• 07 May 2009 at 6:31 PM

Live-Blogging The JPMorgan Stress Test Conference Call

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- YES: Jamie Dimon just bitched out the announcer while he was reading the whole forward looking statement thing. (“Can we just skip all that and get to the call? Thanks.”)
- CFO Mike Cavanagh in the house
- Rockin’ out with our glocks out. As you might’ve heard, the government says we don’t need shit.
- We feel like it was a conservative stress test…pretty stringent…reasonable
- The fact that we have such a strong position and earnings power makes us feel good
- We feel good about the future of the place
- Jamie has nothing to say
- Guy Moszkowski has a question about “the credit card stuff.” As presented rather than managed basis, does that change the bottom line? A: No.
- John McDonald: With the rules of repaying TARP clarified, can you talk more on that, Jamie?
- JD: The best we know right now is there will be a process for those who want to repay, which we will be involved in.
- Moshe Orenbuch: John and Guy asked my questions.
And we’re done here.

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    Comments (22)

    1. 1
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:34 PM

      That. Was. Awesome.

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:37 PM

      Jamie Dimon is the last hitter

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:39 PM

      Wow, way to be a big man Jamie, bitch out the poor announcer just trying to do the job they were instructed to do. Christ, he’s such a douche.

    4. 4
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:41 PM

      @3- yeah, it was actually kind of harsh.

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:41 PM

      What is the forward looking statement thing?
      /not a major bank CEO

    6. 6
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

      Dimon’s got places to be

    7. 7
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

      I can’t see him, but I bet he’s wearing a douchey turtleneck

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

      Hahah that wasn’t harsh, that was just money. Straight shootin… I like it.

    9. 9
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:44 PM

      Hahah that wasn’t harsh, that was just money. Straight shootin JD… I like it.

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:45 PM

      Even under a scenario of two years of no profit, they’re still way above 4%
      BAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLIN

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:46 PM

      Dimon doesn’t have SHIT to say
      let’s field a question from this Merril Lynch, I mean, BofA tool

    12. 12
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:47 PM

      @9 – I bet you love it when JD shoots all over your face.

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:47 PM

      Of course Wamu is included you dumb bastard
      Thundering herd or herd of morons?

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:52 PM

      And like that… *poof*… they were gone.
      -2StopShop

    15. 15
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:52 PM

      Jamie Diamond is so f’ing official. This guy must be so difficult to talk to.
      -fratombomb.com

    16. 16
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:53 PM

      @15- Diamond? Seriously?

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:56 PM

      @15 & 16 – Dustin Diamond’s father, right?
      -2SS

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 7:13 PM

      JD, you are a gilded douche.
      JT

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 8:26 PM

      Jamie Dimon needs to put on his big boy pants. If he has any.
      Vikram

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 2:36 AM

      thanks bess. i dont even bother to listen to these calls any more because of the stellar DB coverage team.

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 7:13 AM

      This just in–Jamie Dimon will now replace Nick Saban and play the role of Nick Saban in the film version of ‘The Blind Side’.

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 10:37 AM

      Jamie Diamond more like Jamie Stonemason – I smell a conspiracy
      The Guy From Delaware

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