Well, this is upsetting. We're big on babies and formalities, so had we known Dick Parsons was having a lovechild with model MacDella Cooper, we would've sent over a nice note and maybe a plush stuffed duck or something, like we've done in the past for all our favorite bank chairmen and CEOs. Now, it's too late, and we look like assholes. This is why we need to be kept abreast of such situations.
A Citi Shareholder Is Born
Posted by Bess Levin, May 22, 2009, 10:53am
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Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:00AM
"...the striking beauty said."
WIDECLOPS
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:02AM
This is why no one likes CITI.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:03AM
@2- why? because their chairman had a kid out of wedlock?
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:03AM
she probably only likes him for his money.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:07AM
"V-a-s-e-c-t-o-m-y"....its for guys who want the strange but don't want the "responsibility".
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:08AM
@2 = Racist. Pure and simple. You should be ashamed of yourself sir.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:11AM
MacDella+Dick=Good McLovin
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:12AM
The sound of Velcro tabs pulled apart comes to mind.
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 22, 2009 11:14AM
@3 - just like the ad says: "citi never sleeps"...I think there was too much bed and not enough sleep!
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:16AM
Dick Parsons is the anti-Christ. Pure and simple.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:17AM
She's a model? Or just a jobless person who needs to look like they have a job? And now she has one! "Check-casher". She is set for life. Trying to imagine sleeping with someone 30 years older (with a wife and kids, yet) is gross.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:18AM
@10- and why would that be?
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:18AM
I feel terrible about what I am thinking.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:18AM
They look uncomfortable. Did Timmay - the-gift-that-keeps-on-giving - enter the room?
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:19AM
He is very unChrist like.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:22AM
VELCROCLOPS
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:22AM
It is the purpose of the male lion to impregnate females, wait for them to kill a wildebeast then eat it first ahead of them, and then to go piss on trees and bushes and sleep for the rest of the day.
Humans are animals as well.
Posted by merkin capital partners , May 22, 2009 11:23AM
Reggie Jackson really himself go.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:24AM
@ 2 OMG you cannot say things like that
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:25AM
It's one thing to cheat on your wife of 30 years. But please - no protection? Knowing that you are a wealthy man, and you're with someone 30 years younger who may get pregnant? You're over 60. You can wait for a condom to go on. JEsus.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:26AM
Michael Moore's still-untitled documentary tackling the causes of the global economic meltdown has been slotted for an Oct. 2 release date.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:29AM
Citi should request Parsons resign from the chairmanship immediately. If he's a shady mofo is his private life, he sure as shit is a shady mofo in his professional life.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:30AM
@22- so completely untrue. Do you have any idea how many hedge fund managers are complete scumbags in their personal lives but by the book professionally? Also, while this sucks for his wife and all, and cheating is fucked up, this isn't exactly "shady" behavior, relatively speaking.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:31AM
Models and Bottles baby! Sorry Dick, you got model and baby bottles. Screwed that up a little didn't you?
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:32AM
Cooper? I hardly knew her!
-DP
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:37AM
@23--Who are these hedge fund managers that operate by the book professionally?
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:38AM
I would have just thrown the baby out with the bathwater.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:41AM
@26- you know what I mean. Having an affair is not grounds for a dismissal. Sorry to the Victorian@22.
Posted by Tax Chick , May 22, 2009 11:43AM
I don't know which is worse: sleeping with Dicky P or going through life named "Winka Dubbeldam"
http://www.wireimage.com/ItemListings.aspx?igi=355987&nbc1=1&VwMd=i
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:48AM
So they guy had a fling and knocked the chick up.....big f'ing deal! Who cares? There are plenty of reasons to smack Parsons around and kick him out of Citi, but this ain't one of them folks.
BTW, Condoms suck which is why Parsons didn't use one! Now he'll have to pay....poor baby.....I think he can spare a bit.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:49AM
Damn you, Lady GaGa and your infectious grooves...
Richard Parsons
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:50AM
Dollars to donuts this made the Daily News because MacDella didn't get what she wanted.
If you think having a love child, setting up a large educational trust and more than likely paying for living/medical expenses for your back door lady without telling your spouse isn't shady as hell.....
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:51AM
NFL players have what they call a "Bitch Fund" to handle such matters.
~Jerry McGuire
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:52AM
@30- did DB shame him, or really even make a big deal out of it at all? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:55AM
What else do I have to do to be considered "shady"? Do I have to CHOKE a bitch?
