Supposedly, according to the author of yet another new book* on the various ways in the wives of men who once had money are being forced to demean themselves, through no fault of their own but due to unprecedented upheaval of the capital markets. In-depth research by Tatiana Boncampagni, whose tome Hedge Fund Wives is out tomorrow, has revealed that many wives of “have become sudden acolytes of internet shopping and J Crew; and black blazers, white blouses, and two-toned ballet flats are proliferating.” Mrs. Heather Mnuchin (husband is Dune Capital chairman Steve) isn’t wearing flashy jewelry out in public. Clo Cohen is no longer getting off on spending meal ticket Charles’s money (“The economy is on everybody’s minds – all my girlfriends say that shopping just doesn’t even appeal to them right now,” says Cohen). Since their sponsors are likely going to be putting even longer hours at the office now than at the height of the most magnificent credit and liquidity bubble in the entirety of our financial civilization, if you see one of these women on the street (or on the subway, since, sickeningly, that’s happening), stop and offer a helping hand. They’re gonna need it.
*Is there anything more annoying that the pop-cultureification of hedge funds, and to that end, the new literary genre that is Hedge Fund wives, who aren’t even really the wives of hedge fund managers, or at least the ones we want to hear from? (Come and knock on our door, Alex, Anne, Mrs. ESL. We’re very good listeners.)
Are Hedge Fund Wives Slumming It In J.Crew, No Longer Getting Turned On By Shopping?
By Equity PrivateComments (52)
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
Bess, I love you and want you to have my babies…. all 27 of them.
I bet hedge fund wives are like NASCAR wives. They are used to seeing their husbands rescued from dramatic crashes.
stupid bitches
Maybe if they didnt make money and just printed it they would be in a better situation
This cartoon-faced bitch on cnbc is terrible.
i hate these women
whores
I wonder if these wives put out more or less in these times? with whom? discuss
Hey!…the hedge fund wives didn’t get an “owner’s manual” when they married their husbands.
Disclosure: I am long hedge fund divorcee’ futures. (Symbol “EFFD” on the Comex.)
Heather M is very attractive.
- Not Steve
hos is right. go back to jersey…
@8- re: “with whom,” per bess’s suggestion to offer a helping hand while their husband’s are at the office trying to make it back, I’d say other men.
@8 my wife doesn’t put out at all. I’m seriously considering getting a newer model.
@8- the highest bidder
@9, hilarious. Well done
This has nothing to do with HF wives ( it is more a whore story ). A bunch of years ago random women would regularly try cashing checks for a few thousand dollars from then actor Tom Sizemore but the checks had been cancelled minutes before. Dude gave hookers a check and then cancelled it while they were on the way to the bank.
-true story
So HF wives need to call up Tom he will take care of them.
@16 “This has nothing to do with HF wives”
yeah, that was pointed out in the post, champ.
These bitches have Strong Island written all over them. I would still probably pound them in the ass.
@16….old trick. Read up on Jack Ruby’s girls at the Carousel Club in Dallas. They used to get caught in that scam all the time. Mr. Ruby “sorted” it out for them.
Could be that J. Crew is just marketing well. Less flash at good prices = perfect for these tough times. See the catalog. The message is that you can be one of these guys or girls by simply buying these clothes. And who wouldn’t want to be: all attractive, slim, cool, looking like they’re having fun at the beach, in the country, everywhere.
19 By killing LHO?
@20- haha, yes, it has nothing to do with the fact that these women’s husband’s firms are in the toilet.
thanks JCrew rep@20.
J Crew = Nassau County
i know one of the women mentioned is pretty low-key to begin with, definitely isn’t from the guy’land, and her husband is hardly a hedge fund manager
book sounds pretty jason blair to me
I went to Dalton.
Suck on my prestige, bitches.
@seaman- it’s not made, up, it’s just going to claim to be about “hedge fund wives” when in actuality it’ll be “day trader wives.”
@21: Former drummer at the Carousel during “that period” now runs a Confederate States club in the Dallas area and sells publicity stills of some of the former dancers at the Carousel. He said LHO was in the club many times and that LHO brought his wife Martina in frequently because he wanted her to consider working as a dancer (she never did) because they needed a car and LHO didn’t know how to drive. All kinds of legends like that in the area.
yeah seaman, like anyone mentioned would include you, a redneck white wing racist homophobic nutbag in their social circle.
“i know one of the women mentioned” = I’ve read about her husband online.
@26
Go Forth Unfraid
22 A little of that but more importantly its now not cool to be flashy. I know of more than one party/customer event that’s been cancelled and not because of the cost (which was totally reasonable and justifiable), but cause of how it would look. The J. Crew thing is similar. They used to be all about barn jackets and baggy khakis. Now they have stores on 79/Mad for women and on West Bwy for men that sell very cool clothes for less. Perfect for the times.
@29
thanks!
even though you’re a bit off in your discounting my ability to come across as a tight-ass fag from volvo land, it is true that i am all those thing you said
I am J. Crew. This is all totally true.
-phobos.
When can we expect the TLC reality show?
@24 – Suffolk county people have a certain ‘charm’ about them. Yummy. Nassau.. not so much.
-mrp
I grew up in Merrick.
36 Huh? Suffolk is very diverse. Its Huntington Harbor (sailboats), Mastic/Shirley (white trash), Ronkonkoma (illegals), East Hampton (no explanation necessary), Ridge (retirement communities), etc.
@38 – nothing bad about Suffolk… I like Stony Brook/S. Setauket and Cold Spring Harbor. And the people are rather charming.
I’ll have to take a spin through Mastic..
-mrp
What about Hempstead and Snatch Island?
I take my private motor coach to Bridgehampton every weekend.
The Dalton Chap
39 Mr. P: and how can we forget: Fire Island Pines and to a lesser extent (unless you have dyke tendencies) Cherry Grove.
Nassau county is nice,, suffolk is a hellhole(besides Hamptons)
J.Crew is such a boring store. How is it cheap? They basically sell Gap quality clothing at a 40% markup.
The problem is that all clothing is Gap quality. They make Prada bags in China, Thos Pink shirts in Mauritius (sp?). In this new world things are distinguished by style. Crew is in that regard different. Its having its moment lately.
43: Better double bag it around certain parts of Nassau!
42: Yes Yes.. The Pines! Memories!.. Love the nature trail between the two as well!
back on topic… people are going to J. Crew because Mrs. BHO is flashing the fabrics! Everyone wants to look like her now! It’s a fad, it’ll wear off by the end of the year…
-mrp
Is there somewhere I should be sending my catalog?
J Peterman
J. Crew is way better than G-Unit.
@41, you go to NU?
I want to Tatiana her Boncampagni with Mrs Mnuchin
@10, You beat me to it… HM, is a worthy asset, I’d go long
@ 40 – Snatch Island? There’s a stretch of Jones’ forever known as “Snatch Beach”, but never heard of “Snatch Island”.
There is a “Succulent Island” in Northport Harbor…