• 06 May 2009 at 9:57 AM

Steve Cohen Snubbed Via Guest List

By Equity Private

Picture 1267.pngThe Post‘s Keith Krelly reports today that our favorite Stamfordian was a no-show at last night’s fête to celebrate the 100 most influential people of the year, as determined by Time magazine. That’s probably because the big guy wasn’t invited. Which, yes, is an unforgivable dis that someone’s going to die for but the more important point lies in the other list Bubba was left off– the Time 100. That’s a problem for a couple of reasons.
1) Big boy doesn’t attend parties that aren’t being thrown in his honor.* That’s just a fact. I don’t care if it’s your birthday, bachelor, retirement, coming out party or Sweet 16– you want him there, you find a way to incorporate his presence into the proceedings and his name onto the cake.
2) (And this is actually sort of serious, not that you shouldn’t take the previous intel as gospel if you have any desire for him to give a toast congratulating your transition from Samuel to Samantha) The fact that he was left off the list is part of the grander takeaway that this little compilation was a pile of sham. Besides Stizzle, where was Chanos? Paulson (talkin’ John, not Bald)? Einhorn? (Try telling me ‘horny doesn’t deserve a spot, whether for the little dealio with Lehman or his contributions to porn. Try and fail, cockbags.) Not only did they not make the final cut, they weren’t even considered as finalists. That list, we’ll remind you, includes Charlie Gasarpino, Jim Cramer, Prince Alwaleed bin Talal and Ken Lewis. That’s a charade you couldn’t pay SC to take part in, even if you lured him there under the false pretenses that there was some ice that needed smoothing.
*Unless he’s told ahead of time there’ll be a private Jonas Brothers concert to bid on, in which case, he makes an exception.

Comments (25)

  1. 1
    Posted by Anal_yst | May 6, 2009 at 10:00 AM

    How the f*ck did Gasbag make any list (not counting the Sopressata Aficionado nitrate 90)?

  2. 2
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 10:02 AM

    @analyst- he made the finalists, not the actual list

  3. 3
    Posted by Lowly Assistant | May 6, 2009 at 10:06 AM

    Hold your tongue, Anal. A princely saint, the man is.

  4. 4
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 10:35 AM

    Is this the award Erin received last night in DC?

  5. 5
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 10:40 AM

    @4- no. idiot.

  6. 6
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:01 AM

    Anybody know what kind of shape GSC is in? Flying under the radar for a big fund, but just D’d on their loans yesterday so things can’t be great in Florham Park.

  7. 7
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    My dream is to pound EB in the ass in the Equinox steam room in front of Gaspadrool.

  8. 8
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    @7- your joke got old the first time you wrote it. and this is about steve cohen, so stfu.

  9. 9
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    That would be the Time 100 list that was precision hacked to read “Marblecake Also The Game”? by the lads at 4chan?
    The top 21, apart from Moot, only appeared there by the virtue of their first names’ initial.

  10. 10
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:41 AM

    That would be the Time 100 list that was precision hacked to read “Marblecake Also The Game”? by the lads at 4chan?
    The top 21, apart from Moot, only appeared there by the virtue of their first names’ initial.

  11. 11
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    @8 – Why are you such an unpleasant person? Why? WHY?

  12. 12
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:44 AM

    @9/10- buy a clue. yes, the list was hacked, but neither cohen nor any of the guys listed above were on it (the real one. where as meredith whitney was.)

  13. 13
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    Why you guys dissing my hero? Why….

  14. 14
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    Why you guys dissing my hero? Why….

  15. 15
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    Why you guys dissing my hero? Why….

  16. 16
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 12:14 PM

    Why is my boss always giving me those bedroom eyes? WHY?

  17. 17
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 12:19 PM

    @17- is your boss steve cohen?

  18. 18
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    victory– http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Cock-bush

  19. 19
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 12:56 PM

    This is a very disgusting photo that gets older everytime DB post it.

  20. 20
    Posted by guest | May 6, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    @20- blow me
    -SC

  21. 21
    Posted by IzkdADEQC | March 12, 2010 at 11:57 AM

    1.txt;5;15

  22. 22
    Posted by AxotoToca | May 10, 2010 at 6:29 PM

    Super n1owy test Chesweimi Super nowy test Chesweimi Super nowy test Chesweimi Super nowy test Chesweimi Super nowy test Chesweimi Super nowy test Chesweimi Super nowy test Chesweimi

    ADDEERRTTSSSTTTT

  23. 23
    Posted by Mminamp | August 23, 2010 at 3:43 PM

    Hi nice to meet you all, my name is Kirk , I’m from as Yonkers. Sweet site, I hadn’t noticed dealbreaker.com before in my searches! Keep up the great work! Visit me at vintage barbie clothes

  24. 24
    Posted by casquebose | August 22, 2011 at 12:39 AM

    Casque Bose France en ligne audio vente à bas prix at http://www.longchampbags.co.uk,Chaque casque bose audio est authentique du fabricant officie, de haute qualité et prix bas, 100% de satisfaction.

  25. 25
    Posted by Bundatrula | December 12, 2011 at 4:37 AM

    to buy with confident for gift

Leave a comment

You can log in with your account or comment as a guest below.

   or