What’s life like at the ole Securities and Exchange Commission? Moe Tkacik read the Government Accountability Office’s report on the regulator issued yesterday, and apparently days at the ranch are spent asking “why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam,” threatening to “kick this piece of shit out the window,” composing oneself and making a trip to Kinkos.
Investigative attorneys with whom we spoke concurred that having little or no administrative or paralegal support causes them to spend considerable time on non-legal duties such as copying, filing, document-scanning, preparing exhibits, making travel arrangements, soliciting bids for court reporters, and logging and processing documents submitted by respondents. For example, one attorney told us such duties can take 2 to 3 hours daily. Another, who joined the agency from private practice, said that investigative attorneys can spend up to half their time on tasks handled by support staff in their previous position. One attorney told us of plans to spend a day assembling document storage boxes. Because there is insufficient in-house copying capability, confidential documents sometimes are sent to non-secure outside copy shops. Frequent equipment breakdowns mean attorneys must search for working copiers and scanners, a number of attorneys told us.
If you’re on the fence about killing yourself and need that extra push, read on to hear about how long it takes the agency to draft an internal memo (hint: it’s closer to two months than twenty minutes).
Scenes From The Ninth Circle Of Financial Bureaucracy [TPM]
I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it Bob…..
Oh he’s got mgmt written all over him-
omg, another crazy Santelli moment.. What a lun..
I’d love to bang Erin&Becks on a pile of TPS reports.
Random Question. Anyone know where I could study up on tax policy as it applies to investment management companies, I am studying for an interview and don’t have my old tax textbook from school.
manny juicing
@5
http://www.irs.gov
Naga…Naga…Na-gonna work here anymore!
“One attorney said there has been relatively more focus on modest cases like small Ponzi schemes, insider trading, and day trading, because such cases were thought to stand a better chance of winning Commission approval, compared to more difficult and time-consuming cases like financial fraud.”
Why go after the big fish? They require time and effort.
Of course the real question is: are you willing to spend the amount of money it take to make the SEC more efficient at sending out harassing letters to the productive enterprises it regulates which demand people at regulated firms drop their productive activity immediately to satisfy the SEC demand for information so that the SEC can justify its existence? That doesn’t seem like the path to prosperity to me.
Fear not fair investor – the bankruptcy receivers and the plaintiff’s bar will save us:
Ezra Merkin sued by the Madoff Trustee for $557mm.
Have you seen my stapler?
We need hope. We need change. We need experience.
We need pens.
Of course the real question is: are you willing to spend the amount of money it take to make the SEC more efficient at sending out harassing letters to the productive enterprises it regulates which demand people at regulated firms drop their productive activity immediately to satisfy the SEC demand for information so that the SEC can justify its existence? That doesn’t seem like the path to prosperity to me.
Mami Mumu Lama Lumu
The Guy From Delaware
Hey Pete, how’s it going? Good. Listen, I’m also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Columbus Day. We, uhhh, hired some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Thanks!
Let free enterprise run the SEC and that will solve the problems. Oh..Huh? Free enterprise is already running the SEC?
Nevermind then.
Hire a bunch of people from Kokomo, IN to upper mgmt positions at the SEC!
No need to worry about fixing the pesky copiers/printers!
Maxine Waters to run the joint. They can raise cash by selling Colt 45 on the front steps. Throw in a few ACORN folks for good measure.
Change!
-mrp
college student: which do I choose hmmm, hedge fund, banker, lobbyist, SEC?
Oh! And next Friday! Is… Hawaiian shirt day.
It’s astonishing how much time the SEC spends on boondoggles like XBRL, IFRS conversion, etc. I’m sure these are worthy projects (esp. IFRS conversion), but the SEC spends way too much time on them in the form of speeches, colloquia, open meetings, release after release, etc. If the SEC invested half the time and money it spends on XBRL into the enforcement division, I suspect we would have fewer Madoffs/Stanfords and a more reliable and predictable regulatory mechanism.
Every time you make a decision, you should ask yourself: “Is this good for the company?”
@21
Now go tell that to Rick “we need more/more access to data” Bookstabber
I had a perfectly fine name until that no-talent ass clown started winning Grammys.
-Mike Bolton
PC Load Letter? What the hell does that even mean?
What if – and believe me this is a hypothetical – but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything for you?
I don’t know, I guess. Listen, I’m gonna go. It’s been really nice talking to both of you guys.
Absolutely, the pleasure’s all on this side of the table, trust me.
Good luck with your layoffs, all right? I hope your firings go really well.
Hmm… well why don’t you just go by Mike instead of Michael?
Michael Bolton: No way. Why should I change? He’s the one who sucks.
-Hey, Peter…
-Yeah?
-Watch out for your cornhole, Bud.
-Thanks, Lawrence.
Office Space References FTW!
I have a proposal that could solve one of the SEC’s many problems.
They should use Yahoo! Finance for real time trading information, since Bloomberg is just too complicated and expensive for a USG regulator.
the market watch people hopefully have such equipment. other people (insider traders) are usually caught after the fact, and I wouldn’t be surprised if yahoo finance is in fact commonly used by staff
@30: speaking from experience (working in the division of corporation finance 99-02), at that time yahoo finance was what i used for financial data. there was, however, a bloomberg terminal on our floor. don’t think anyone knew how to use it though.
America should do like they do in the military. Every 7th MBA with outstanding education loans who working in finance gets drafted, sent to bootcamp at J. Aron and then made a Captain like physicians are.
“Captain Smith reporting for duty Sir!! I’m with the 69th Audit Brigade aka The Bastard Backstabbers!”
#9,
“Why go after the big fish? They require time and effort.”
Yes, and you don’t get to marry the big fish’s niece that way.