You know, we were fairly certain that the first time we wrote about octogenarian Ace Greenberg’s sex life (by way of Barbara Walters’ who was also banging Alan Greenspan at the time) was going to be the last. Thanks to Charlie Gasparino, not so! Perhaps taking his Italian deli meats beat a bit too literally, Gasparino’s latest report involves the former Bear Stearns chairman attempting, unsuccessfully, to slip a BSC employee the salami. Sadly, Ace Not In The Hole was unsuccessful, and Jimmy Cayne was forced to pay off the girl to the tune of $2 million.
The allegations, which centered around “inappropriate touching,” according to people with direct knowledge of the matter, didn’t result in a lawsuit. Instead, reeling from the bad press of the firm’s role in the burgeoning financial crisis, Cayne settled the matter with the woman, a much younger employee who worked in sales capacity, and who had initially demanded a much higher payment. The employee also claimed to have had a witness to this behavior. In an interview, the 81-year-old Greenberg said, “I can’t comment on something as ridiculous as this.” When given another opportunity to comment on either the unproven allegations or whether the payment was actually made, Greenberg said, “I’m not going to dignify” the matter with a response. He referred to the entire issue as “bullshit,” and said my sources were “pathological liars.”
Shockingly, JPMorgan, which every day must get down on its knees and thank god it paid the privilege to be saddled with “these people,” declined to comment when Gasparino came a’ calling. Regardless, and not to minimize sexual harassment, can’t we all just come to the conclusion that of course this happened? In his last years at Bear, Greenberg was doing magic tricks and getting broken up over the fact that his puppy wasn’t placing well in dog shows. Which is to say, he was dipping his toe in senility, if not jumping right in, and more than likely thought that stuff like, I don’t know, pinching girls’ asses on the floor still fell under the umbrella of “appropriate” touching, which it was when he first started at the firm, back in 1821.
Earlier: Barbara Walters Has Done 80 Percent Of Wall Street’s Living Dinosaurs
Im not really an LOL type, but exception for this headline. nice work
I serve sliced salami on pizza
A street walker selling cock for rock
At the flea market trying to hock my watch
I stay on beat when I work the concrete
Some honeys give me money, and others do my laundry
Mickey Avalon the kosher salami
For twenty you get Chachi for forty he gets you Fonzie
A motherfucker hustler kamikaze
I use to bust tables but now I sell my body
Gaspacolla is currently taking resumes for a position as his towel boy / fluffer at the Equinox steam room.
oink oink oink
Is Baba Wawa doing The Sage now? Is that why he’s not releasing earning on time?
Berkshire Won’t Issue Earnings This Week
Who does this guy think he is? General Halftrack?
Wouldn’t it be easier to be client #10? And cheaper? What’s the worst that can happen, Ace Greenberg’s reputation is sullied?
He was looking for stolen paper clips.
Doesn’t anyone remember when he and Mrs. Ace donated $1,000,000+ to the Hospital for Special Surgery to pay for Viagra for men who otherwise could not afford it?
Short memories people.
Wow. Thinking of Barbara Walters makes me think of the headline that’s on cnn.com right now: Scientists find oldest ever object in the universe.
For $2mm Bess would be cool with “inappropriate touching” becoming “appropriate touching.” I’m sure the NO bonus crew would be cool with it too. For $2mm you could almost bring back 2006, the greatest year ever.
The Charlie Gasbag Rap
I’m a stud on cable telee
I’m a rogue and I’m a loner
When I look into a mirror
I just give myself a boner.
It’s true my pecs are bigger
Than Maria Bartaromo’s
At the gym I’m a sensation
With the bitches and the homos.
I haven’t had a good idea
Since Bushie was elected
But I oughta be convicted
For the stocks I have selected
Cuz a little inside info
Keeps my Etrade balance healthy
Just a few more years on cable
And I’ll be so goddam wealthy.
$2m for some ass-grabbing? Saleswomen AND men would be begging for that kind of scratch right now.
As far as i am concerned, as a chick, anytime some senile old fuck wants to cop a feel, for $2m, i am willing participant.
Shit for $2 they can cop a double feel.
I am not as young as some, but usually run 5-6 miles a day so still getting an okay return on investment.
@15 – for $2 a double feel? What do I get for ten dollars?
@15 – for $2 a double feel? What do I get for ten dollars?
@15 I guess your a$$ has aged like wine.