The exchange, conducted via SMS, will look familiar to anyone with a passing familiarity with the social pollution left behind by the MySpace generation:
All you do is lie. It isn’t registered to you so call again. I wish you died when you fell off the roof. If ur not married good. He can do soooo much better.
LOL. I’m sure he is really good. You will need him because az allows us to call the car in stolen. Please send him this, you are fucked!
No you didn’t or you would be so stupid. Do you actually think you get a free car? Are you that fucking retarded. You are just a loser. Don’t text me.
Broken relationship? Family favor gone bad? Psychotic girlfriend? Psychotic boyfriend? No. Debt collector.
…the relentless text message campaign of shame began. On the other side of the phone was someone identifying himself as AFN President Michael Fischer, who started, innocently enough, by (allegedly) imploring Dicks to “Call me.” Gradually he became more desperate. Here are some (alleged) highlights from the dozens of texts quoted in the complaint, which accuses AFN of a litany of charges including consumer fraud, invasion of privacy and defamation….
The United States is presently slipping into a deep bi-polar state when it comes to debt, debtors and debt collectors. This is unsurprising. From the President right on down to the delinquent home-owner, the trend is that creditors are increasingly treated like evil villains, debtors like victims and securities laws, bankruptcy priorities and regulations that would tend to establish means for creditors to actually recovered sums owed them as inconvenient and out-of-date anachronisms not compatible with the new, progressive society currently being constructed. Senior creditors are greedy obstructionists for not simply forgiving Chrysler so it can fulfill its destiny: pour billions of taxpayer dollars into the Detroit tar pits and employ union workers indefinitely.
The process seems to work like this:
Borrow from the government or you aren’t patriotic.
You government borrowers, you are scum. As long as you have our money we own you.
Pay it back? Forget it. That’s treason.
In the confusion, is it any wonder that the likes of AFN represent the vanguard of the creditor backlash? AFN seems to have missed the nuance though. We can only demonize debtors when they have borrowed government cash. And then, only after they have borrowed it.
Unfortunately, when you create a system that prevents all civil means of recovery, you end up with criminals for debt collectors. This means that lunatics like those that seem to be working over at AFN are going to fan the flames. No doubt a wave of counter-counterrevolutionary consumer protection laws will fly through Congress. No doubt this will spike interest rates, that is, until counter-counter-counter-counterrevolutionary measures are taken and interest rate caps are instituted.
America! Fuck yeah!
The “Fatal Attraction” Method Of Debt Collection [TPM]
too long even for 09
Shiimy Shimmy Ya
-Dirt McGirt
and 8269 at the close!
EP — i think you need another 150-200 words.
Jesus, EP. Climb. Down. Off. The. Ledge.
There was an interesting story in there, before you went batshit End-of-Days-Conspiracy-Theory crazy on it.
Take a walk. Get some fresh air.
Seriously, you’re going to blow out your O-ring writing like this. It’s only a silly Wall Street gossip website.
WTF.
“Posted by guest, May 01, 2009 2:27PM
EP — i think you need another 150-200 words.”
Just copy-paste “America! Fuck Yeah!” until you are happy.
…and fuck yeah, Canada!
“It’s only a silly Wall Street gossip website.”
that you read and comment on.
Mens watches:
Cartier or Omega?
\
discuss
Whatevs, bitches. Thought it was a good piece.
No ones trading everyone left for the derby can we start drinking yet? PLEASE
Don’t be hataz
Is that Adam Sandler?
“Business bad? Fuck you, pay me. Oh, you had a fire? Fuck you, pay me. Place got hit by lightning huh? Fuck you, pay me.”
- Henry Hill
Patek Philipe or nothing.
Jefferies Trader, bitches!
CFA or MBA?
Voltron or Transformers?
Maryanne or Ginger?
EP or Bess?
Liz or Erin?
The A or the V?
Mess or Gretz?
Wonderwoman or Batgirl?
Brazilian or Bald?
The V or the A?
XLF or UYG?
Seinfeld of Curb?
Goodfellas or Rez Dogs?
Brooks or Red?
Blumpkin or Tijuana Crimescene?
discuss amongst yourselves
“There was an interesting story in there, before you went batshit End-of-Days-Conspiracy-Theory crazy on it.”
