• 07 May 2009 at 1:38 PM

Magic Carpet Ride

crash.jpgRemember the good ole’ days? You know, back when it was believable fantasy that Chrysler and General Motors would be fine if only they could get several billion dollars to patch things up for the several months it was going to take until unit sales got back up to 2007 levels? Back when the cash sent to GM and Chrysler was a “loan” that might be paid back? Times have changed. Even GM’s own CFO admits that about the only hope for GM at this point is the total socialization of the automobile market in the United States. Can you remember a time in recent memory when this paragraph from GM’s CFO would have been greeted with anything but howling laughter?

Young said there were sales bright spots in such markets as China, Germany and Brazil, where governments implemented programs to stimulate demand. Results in those countries support GM’s argument in favor of U.S. incentives to promote auto purchases, he said.

So not only do we have to pay you to stay alive, we have to pay customers to buy your product? We pay customers to push revenue to pay ourselves back with and increase the number of cars on the road at a time when consuming oil is one of the nation’s cardinal sins. Mind you, this plan is actually delivered with a straight face.
Well, there is always the forward, out of the box thinking that gives us brilliant epiphanies like the GM-Segway PUMA partnership. (Crashtesting should be interesting to watch here). That ought to bolster revenues!
As for bondholders? Those evil fat cats with the arrogance to expect bankruptcy law to have meaning? Prepare to be demonized: The Treasury isn’t planning to give bondholders more than 10% of equity in any case. Bondholders value their stake at 58% which would frustrate the government’s plan to control the company post-bankruptcy. This makes GM’s bankruptcy, which seems a near certainty now, likely to be the massive, megabudget Hollywood blockbuster remake of that little independent picture “Chrysler,” that was filmed by the no-name director with some stolen film stock, a few friends and $15,000 in a Mexican border town. Remember, GM’s debt is all over the place, not concentrated 70% with four TARP wards.

General Motors Corp. said its first- quarter net loss widened to $5.98 billion as sales plunged by almost half, ratcheting up the prospect of a bankruptcy filing by a U.S.-imposed June 1 deadline.
The net loss of $9.78 a share swelled from $3.3 billion, or $5.74, a year earlier, Detroit-based GM said today. Revenue tumbled 47 percent to $22.4 billion, while cash consumption almost doubled from the previous quarter.
The results add to the pressure on GM as it races to cut costs and debt to avoid bankruptcy. With bondholders resisting a plan ordered by the Obama administration to exchange $27 billion in debt for a minority stake in a reorganized GM, the 100-year- old automaker may end up in court.

But don’t worry. According to GM, GM is ready to go “in and out” of bankruptcy “quickly.”
That’s a relief.
GM Loss Widens to $5.98 Billion as Bankruptcy Deadline Nears [Bloomberg]

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Comments (18)

  1. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 1:42 PM

    Hell with the investigative journalism, Manny Ramirez just tested positive for steroids. That’s the real story today.
    Socialism is yesterday’s news. Steroids … now that’s something we haven’t heard about in weeks!

  2. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    Boring.
    How about something that ties Miss California with Bernie Ponzi? Include pictures.

  3. Posted by Anal_yst | May 7, 2009 at 1:46 PM

    Just the tip, just for a second to see how it feels…

  4. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 1:48 PM

    @3 – I love that game!
    -Ashley D

  5. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 1:51 PM

    Time to stock up on popcorn! This should be good.

  6. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 1:57 PM

    Why is GM down only 7c and hovering around 1.59? Aren’t the equity holders supposed to get asswiped in the bankruptcy?
    WTF says TGFD.
    The Guy from Delaware
    p.s. That scooter in the photo is a Pontiac.

  7. Posted by Equity Private | May 7, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    TGFD: You’re right of course! I should have recognized it as something that was the product of the tagline “We Build Excitement.”

  8. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 2:03 PM

    First person I see driving one of those is going to get pelted with a lovely assortment of cured meets.
    Chazzle Gaspagizzle

  9. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 2:31 PM

    “m-e-a-t-s”

  10. Posted by rollformer | May 7, 2009 at 2:33 PM

    Twentieth Century Motor Company, anyone?

  11. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 2:59 PM

    Any idea of how much is outstanding in GM credit default swaps and if AIGFP wrote a bunch of them?
    That will make for some interesting political theatre.

  12. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 3:02 PM

    I want to ride BL’s carpet.

  13. Posted by Anal_yst | May 7, 2009 at 3:09 PM

    @11
    I’d imagine there’s some other swaps written on/referencing GM securities, should be interesting to watch this all play out…

  14. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 3:33 PM

    Does that “car” shown in the image come with airbags? :)

  15. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 3:36 PM

    THEY FUCK YOU AT THE DRIVE-THRU
    The Guy From Delaware

  16. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 3:46 PM

    @#15 is not the real TGFD. Not my style, but funny nonetheless.
    The Guy from Delaware

  17. Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 7:20 PM

    Let GM go down. There’s plenty of other auto companies who’ll step in to replace them, companies who haven’t taken tax dollar money. This whole situation is a disgusting fiasco.

  18. Posted by Annoseosteole | November 1, 2011 at 4:33 PM

    I usually try out to locate the very best way cleaning my carpets.
    I found out that steam cleansing is one of the simplest cleansing strategies to the most carpets.

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