Have Representative Michael Capuano accuse you of gang banging a bunch of girl scouts? Sit there while Rep. Elijah Cummings makes you feel like a bad person for treating your employees to $200,000 worth of facials? All the while knowing once you’re finally allowed to leave and get back to the office, Hank Greenberg will be hiding behind the door ready to jump out and shout about how none of this was his fault? Today is your lucky day! As previously mentioned, Ed Liddy announced last week that he’ll be getting the hell out of AIG just as soon as they can find a replacement for chairman and CEO (roles that are being separated to spread the love around) and apparently that day cannot come soon enough. Efforts are being ramped up to find two people willing to take on the sweet gigs, led by board member Dennis Dammerman and Big L himself who, wanting out of there a-sap, has said the process should take no more than a few months, tops. Lids told Reuters he expects the person picked as chair will be “someone familiar with the workings of government,” while the CEO post should go to a masochist willing to commit up to five years to the job. Who’s interested?
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I’m in.
I nominate Larry Kudlow
Might this include a pension and transportation? I’ve had some experience in front of Congress too, if that helps. Also, I once guested on “Miami Vice” and have a signed copy of a linen jacket worn by Sonny Crockett.
Oops, my bad — thought this was the GM thread.
-Lee Iacocca
homer simpson
My game is vicious and cool
f’ing chicks is a rule
and if my girl thinks I’m loyal
man, that bitch is a fool
-the legendary Big L
Fuck it, I’ll do it
Snoop dog
I’m looking for a new gig….one that won’t be as stressful and full of painful lessons like the last one.
- Vikram Pandit
I would take the job at the TARP mandated salary cap of $0.5M. However, I have a few conditions:
1) Any questions from Congress will be answered by my government relations adviser Dr. Ron Paul. My management of the “firm” may or may not seek his advice.
2) If Greenburg says anything about the firm I get to fight him in a UFC style cage match.
3) Any unsubstantiated accusations (e.g. that I have sex with Japanese prostitutes and snort coke off their asses) results in my being given carte blanche to do the very same thing since I’ve already been tried in the court of public opinion.
Better than the position I initially applied for.
- John McCain
Maxine Waters.