• 07 May 2009 at 5:05 PM

Results Released

By Equity Private

Stress Test Results [PDF]


Citi:
current capital, $118.8 billion
total estimated losses (under adverse scenario), $104.7 billion
capital needed, $5.5 billion
trouble zones, credit cards, Pandit’s love handles
BAC:
current capital, $173.2 billion
total estimated losses (UAS), $136.6 billion
capital needed, $33.9 billion
trouble zones, first lien mortgages, Ken Lewis’s drinking problem
GS:
current capital, $55.9 billion
total estimated losses (UAS), $17.8 billion
capital needed, $0
trouble zones, whatever’s Yiddish for “N/A motherfuckers”
JPM:
current capital, $136.2 billion
total estimated losses (UAS), $97.4 billion
capital needed, $0
trouble zones, credit card loans and Jamie Dimon’s dangerously good looks

Comments (24)

  1. 1
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:08 PM

    Maxine please

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:12 PM

    Vickle take a bow…

  3. 3
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:16 PM

    Too communist, didn’t kremlin

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:18 PM

    Can somebody get Bernanke in a helicopter?

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:23 PM

    SCAP = SCAM

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:26 PM

    good job vikram!

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:27 PM

    vikula deserves a tickula

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:27 PM

    whatever’s Yiddish for “N/A motherfuckers”
    nice.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:28 PM

    pandito’s love handles are part of his charm, thank you very much

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:30 PM

    Anybody know what ratios is the most meaningful. SCAP to the asset numbers look pretty rough for some of the smaller banks but I’m not sure what to stick in the denominator.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:31 PM

    drinks are on lewis

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:35 PM

    Friedman resigns..
    Goldman is safe, made $3m+ in gains on timely stock purchases, will end up in a consulting capacity somewhere and thus, mission accomplished.
    Strangely, I don’t feel anything. No repulsion, no disgust for this slimeball. Just a sign of how jaded we’ve all become to blatant and brazen transgressions.

  13. 13
    Posted by Investorcluzo | May 7, 2009 at 5:39 PM

    can we get someone to cross check the current revenue estimates for said banks over the next 2 years and the “resources other than capital to absorb losses”…
    reported resoursces under the tests were:
    bac $74 bn
    jpm $72 bn
    wfc $60 bn
    c $49 bn
    I believe this was supposed to be under the “stressed” scenario…

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 5:46 PM

    booya!

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:00 PM

    @13
    What do you think is a worst case revenue estimate for the four?

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:01 PM

    can you post the wrestling pic of steve friedman when you get around to his resignation??

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:02 PM

    So thats it, we’re in the clear, nothing to see here?
    This Armageddon was avoided easier than the one in Wargames.
    Some rich got richer, some rich got screwed. Some Ibises got molested, some Palm Beach CC memberships not renewed.
    Bonus money was paid, people yelled and dumped tea.
    Lehman, Bear, and to some degree Wamu, AIG, ML. Chrysler, GM…RIPieces.
    The collapse ended not with a bang but a stress test induced whimper. (except for the few unfortunate ‘suicides’ which did indeed end with a bang.)
    In the immortal words of Chuck D. ‘Dont believethe hype”.
    -C

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:03 PM

    @16- oh, you mean the post that was put up half an hour ago? thanks for playing.

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 6:06 PM

    “You can see who’s been swimming naked with venereal warts when the tide goes out…”
    ~The Oracle of Olathe

  20. 20
    Posted by Darkwing Buck | May 7, 2009 at 6:21 PM

    Wow the Fed really needs to hire better analysts.
    p.11, look for “USB” instead of “UBS”
    Short for Uncle Sven’s Broke, I believe

  21. 21
    Posted by guest | May 7, 2009 at 9:10 PM

    @20, who is a degenerate fucktard
    USB is US Bank

  22. 22
    Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 2:41 AM

    @21 chill out, USB is only a $250 billion bank why would anyone have heard of it

  23. 23
    Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 3:54 AM

    @22 that’s funny, so’s UBS ;)

  24. 24
    Posted by guest | May 8, 2009 at 3:54 AM

    @22 that’s funny, so’s UBS ;)

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