As previously discussed ’round these parts, your secretary knows everything about you, such as, specifically, your dietary habits, and, more generally, your web of lies and bull shit and deceit. For all those reasons, you really need to think twice about firing her. On the off-chance you get hauled off to the big house (after a luxurious penthouse arrest) because you were running a sizable Ponzi scheme, however, you’re out of luck. She’s probably gonna talk! Above, Bernie Madoff’s longtime administrative assistant, Eleanor Squillari, talkin’ B with Vanity Fair. Apparently he was acting weird and taking his blood pressure a lot during the weeks before he confessed, as though he was worried about something. And from her interview with VF‘s Mark Seal:
“Bernie was irresistible to women” and “had a roving eye.” Squillari once caught him perusing the escort ads in the back of a magazine, and he frequently visited massage parlors. “Once, I looked in his address book and found, under M, about a dozen phone numbers for his masseuses. ‘If you ever lose your address book and somebody finds it, they’re going to think you’re a pervert,’ I said.”
Madoff was flirtatious and had a habit of making sexually suggestive remarks: “‘Oh, you know you’re crazy about me,’ he would say to me. Sometimes when he came out of his bathroom, which was diagonal to my desk, he would still be zipping up his pants. If he saw me shaking my head disapprovingly, he would say, ‘Oh, you know it excites you.’ If a pretty young woman came in, he’d say, ‘Do you remember when you used to look like that?’ I’d tell him, ‘Knock it off, Bernie,’ and he’d go, ‘Ah, you still look good.’ Then he’d try to pat me on the ass.”
What a pimp.
The fucker doesn’t even wash his hands?
i see nothing wrong with this
where can I send my resume?
-ashley dupre
A swindler and a swinger – some guys have all the fun!
if i were running the world’s largest ponzi i would too probably have some tension in my shoulders now and then…
It is pretty easy to be “irresistible to women” when you pay them.
@7
thanks for the tip sugardaddy
i like this guy more every day
holy crap, could this chick be any more Long Island?
@10- she’s from staten island, but thanks for playing.
@10- “a 59-year-old mother of two from Staten Island”
the unanswered question here is, how on earth did Bernie manage to get Liza Minelli to answer his phones to begin with?
TRB
Ruthie, no matter what they say, you’ll always be my GILF.
Love,
Bernie
Q: Why do Princess’s wear gold diaphragms?
A: Because their husbands like coming into money.
I guess Bernie was pokin Eleanor on the side. Makes Ruth ANGRY!!
Swindler’s List?
@15 – fail
Hasn’t he ever heard of craigslist??? No need to leave that stuff in writing.
@15 A+
@19- um, nevermind craiglist, he was finding the parlors via magazine.
How is this guy and his pervert ways any different than any Wall St little douche?
Seriously, so he liked to get his dong played with and flirted with the ladies.
So basically he was a normal dude (in that one, narrow respect).
@22- no one said they were. i think the point of this vf article was to humanize him.
Softball dyke-mullet? Bernie, for shame.
Really. After 25 years on the job, Eleanor knows that Ruth was a strong woman, but she really doesn’t know whether Ruth knew about the ponzi.
Eleanor = Lying Chitterling
The Guy from Delaware
TGFD, we heard you was dead. You still alive and kicking?
#15 – learn how to use an apostrophe. Typos are tolerable, stupidity not so much. “Princess’s”?
“Bernie was irresistible to women”
“…and he frequently visited massage parlors.”
I find this ironic. Or oxymoronic. Or something.
#15 – learn how to use an apostrophe. Typos are tolerable, stupidity not so much. “Princess’s”?
#29 – “paradox” is probably what you are thinking. However, I have an explanation: The quote should have read “Bernie’s money was irresistible to women.” There’s a lot of lumpy hedgies whose $$$ are equally irresistible.
@28 & @30. Learn to use the internet. Corrections are tolerable, double posting while Alt+tabbing to bangbros.com, not so much.(“Jerk-offs’s”)
Let’s see… $50BN to burn, $250 a pop (including tip) at the local KMP = getting laid 200MM times.
With so little time left, no wonder this guy was forced to run a ponzi scheme.
Guest@#27…
Who started the “TGFD = DEAD” rumor? You, perhaps?
TGFD is still alive; thank you.
The Guy from Delaware
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/madoff/
But seriously. Esp at smaller firms, haven’t you ever come across old coots like Bernie, that grew up during the time when women “knew their place”. They call their secretary “girl” (my secretary – even the term is now deemed incorrect, in its implication that you’re mine and you shut your mouth and do my bidding). And patted her on the arse from time to time. Try that today and at best you’ll be deemed a dinosour and at worst the object of a lawsuit.
@13 = winner
33 Once again that $50B number. Bernie didn’t steal $50B – he reallocated most of that to early clients from later ones. One could therefore say that the early clients stole. At least the ones smart or lucky enough to have withdrawn their ill gotten gains. I’m still waiting for an accounting of how much of that $50B actaully went into Bern’s pockets. Its easier to believe that he stole it than rather than Hadassah, for example, which was one of those early clients.
