Cause it’s John Thain’s 53rd birthday and he’s going to have a round on the mat with each and every one of you! No, just kidding! Only Ken Lewis! And on that dead serious note: we can think of no better gift than for one of you (or us, though we’re not big on heavy lifting) to go on a manhunt this afternoon to find Boone’s boy and transport him up north to Thain’s office in Westchester for a little visit, per the birthday boy’s request (exact words: “Bring me the head of Ken Lewis”). In the event we’re unable to locate KL, who’s likely reading this right now* and is about to get himself a head start, other ideas for thoughtful donations that we think would be much appreciated by J to the T include: a new beekeeping suit, the collector’s edition DVD of My Girl, some sort of diamond encrusted commode, and/or a job (though, we’re told, he’s apparently been “talking” with some fund managers and might not need it, so to be safe go with the toilet).
*On an iPhone, naturally, as BAC employees were blocked from reading this here site several months back.
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I am pretty sure that NAMBLA will be co-sponsoring the party.
cue the kurt angle theme music
A Dealbreaker jock strap
The chance to be interviewed by Jeff Macke
Can someone explain the boons joke that has been beaten to death on this site??
@5- it’s not a joke.
double question marks @5- it’s not a joke, it’s a nickname for ken lewis, who people in the know know sips Strawberry Hill in mass quantities throughout the day.
@7, thats completely retarded
@8- yes, especially if you’re CEO of a major bank, and yet, it’s true.
I drink SoCo with a straw, bitches!
Fuqua Killing It
@9, yeah and Im sure Jamie Dimon is mainlining meth over at JPM. Where does this proof come from? Dont be an idiot
@11- you know why you’re an idiot? because you didn’t get that 7 was JOKING, and that the whole Boone’s thing itself was a joke, hence your overreaction and dumb example of Jamie Dimon doing meth.
Francis@11- you’ve got to lighten up or you’re going to pull a muscle.
You would be surprised what you can find out while pounding your secretary in the ass, # 11.
Old English starting at sunrise!
-WestSiiiiiiide
We’re all chipping in and having a cake made from a bust of Ken Lewis. It will be adorned with a Wall$treet SUV and a bottle of Strawberry Hill.
Will send photos later.
Perhaps 5,8, & 11 is Old Boone Boy himself… Bess did indicate he was reading this post (on his iphone).
I only drink Ripple.
Olde English twit
Lewis drinks scotch, and probably too much of it, but it is funnier to say he gulps Boone’s by the gallon, so there you go.
Having had to explain the above is pathetic on multiple levels.
No, nobody thinks that Ken Lewis drinks Boone’s Farm Wine, although he would truly earn his Banker of the Year title, and probably a pink slip, if he would send a picture of himself guzzling down a bottle of Boone’s to DB. You know, to show he is a good sport, but would also show he is retarded.
If it’s not from a box, I just won’t touch it.
-Franzia “Sunset Blush” lover
I remember when we used to mix champagne and Ripple. We called it “champipple.”