• 20 Apr 2009 at 5:03 PM

What Should Bernie Madoff’s Dealbreaker Column Be About?

By Equity Private

As has been noted ’round these parts, over the last several months, noted hooker fucker Eliot Spitzer has been trying his darndest to re-inject himself into society as a remade, non-prostie bangin’ man. Mostly notably, Ness has done this by taking up a perch at Slate, which is known for doling out column inches to people with spotted pasts. Some are wondering today if Bernie Madoff will make the same attempt at public rehabilitation next year, and which outlet will offer him the space from which to do it. Obviously, that outlet is Dealbreaker. We’d be more than happy to give the Ponzier a home up in this piece. But, the question is, what should the column be about? While righting the wrongs of Wall Street and waxing hypocritical about crime and punishment get Spitzer off just fine, we’re thinking Ponzi-boy is sick of finance and is looking to branch out. Since you people will be the ones to read it, what would you like Berns to write about? Sex? Travel? Grab-bag life advice column?

Comments (24)

  1. 1
    Posted by HAM05 | April 20, 2009 at 5:08 PM

    gotta be about boobs

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:09 PM

    Prison marriages?
    Escape plans?
    Philosphy?
    Theology?
    How much happier he is away from Ruth?
    101 uses for vaseline?

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:09 PM

    sex column

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:11 PM

    punternet.com, ie, the sir galahad of the US

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:13 PM

    Judaism, of course.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    OCD housekeeping tips.
    Nice veiled shot at Blodget, BTW. Naughty girl.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:19 PM

    A spotted past is better than spotted underwear.
    ~ Super Quant

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:21 PM

    Beutiful, Sunny Florida. Can you feel it?

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:21 PM

    Does anyone else think he’ll end up like Frank Abignale and end up helping the SEC (or whoever) in finding other Ponzers?

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:25 PM

    jewish mafia will kill him in jail, for sure!

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:29 PM

    punternet.com, ie, the sir galahad of the US

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:31 PM

    How to turn a large fortune into a small fortune

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:39 PM

    Woody Allen

  14. 14
    Posted by Anal_yst | April 20, 2009 at 5:53 PM

    @9
    No, that’d make way too much sense.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 5:57 PM

    Going Muslim?

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 6:07 PM

    http://bernard-madoff-scam.blogspot.com/

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 6:11 PM

    speaking of the madoffs
    http://thereformedbroker.com/2009/04/20/separated-at-birth-ponzi-edition/

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 6:26 PM

    Ethics and morals.

  19. 19
    Posted by wcburrs87 | April 20, 2009 at 6:28 PM

    I believe it should be called “Caged Wisdom”, and be about his reformed spirituality after going behind bars. Faith is a Fact.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 6:43 PM

    @20 – Nice.

  21. 21
    Posted by Novice | April 20, 2009 at 7:16 PM

    Country club etiquette, obv.

  22. 22
    Posted by Joseph di Jersey City | April 20, 2009 at 8:16 PM

    A column called, “You call that ballin’?” in which he mocks various excesses not for their egregiousness but for their small potatoes nature. For each example he points out a similar but much larger one accomplished by himself (and of course how he accomplished it with stolen money people begged him to take and invest).

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | April 20, 2009 at 11:48 PM

    I loved that man, I call him Bubba.

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | May 2, 2009 at 8:48 AM

    How compassionate a liberal he is(as opposed to selfish individualists) and how he made the world a better place.

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.

   or