We find ourselves wishing there was a word in English for that feeling you get when you read an article confirming the details of a bit of news- probably bad- you were already expecting. It’s that sort of sinking “Uh… wow.” that represents the sudden realization that, though you were prepared for the news, it is now more “real.” What is that word? As you know from our “Bank of America needs $34 billion” announcement yesterday, there is now at least a temporary answer: “Boaed.”
Henceforth– Boaed (“bow-uh’d“): The forced realization of the shocking magnitude of an event or occurrence that, while expected or already making rounds on the rumor circuit, only reaches the pinnacle of its emotional impact once reported through mainstream channels or experienced first-hand.
The real question, however, is how will the market receive this “news.” Given that there is no better place to find the answers to these questions than our comment section, we leave it to you. BAC closed at $10.84. Where does this take us, dear readers? Where will BAC open? More importantly, where will BAC close? $15.00? $1.50?
9:45 am Update: BAC: $11.58 +$0.74 +6.83%
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- Use the Bloomberg command
NH BLG_DEALBREAKER <GO>
to access Dealbreaker
BAC to square $1
News is Bullish!
BAC closes @ > $20/shr
S&P @ 1000 by the end of the week
Next week: The Crash that prompts BO to close down the markets!
yay!!!!!!!
-TGFH
(The Guy From Houston)
Short the sucker
naked short the sucker
@2
don’t do drugs
7.68
This will propel the market upward. It’ll be another “this is the bottom” moment people use in justifying putting their enormous piles of cash to work.
Mr. Bob Barker, I’m gonna say 5 billion dollars!
-Maxine
@3,4 Try an ice pack for that sore ass
They do a 1 for 100 stock split and then piggy back a secondary.
When I first heard $34B I thought they were talking about the GDP of North Carolina.
@9
ok Ken, thanks Ken.
When I first heard $34B I thought they were talking about the ytd trading profit of Tim Sykes.
When I first heard $34B I thought they were talking about Chuck Norris bank account.
When I first heard $34B I thought they were talking about the Schwarzman’s crab-leg bill.
Ken Lewis is also a big fan of massage parlours.
Open: $11.17
Close: $9.76
When I first heard $34B I thought they were talking about Obama’s daily value creation.
okay, I’m going out on a limb here, but $12.04 in the pre-market is luda!
When I first heard $34B I thought they were talking about Spitzer’s spend on ho’s.
When I first heard 34B I thought they were talking about Erin Burnett.
Big Ken’s mug on seekingalpha.com right now is much more hilarious.
I love Charlotte. My favorite place hands down is the Billy Graham Library.
http://www.billygraham.org/BGLibrary_Index.ASP
don’t call me dude, dude!
@5
Thanks for the advice. It’s hard out here for a pimp!
@ 21 FTW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Didn’t BSC trade at $52 in pre-open when the Fed announced the 30-day emergency loans?
Jared Bernstein…i hope they lay you next to your beloved Hoffa.
@2 – are you trying to make friends by following in the footsteps of TGFD? just askin’…
will not go to seeking alpha, will not go.. don’t do it… don’t … that is what they want you to do… Resist… don’t do it! ahhhhhh… I gotta check it out!! dammit!…… pretty funny actually,,, worth it!
Its totally ok – Merrill and Countrywide were totally awesome ideas, you’ll see!
Still waiting for the CNBC reality TV show on ‘A Day In The Life of Angelo Mozilo’ similar to ‘The Kardashians’ etc.
How does a bank need 34 billion?
Thats like saying I lost my money because the dog ate it.
What does Jim Kramer think? This ought to be a riot.
@33
jim kramer doesn’t think
@EP- Stop trying to make “fetch” happen. It’s not going to happen.
“Goldman upgrades B. of A. to outperform.”
“Goldman Sachs raises US bank sector to attractive”
I’m sold. After I invest my life savings in BAC & C I’m gonna go down to Route 46 and buy myself a Pontiac.
@ InvestoCluzo
Yes. I am. Quite frankly, I romance the idea of writing for DealBreaker.
-TGFH
“The new normal??”
@2, 37, C’mon man, I’m from Houston. Don’t do that.
Nothing is boaed? The god damend plane has crashed into the mountain!
@39
The more you say no the more I hear yes.
@39 – I’m from houston too…perhaps TGFH is a transplant.
Cluzo & TGFHouston…
TGFD believes that TGFH is taking the proper approach to posting on DB. Soon he will have many friends and possibly many detractors too, just as I do.
As for the BAC $34B, TGFD doesn’t know what to think. Up 84c @ 11.68 as I write this.
The Guy from Delaware
@42, or at least from OTL
@7 – you are exactly right.
@21 – FTW!
@43
you have no friends. you are the most annoying retard since screech from sbtb.
@46 TGFD is a total idiot most of the time but I have to say anyone who refers to that show using its initials “SBTB” needs to shampoo my crotch.
