- YES: Jamie Dimon just bitched out the announcer while he was reading the whole forward looking statement thing. (“Can we just skip all that and get to the call? Thanks.”)
- CFO Mike Cavanagh in the house
- Rockin’ out with our glocks out. As you might’ve heard, the government says we don’t need shit.
- We feel like it was a conservative stress test…pretty stringent…reasonable
- The fact that we have such a strong position and earnings power makes us feel good
- We feel good about the future of the place
- Jamie has nothing to say
- Guy Moszkowski has a question about “the credit card stuff.” As presented rather than managed basis, does that change the bottom line? A: No.
- John McDonald: With the rules of repaying TARP clarified, can you talk more on that, Jamie?
- JD: The best we know right now is there will be a process for those who want to repay, which we will be involved in.
- Moshe Orenbuch: John and Guy asked my questions.
And we’re done here.

View Comments

  1. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:34 PM

    That. Was. Awesome.

  2. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:37 PM

    Jamie Dimon is the last hitter

  3. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:39 PM

    Wow, way to be a big man Jamie, bitch out the poor announcer just trying to do the job they were instructed to do. Christ, he’s such a douche.

  4. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:41 PM

    @3- yeah, it was actually kind of harsh.

  5. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:41 PM

    What is the forward looking statement thing?
    /not a major bank CEO

  6. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

    Dimon’s got places to be

  7. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

    I can’t see him, but I bet he’s wearing a douchey turtleneck

  8. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

    Hahah that wasn’t harsh, that was just money. Straight shootin… I like it.

  9. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

    Hahah that wasn’t harsh, that was just money. Straight shootin JD… I like it.

  10. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:45 PM

    Even under a scenario of two years of no profit, they’re still way above 4%
    BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLIN

  11. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:46 PM

    Dimon doesn’t have SHIT to say
    let’s field a question from this Merril Lynch, I mean, BofA tool

  12. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:47 PM

    @9 – I bet you love it when JD shoots all over your face.

  13. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:47 PM

    Of course Wamu is included you dumb bastard
    Thundering herd or herd of morons?

  14. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:52 PM

    And like that… *poof*… they were gone.
    -2StopShop

  15. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:52 PM

    Jamie Diamond is so f’ing official. This guy must be so difficult to talk to.
    -fratombomb.com

  16. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:53 PM

    @15- Diamond? Seriously?

  17. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:56 PM

    @15 & 16 – Dustin Diamond’s father, right?
    -2SS

  18. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 7:13 PM

    JD, you are a gilded douche.
    JT

  19. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 8:26 PM

    Jamie Dimon needs to put on his big boy pants. If he has any.
    Vikram

  20. Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 2:36 AM

    thanks bess. i dont even bother to listen to these calls any more because of the stellar DB coverage team.

  21. Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 7:13 AM

    This just in–Jamie Dimon will now replace Nick Saban and play the role of Nick Saban in the film version of ‘The Blind Side’.

  22. Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 10:37 AM

    Jamie Diamond more like Jamie Stonemason – I smell a conspiracy
    The Guy From Delaware

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