-DP
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:56AM
Did you know that his wife's maiden name is Laura Bush? I've seen poorly edited stories that say things like "In college he dated Laura Bush.."
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 11:59AM
70% of black births are out of wedlock...
You guys sound as surprised as if i said the Kentucky Derby was a Unicorn race.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:00PM
Never have I ever had a love child named Labeefa.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:01PM
The thinness of this guy's resume has always amazed me. U Hawaii, Rockefeller staff guy. Then president of Dime Savings Bank (or was it Bowery) when it hit hard times - basically a political appointment. My impression is that he floats around while other people that are doing the heavy lifting (strategy development, for one). Basically a political animal, possibly useful in a regulated industry. Your thoughts?
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:02PM
@37: I know you were making an out-there point, but I actually think that is kinda important. If Obama is setting an example of someone to look up to, I believe Dick Parsons, as a visible member of the black community, needs to hold himself to a high standard.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:03PM
@37...I thought "Unicorn" was an ethanol producer!!!
~The Forehead Slapper
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:04PM
White people are more perfecter.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:06PM
#31 - nice
Posted by Tax Chick , May 22, 2009 12:21PM
Dick: the other white meat
Bess can spank me if I've crossed the line - and yes, I know you boys would like that.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:22PM
@ 39
Spot on. His life is depicted on the cartoon program, "South Park," as well. I will let you guess which character he plays.
Ask yourself the obvious question: would he be where he is if he were not darker than the rest of his GOP brethren?
A black Republican? Jesus, people, get this guy a license to do nothing for the rest of his life, STAT!
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:25PM
@38, that is not a real name.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:26PM
@ 39, @ 45. Really, the same can be said for our President.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:27PM
@47- the same can be said for our president? actually, no, it can't. he was a corporate lawyer and a senator. sorry he didn't have a bunch of jobs in business that he failed at, like your buddy bushy.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 12:28PM
39, its was Dime....
It merged with Anchor Savings and then he catapulted up with the run-up with other underwhelming FIG CEOs
Being an S&L CEO in the early 90s wa s like running a prison...few did it, till they realized they could ride it to bank land and fortune 50 CEO land
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 22, 2009 12:47PM
@37 - sad but true (see page 61 table 20).
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr56/nvsr56_06.pdf
that said, the stats do not indicate whether or not (a) the father lives with the baby's momma; (b) the baby's daddy is married to someone other than the baby's momma; or, (c) baby's momma is a trick b1tch...just sayin'.
@40 - ever hear of a guy named jessie jackson? just askin'...
perhaps this is why spitz paid for it?
looking at the income gap btwn whites and blacks is it possible that the discrepancy btwn births out of wedlock for whites is less than half that of blacks because they have the means to pay for pros? discuss...
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 1:02PM
@ 48. You can't be serious.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 1:05PM
In that headshot photo she looks like Gary Coleman in drag.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 1:08PM
@ 50
I want a thread discussing pros/cons of legalized prostitution. That said, I vote yes.
STD rates drop, streets cleaned up a bit, fewer children out of wedlock and a new source of tax revenue.
Next week: Weed
-Nominate me
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 1:15PM
I hope he got a pre-shtup.....
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 1:17PM
Someone should also point out in the, "we are not going to broach the subject," how it would go over if any white board members at financial institutions get caught knocking up girls half their age that they are not married to?
He can get away with it because he is black, otherwise he would be a pariah, and everyone knows it.
My main issue is how stupid he is. Michael Jordan allegedly has a couple of kids, and loved the strange when he was married, but he was always smart enough to keep it quiet, publicly. Yeah, he paid for it in the divorce settlement, but he has been nailing women other than his wife for years, allegedly.
I never thought I would see the day that Michael Jordan was smarter than Dick Parsons.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 1:24PM
@55- considering that the kid was born last august, and that he was banging her before that, it has been kept quiet (til now).
Posted by Anal_yst , May 22, 2009 1:40PM
@53/Nominate me
While I 100% support your cause, I 100% doubt it'll happen, at least not in the USA, and not in my lifetime*
*pending success of stem-cell treatments to regrow internal organs
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 1:42PM
@52 - Outstanding resemblance. Well Done!
Posted by HeadlessHorseman , May 22, 2009 2:24PM
@ 52
"Whatchoo talkin 'bout Willis?"
Nicely played!
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 3:00PM
What is a she a model for? Shovelface makeup?
And Dick, seriously. 2 words: Facial.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 3:19PM
Bess,
Does DB even have African American readers? Surprised there hasn't been a whole storm about affirmative action / retributions / etc.