So, you see no current legislative initiatives to reduce creditors rights? To limit interest rates? To make debt collection more difficult?
You see no political pressure being applied to get lenders to drop legitimate claims?
You detect no machinations to blame a few “speculators” for forcing Chrysler into bankruptcy when they had to go anyhow to get the dealers in line and pull Fiat in?
Insofar as crazy is being unable to see what is right in front of your nose, I’d say it was you who is batshit crazy.
The V or the A?
Both, fosnizzles.
EP lets head to a bar and get totally buttfaced
A$ne$$ is the only one that is bat shit crazy around these here parts.
Hey, you know what they say: see a broad to get dat booty yak ‘em…leg ‘er down a smack ‘em yak ‘em!
Walter Noel
@16- brazillian IS bald you moron
EP has an uncanny knack for taking articles and making them entirely incoherent. I don’t have the patience to read 50 articles per day so I like them summed up on DB. With EP I find myself reading every article she posts about because I know there is a story in there somewhere – I just have no idea what it is.
EP – pretend like you’re twittering and keep it to 150 words.
- 2StopShop
When is it ok to bang my secretary in her ass?
“With EP I find myself reading every article she posts about because I know there is a story in there somewhere – I just have no idea what it is.”
Mission accomplished.
Before the day runs out, may TGFD take this opportunity to remind everyone that today is the first of May, and may I also share with you one of TGFD’s all-time favorite songs, The BeeGee’s 40-year-old “First of May” from 1969. It’s very nice. You may like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gewTWM6fH0
Mrs. TGFD and I have played this song and danced together every year for the past 24 years. Today will be no exception to that tradition.
The Guy from Delaware
My father finished me with urine and I like CnBC …
Please discuss
WHAT IS A TIJUANA CRIMESCENE. I must know, it sounds dirty.
@9
Dress or casual? Primary watch or what?
At least here in Texas they still know how to conduct business with a little honor and dignity.
I really want to look up Tijuana Crimescene but I am sure it will get me fired.
@26 = not TGFD
sorry but no banana for you!
- not [not TGFD]
@ 22- a brazilian wax is a thin strip. bald is bald. perhaps when you encounter your first vagina one day (besides your mom’s crusty hatchet wound) you will now be able to tell the difference. Please kill yourself immed. Tnx.
- your mom’s crusty hatchet wound
@29 – Maybe both. My bonus is burning a hole in my pocket.
@ 9
Omega I feel bad for you … Are you trying to be the king of Dyker beach golf course?
Have you ever heard of Patek or Breguet?
Please discuss
@33- nope. wrong. try again.
@ 32 – Thank God! I thought my hommie, TGFD, wimped out on me.
The Other Guy from Delaware
@9 Cartier has the prestige name, but aweful style, especially for men. Someone needs to tell them it’s not 2003 anymore and they need to let it go. Omega has some of the style but no prestige. I wouldn’t even consider the Omega, and frankly Cartier is just aweful if you are male. Either do more research, or just get a Rolex (though that really is so uninspired) Just an fyi, dont get a Movado if you are straight and live in NYC. As always if you want it all, prestige, craftsmanship, and style, go with a Patek
I would go with a rose gold Bulgari.
Baby G-Shock.
I wear nothing else.
@39 Dennis K. get out of this body
off topic, but WTF is the Quickster wearing today? Early American Frump?
@38 Maria B. get out of this body (you can keep the oui oui)
What is a Tijuana Crimescene? It sounds awesome.
BTW, EP, screw the haters… It’t their defeatest attitude that will enable the counter-counter-revolutionaries.
Dow close below 8100
What are TGFD’s thoughts on the social security reform?
TGFD is probably collecting…
@42, She is wearing a fresh helping of my gooey DNA all over, in, under, and on her filthy filthy twatfish.
Omega.
i hate earnings season
@38 — The Rolexes I looked at were all butt ugly. What do you think about an Audemars Piguet?
Can you be cheap and still have good taste
please discuss
@9 — Tell what store you are shopping at and I will meet you there, help you pick out a watch, and then beat with a sack of quarters and take said watch.
Go back to Dallas.
Guest@#32 & TOGFD@#37…
#26 is TGFD, and liking a song doesn’t “wimp-out” TGFD at all.
Have you forgotten TGFD’s magnetism that attracts those “chicks of all ages”? There are reasons for that besides just my looks, you know.
