ones to read it, what would you like Berns to write about? Sex? Travel? Grab-bag life advice column?






Posted by HAM05 , Apr 20, 2009 5:08PM
gotta be about boobs
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:09PM
Prison marriages?
Escape plans?
Philosphy?
Theology?
How much happier he is away from Ruth?
101 uses for vaseline?
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:09PM
sex column
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:11PM
punternet.com, ie, the sir galahad of the US
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:13PM
Judaism, of course.
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:16PM
OCD housekeeping tips.
Nice veiled shot at Blodget, BTW. Naughty girl.
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:19PM
A spotted past is better than spotted underwear.
~ Super Quant
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:21PM
Beutiful, Sunny Florida. Can you feel it?
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:21PM
Does anyone else think he'll end up like Frank Abignale and end up helping the SEC (or whoever) in finding other Ponzers?
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:23PM
How anti-semitic stereotypes have no basis in facts
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:25PM
jewish mafia will kill him in jail, for sure!
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:29PM
punternet.com, ie, the sir galahad of the US
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:31PM
How to turn a large fortune into a small fortune
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:39PM
Woody Allen
Posted by Anal_yst , Apr 20, 2009 5:53PM
@9
No, that'd make way too much sense.
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 5:57PM
Going Muslim?
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 6:07PM
http://bernard-madoff-scam.blogspot.com/
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 6:11PM
speaking of the madoffs
http://thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/20/separated-at-birth-ponzi-edition/
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 6:26PM
Ethics and morals.
Posted by wcburrs87 , Apr 20, 2009 6:28PM
I believe it should be called "Caged Wisdom", and be about his reformed spirituality after going behind bars. Faith is a Fact.
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 6:43PM
@20 - Nice.
Posted by Novice , Apr 20, 2009 7:16PM
Country club etiquette, obv.
Posted by Joseph di Jersey City , Apr 20, 2009 8:16PM
A column called, "You call that ballin'?" in which he mocks various excesses not for their egregiousness but for their small potatoes nature. For each example he points out a similar but much larger one accomplished by himself (and of course how he accomplished it with stolen money people begged him to take and invest).
Posted by guest , Apr 20, 2009 11:48PM
I loved that man, I call him Bubba.
Posted by guest , May 02, 2009 8:48AM
How compassionate a liberal he is(as opposed to selfish individualists) and how he made the world a better place.