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 3:20PM
Did anyone read that GQ article about Mandingo's...amazing
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 3:23PM
Now you guys know why Parsons didn't get a job with Obama. Not that he wanted it (he's a Republican) but he was considered for a little while.
Posted by PatrickBateman , May 22, 2009 3:41PM
The irony is killing me....she runs a charity for children that are orphaned and abandoned and then sleeps with a married man that has kids.
WTF is she thinking?
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 4:11PM
Some role model; reminds me of Bill Cosby, too.
Makes one nostalgic for the days of Chuck Prince...at least he was in love with his wife and faithful!
Same for John Reed.
This guy is a s--mbag and deserves to be out on his ear...who does he think he is, Wm. Lauder???
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 6:31PM
(Citi employee here) The ranks loathe Parsons. He is a typical "waste of time and space political executive" one finds in a bloated organization, nothing to do with his skin color, everything to do with his incompetence. Others like him that immediately come to mind and have since been shown the door include Rubin and Binschoff. This is a gimme for Vikky and hopefully the little man can parlay the situation into giving Dick the boot so that, in the end, this is a good thing for everyone (employees happy, better leadership, Parsons can spend more time with his multiple families, etc.)
Posted by guest , May 22, 2009 7:24PM
@65- PLEASE tell me that was sarcasm. you long for chuck prince, the guy responsible for taking citi to the brink, because he loved his wife? you are a retard of monumental proportions.
Posted by Investorcluzo , May 22, 2009 8:30PM
@61 - you must be new to this site or perhaps your sarcasm escapes me. in any event, we don't all drop the "race" card at the drop of a hat as you like to think. glad to see we've relieved you of at least one stereotype you've been harboring.
Posted by guest , May 23, 2009 3:50AM
what's with the racism here? Damn Dick, couldn't you have at least jeopardized your marriage and career with a cuter chick? Ms. Cooper is a rough looking broad laughing all the way to bank!
Posted by guest , May 23, 2009 9:10AM
Dick Parsons hates white models.
- White Kanye West
Posted by guest , May 23, 2009 9:21AM
What people dont know is that Dick is seriously connected - He's a Rockefeller flunky like Kissinger. His dad was a janitor/groundskeeper on the Rockefeller estate and He owes his entire career to Nelson Rockefeller -his mentor. He sits on the five man committe that oversees the Rockefeller family fortune.
With those kind of connections - resume is irrelevant. He's one of those black guys who goes very far because he has a gift for making white people fell comfortable.
He's cuddly looking - like a big teddy bear
He's non threatening - he has no strong opinion on anything ever
He's black. but not too dark skinned
- think Ken Chenault, Stanley O'neill, Barack Obama. (The difference is that all these guys are vastly more talented than Dick and far superior resumes ...despite Stanley's latest gaffe)
Dick - connected, do nothing exec
Posted by guest , May 23, 2009 9:24AM
Ken Chenault, Stanley Oneioll Barack Obama - dont forget Colin Powell
except all those guy are/were talented
Posted by guest , May 25, 2009 12:33PM
@ 6
Sleeping with a guy who is 3x older than you are, with a wife and kids is that racist?
Honestly, if he wasn't a CITI Chairman, who would care sleeping with him?
Posted by guest , May 25, 2009 12:43PM
IT ALL COMES DOWN TO CHILD SUPPORT($$$$) AND PAYMENT (ANOTHER $SSSS) TO MAKE IT JUST A LOW PROFILE AFFAIR.
You don't have worry to look for job with that. With modelling as a career, it's highly competitive and so much pressure to stay in good shape.
Posted by guest , May 25, 2009 12:46PM
While Citi's share was dropping to 3, the Dick is making a baby!
Posted by guest , May 25, 2009 12:50PM
Not because she is from Liberia (they are nice people) , I'm just afraid to give my $1 million to her charity.
Posted by guest , May 26, 2009 12:57AM
Welcome to the club of Mel Gibson, Sean Penn and Bruce Willis with their 20 something new babes!
Posted by guest , May 26, 2009 10:33AM
# 71 - Rockefellers? You sure it wasn't the Rothchilds?? Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows. They are the Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, the Rothschilds, and Colonel Sanders before he went tets-up. Oh, I hated the Colonel with is wee beady eyes! And that smug look on his face, "Oh, you're gonna buy my chicken! Ohhhhh!"
Posted by guest , Jun 16, 2009 10:21AM
Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his vasectomy?
"Cuz if Im gonna BE IMPOTENT I WANNA LOOK IMPOTANT!"