The Guy from Delaware
standard or “the stranger”?
I agree. Earning season sucks.
With our deepest thanks and regards to the folks @ Urban Dictionary.
Tijuana crime scene:
This occurs when guy that is t*tty f@cking a girl sh*ts on her chest just before he cums… he continues to trust back and forth getting the cum and sh*t all over…. ie a big mess. There can be numerous variations to this
EX: When I was done with Jane she looked like a Tijuana crime scene. Then she made me dinner. What a dumb b*tch!
- the guy who just knows @22 sniffs his moms panties.
I prefer the Bolshevik Vaginalobster, myself.
@56, thank you!
@56, who doesn’t?
EP, such a typical woman. Why don’t you write another epic about how unfair courts of equity are in awarding divorce settlements?
Timex or a Sundial necklace?
Pearl Necklace or Dirty Sanchez?
Guests@#46/#47…
In 20 months, TGFD will be 62, and I plan to collect Soc Sec then, but if the missiah gets his way, who knows?
If they extend the minimum, or if they institute means-testing, TGFD may not be able to collect then.
That’s TGFD’s position on Soc Sec.
The Guy from Delaware
rolex exploer II white dial…understated and classy can be both casual and formal…i have one and ill never wear another watch
@63 redneck
@63
Thanks for letting me crash last night.
sorry I banged ur little brother
@63 – Der terk errr jerrrbs
@60- would you say the hedge fund holdouts are acting like “typical women”?
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com check er out
What are the numbers for 7th year lazy, mansion-dwelling sales homos?
@69 Yeah, more like gold-digging hoes: They know how the game is played and you’ve got to respect that.
@68, turd burglar?
turd burglar or turd ferguson?
@38
Agreed re:Cartier, but I’m thinking legitimately about picking up a Omega Seamaster Planet Ocean (instead of the Rolex, despite it being a great watch, its a bit cliche and quite common, no?).
Wouldn’t mind a Jaeger LeCoultre, but not ready to drop that or Patek bank on a timepiece (yet).
Anal_yst:
I don’t want to sound like I’m from Iowa, but just buy one good watch. Guys that constantly switch watches are suspect.
@ Anal_yst
The Omega looks a bit knock-offish to me. If you like the rolex look, you’ve got to get the real thing.
Rolexes look fake whether they are the real thing or not.
77,
I bought one from the pirate on Lafayette and Canal. Fire sale.
Why would you waste your money on this shite. Watches are ridiculous, and look stupid on men. Check the fucking time on your bberry, put on a helmet, and move the fuck on.
80, My watch is very important to me.
My dad gave me this watch. The way he looked at it, this watch was my birthright. He’d be damned if any slopes was gonna put their greasy, yellow hands on his my birthright, so he hid, it in the one place he knew he could hide something, his ass.
Cowbells are very important to me.
ab@#82…
“Cowbells are very important to me.”
Let TGFD guess. They’re important because their sound helps you to locate the heifers in the dark as you go about “freshening” them.
The Guy from Delaware
TGFD – Don’t tell #82 all of our family cow-tipping secrets, ok?
The Other Guy from Delaware
I like watches. Blackberries are for fags.
“America, fuck yeah!”
written by a non-native American
http://www.caseypedia.com/wiki/LossMitPro
“Posted by guest, May 01, 2009 3:37PM
EP, such a typical woman. Why don’t you write another epic about how unfair courts of equity are in awarding divorce settlements?”
Actually, though I realize this was just a poorly executed attempt at sarcasm here, I agree entirely with your premise. The United States has systematically fleeced men in divorce proceedings for decades under the thin pretense that women are entitled to be “kept in the style to which they have grown accustomed,” or that the contribution of the wife to a man’s career by “lightening the load” of domestic affairs and “supporting him during the crucial earnings years of his profession” somehow vests in said women a one half interest in the gains he experiences in that period.
Where I come from “sweat equity” for the _entire management team_ tops off at 20-25% of common, and that is both restricted, subject to a cliff, multi-year vesting and future dilution.
“Posted by guest, May 01, 2009 7:50PM
“America, fuck yeah!”
written by a non-native American”
My passport is just as blue as yours, Billy-Joe-Bob.
love it or leave it EP. this is ARE country!