• 28 May 2009 at 2:30 PM

Carlyle To Suck It (Natashas To Saturate Available Credit)

By Equity Private

suckit.jpgThe Vuitton, Versace, Gucci, and Dior bags will have to wait, or slip into a slipping revolver, we suspect, as Carlyle group finally admits it got tagged. Takes a lot for a private equity firm to admit to such things without lots of excuses about being on the left side of the “J curve.” We’re thinking short-luxury-goods just became an (even more) interesting trade.

“After several years of unprecedented growth, product innovation, geographic expansion, capital deployment and investment gains, our world changed dramatically,” the Washington-based firm said in its annual report on its Web site today. “2008 was a humbling experience for us.”

Carlyle Says Returns to Shrink After ‘Humbling’ Year for Firm [Bloomberg]

Comments (27)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 2:38 PM

    That bitch was such a new money train wreck

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 2:44 PM

    I once had an interview there and didn’t make the cut. Color me one happy parvenu today, though.

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 2:46 PM

    Private equity’s returns are contracting while here is an investment opportunity that will expand:
    http://farmlandforecast.colvin-co.com

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    I’ve already (basically) got a position secured at a top PE firm (I would have gone with Carlyle if I had realized that had such foxes), and I’m getting 800’s on all my practice GMATs. I’m not in at HBS just yet, but hey, at least I’m not Muslim, right?

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 2:50 PM

    Anyone have an update on if this curry princess really made it into HBS?

  6. 6
    Posted by Lowly Assistant | May 28, 2009 at 2:54 PM

    I never understood why she was carrying an anchor. It’s New York…you probably won’t float away.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 2:54 PM

    Whoa!
    @4:
    Your bigotry and racism will come back to haunt you one day, you sick piece of doodoo.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    @7 Calm down Mohamed.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:03 PM

    is it hard to get an 800 on your GMAT?

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:04 PM

    i don’t know, i’m asking.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:07 PM

    Isn’t that the private equity firm Bush is involved with? Couldn’t have happened to better people.

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:09 PM

    @7 it’s a line from the blog Leveraged Sellout dumbass

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:13 PM

    @7 Settle down Francismoud!

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:14 PM

    @11… Go peddle Michael Moore somewhere else. That is just dumb.

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:28 PM

    Tim Tebow could be banging anyone of us right now and we might never know it. Creepy.

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    Well, I mean, I can’t exactly see her from behind that huge ass duffel bag and those snowboarding goggles, but from what I can distinguish of her face, it looks like the $15k you invested in electrolysis has served its purpose (and with limited scarring — nice work!).

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:39 PM

    Indian girls age about as well as Slavic ones.
    Rent, yes
    Buy, no.

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 3:44 PM

    @5 – yes, I have a friend at HBS who is a year behind her but said he has seen her a few times.

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 4:07 PM

    Mohammed liked to have sex to with 8 girl old girls.
    He was also a closet gay guy.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 4:10 PM

    Considering how big her sunglass case must be, a smaller purse might not have been an option.

  21. 21
    Posted by wcburrs87 | May 28, 2009 at 4:12 PM

    The bigger the glasses the uglier the broad.

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 4:13 PM

    can someone provide a link, or at least more context behind the picture/seemingly offensive comments?

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 4:15 PM

    Loved the SemGroup comment in the report. Big shot fucking hedge fund Carlyle doesn’t know a hick oil trader is trading their SemGroup investment into a hole? Go figure!

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 4:33 PM

    @22
    http://nymag.com/fashion/lookbook/32096/
    http://www.leveragedsellout.com/2007/05/fwd-a-suitable-girl/
    The context should explain the Muslim comment.

  25. 25
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 8:45 PM

    Gawd I miss LSO!

  26. 26
    Posted by guest | May 28, 2009 at 9:41 PM

    She has a nasty face. Not attractive.

  27. 27
    Posted by trojan | May 29, 2009 at 2:38 AM

    don’t trust girls with the hair poof… if its not olivia wilde you’re going to get fucked and not in the prom night house party way

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