-DB regular
@46 – I can honestly say that I rarely agree with anything that old balls from Delaware ever says. He is consistently condescending, noticeably more supportive of the pinkos than any other regular commenter and generally speaking someone who I would not let near my kids.
That said, he is knowledgeable and not completely full of s—. The great thing about DB is that it is a niche forum where people can opine on finance with other knowledgeable parties. If you don’t know your s— then back to yahoo, if you do then spout off, defend your opinions and gather support. Let TGFD play ball and knock down his argument, but hate without a supporting argument is unwarranted.
@47 – Eh Einstein I think that was a wordplay on TGFD.. Good luck with rthe itch..
- Not 46
The pre-mkt movement of BAC was the damnedest thing… BAC trades at high $9s pre-8am… Then Liesman gets on tube c. 8am, starts reading his cliff notes written by Bernanke, and BAC pops from from high $9s to over $10… Did the sources who fed the BAC story to the dumb ass reporters at WSJ and the NY Times so fuck up the message that CNBC had to fix the whole thing? Must be so…
For once, Liesman, good job.
@tgfd – think about this:
BAC book value = $25.98. assume best case scenario kenny can issue new shares at $12 (gov’t is going to convert at $6 and change) the addition of $34 bn would reduce the bvps to $21.69 (16.5% dilution). if the $12 price holds, that would INCREASE tang. book by 3.2% to $11.22 (from current $10.88).
jpm trades at 1.56x tang and wfc trades at 2.82x tang. (crack kills!). if you think bac can trade at a big boy multiple, load up the truck. if not hit the sell button.
my guess is that the share issuance isn’t at $12 but greater than $6, but then again, miracles never cease…
@50 – I’m still not sure if liesman gets it…
@ 50
how was Liesman able to speak abd juggle bernanke’s balls in his mouth at the same time?
48 Think you have it absolutely wrong re TGFD. 1) He’s the opposite of pinko, actually a rabid conservative. 2) Quality of his opinions is Money magazine level – that is not bad but generally retail oriented.
On a side note, EVERYONE IN TEXAS IS MORBIDLY OBESE.
Thank you for your attention in this matter.
sounds like there is a nice short squeeze going on, after all being 46% owned by the government must be really good for the shareholders
Cluzo@#51…
Thank you for the helpful explanation. I appreciate it.
The Guy from Delaware
glad to see others are tired of liesman’s blatant cheerleading for the fed. the guy is such a pupper its embarrasing
54 I was in St. Louis last week. Same thing there. Actually, my experience is that in most places in the US – NY, Boston, SF, LA excepted – most people are morbidly obese. Ever been to Disney World? My firm hosted a conf there a few years ago and one of the European attendees asked me if there was a fat persons convention in town those few days. He was particularly grossed out at the people walking around eating turkey drumsticks.
@36
Route 46 Automall, great commercials!
@58 – It is disgusting. Why are people so god damn fat. Next fat person I see is getting punched in their chins.
To all of my detractors:
Keep hatin’. My profile on this site is just getting bigger and bigger. Once I reach a critical mass of followers, I will start my OWN finance-related humor blog. Everyone will love it, and after 2 months Bess will be BEGGING me to join Dealbreaker. Thing is, it’s gonna be the other way around…
The Guy From Delaware
@61 – I don’t get it.
@61
Main Entry: de·lu·sion
Pronunciation: \di-ˈlü-zhən, dē-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Late Latin delusion-, delusio, from deludere
Date: 15th century
1: the act of deluding : the state of being deluded
2 a: something that is falsely or delusively believed or propagated b: a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or objects outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary ; also : the abnormal state marked by such beliefs
— de·lu·sion·al \-ˈlüzh-nəl, -ˈlü-zhə-nəl\ adjective
— de·lu·sion·ary \-zhə-ˌner-ē\ adjective
synonyms delusion, illusion, hallucination, mirage mean something that is believed to be true or real but that is actually false or unreal. delusion implies an inability to distinguish between what is real and what only seems to be real, often as the result of a disordered state of mind . illusion implies a false ascribing of reality based on what one sees or imagines . hallucination implies impressions that are the product of disordered senses, as because of mental illness or drugs . mirage in its extended sense applies to an illusory vision, dream, hope, or aim .
anyone up for getting Donkey Punched?
@64 – try on fashionista
Bullish on diabetes in the flyover states.
Guest@#48…
“He is consistently condescending”
Condescention is an unintended consequence of speaking in the 3rd person.
TGFD doesn’t mean to be that way. It’s just that, well… When one speaks in the 3rd person, it just happens.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. The Guest@#61 must be one of those “de·lu·sion·al” TGFD-Wannabee followers he talks about.
@58 Try New Orleans, where I was last weekend. I have never seen so many overweight and over-tattooed men AND women in my collective life. Very sad.