Hey Ruth Baby, call me! and don’t forget your purse.
@27 no, that’s a Zombie version of TGFD that has come back to haunt us. You just can’t get away from the guy; even in death.
“Bernie was irresistible to women.”
Translation: Women couldn’t turn down the opportunity to make $500 for a 30-second massage, ending with Bernie prematurely ejaculating in his towel.
I did not say that TGFD was dead. I said I hoped he was dead.
“Bernie was irresistible to women.”
TGFD IS irresistible to women.
Guest@#43…
TGFD is saddened by what you wrote. All kidding aside, you should be ashamed of yourself.
The Guy from Delaware
@29
As the saying goes, you don’t pay for the sex, you pay for them to go away after.
You guys are just jealous. You would all be doing the same thing if you had enough of someone else’s money.
You guys are just jealous. You would all be doing the same thing if you had enough of someone else’s money.
The rumors of my untimely death have been great exaggerated. In fact, I just had a checkup and physical, and I’m doing just fine! Except, well… my dong doesn’t get hard much any more.
The Guy From Delaware
TGFD Wannabee@#48…
“Except, well… my dong doesn’t get hard much any more.”
That is funny, and it is worth laughing at, except, well… you’re wrong.
The Guy from Delaware
p.s. Actually, what you wrote is very funny. Well done.
So let me get this right, she knew Bernie was looking to screw escorts but did not know that he was screwing his clients
So let me get this right, she knew Bernie was looking to screw escorts but did not know that he was screwing his clients
@50/51/52/53:…Really?
Yes
Yes
Yes
this is like sitcom dialogue. you can almost hear the laugh track after each of those lines.
Bernie meet Bubba – you be his new
be-atch.
MacMadoff: The Mystery Fat Cat
(Macavity: The Mystery Cat, TS Elliot)
WilliamBanzai7′s Book of Wall Street Fat Cats
MacMadoff a mystery Fat Cat: he’s called the hidden Ponzi Paw -
For he’s the master criminal who can defy economic law.
He’s the bafflement of the SEC’s canards, the enforcement squad’s despair:
For when they reach the scene of crime – MacMadoff’s never there!
MacMadoff, MacMadoff, there’s no one like MacMadoff,
He’s broken every law of fraud, he breaks the market laws of gravity.
His ponziesque powers of levitation would make a fakir stare,
And when you reach the scene of crime – MacMadoff’s not there!
You may seek him down on the Lipstick’s 17th floor, you may look up in his Park Avenue lair -
But I tell you once and once again, MacMadoff’s not there!
McMadoff’s a nimble Fat Cat, but he’s not even tall or thin;
You would know him if you saw him, for his shifty eyes are sunken in.
His brow is deeply lined with thought, his sliver hair is nicely bouffant;
His schpiel is feisty as heck, each of his sophisticated investors are dumber than a Riviera crossant.
He sways his head from side to side, with movements like a Vegas rattle snake;
And when you think he’s half asleep, he’s always wide awake.
MacMadoff, MacMadoff, there’s no one like MacMadoff,
For he’s a Wall Street fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity.
You may meet him on a putting green, you may see him in a Hotel du Cap lounge chair
But when a financial crime’s discovered, then MacMadoff’s not there!
He’s outwardly respectable. (They say he cheats at cards.)
And his footprints are not found in any file of those SEC canards.
And when the rich and famous are looted, or the trust account is rifled,
Or when the milk money is missing, or another Ponzi’s been stifled,
Or the charity bank is broken, and retirement’s beyond repair -
Ay, there’s the wonder of the thing! MacMadoff’s not there!
And when the SEC Branch Chief finds a monthly statement gone astray,
Or the Palm Beach widows lose it all by the way,
There may be a scrap of paper in the hall or on the stair -
But it’s useless to investigate – McMadoff’s not there!
And when the loss has been disclosed, the FBI men say:
`It must have been MacMadoff!’ – but he’s thousands of miles away.
You’ll be sure to find him resting, or a-licking caviar off his well manicured thumbs,
Or engaged in doing complicated long-division sums.
MacMadoff, MacMadoff, there’s no Fat Cat like MacMadoff,
There never was a Fat Cat of such deceitfulness and suavity.
He always has an alibi, and one or two to spare:
At whatever time the deed took place – MACMADOFF WASN’T THERE!
And they say that all the Fat Cats whose wicked deeds are widely known
(I might mention Ezra Merkin, I might mention Walter Noel)
Are nothing more than agents for the Fat Cat who all the time
Just controls their operations: Bernie MacMadoff, the Napoleon of Financial Crime!
he sounds like judge kent – may be they will be pen pals in prison ?
@58 that was gay, get a job
oUknP5 Really appreciate you sharing this blog. Much obliged.
Say, you got a nice blog post. Want more.
Thanks so much for the article.Much thanks again. Fantastic.
Very informative blog post.Thanks Again. Great.
Thanks for sharing, this is a fantastic blog article.Really thank you! Really Great.
This is one awesome blog article.Much thanks again. Awesome.
Muchos Gracias for your blog post.Really looking forward to read more. Will read on…
Fantastic post. Really Cool.