June 2009

  • News

    Do Not Dare To Suggest Dennis Kneale Is An Idiot

    Like Greg (and the universe) did yesterday, after DK’s proclamation that “the recession is over.” Unless you’re in the market for the business end of one of Kneale’s trademark screechy ass hissy fits, in which case, proceed.

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 10:00 PM
  • News

    Write-Offs: 06.30.09

    $$$ Morgan Stanley and MUFG in joint push [FT] $$$ Allen Stanford shockingly seen as flight risk [BBC] $$$ Stern “Wack Packer” Nabbed In Madoff Taping [TSG via Cityfile] $$$ “In the rest of that interview with the AP, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford mentioned that he had ‘dalliances’ with six other women, but ‘didn’t […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 5:56 PM
  • News

    SEC Throwing Wrench In Citi’s Plan To Name The Fonz A Director

    This– the Securities and Exchange Commission’s plan to show us it means business by robbing our nation’s banks of the right to appoint actors and sports stars to their boards–is a bunch of bull shit. And I’ll have you know The Juice has more business acumen in his pinkie than every Bank of America director […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 5:10 PM
  • News

    Brokers Swindle Senior Citizens With Free Blue-Plate Specials

    Having likely dispensed the advice for years to their children and grandchildren, a group of senior citizens learned firsthand that there is no such thing as a free lunch. The SEC is accusing New York-based Prime Capital Services of luring in the silver hair set with offers of free lunches and then selling them “highly […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 4:35 PM
  • News

    So You Say You Want To Be Melissa Francis’s Pool Boy?

    Melissa Francis recently put it out there that she’d love to land a hot, dumb, young male co-host. Basically, a “pool boy,” she said. Many of you expressed interest in the gig, so we asked Mel to give us a little more info re: what the job would entail. Here’s what she told us: * […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 4:10 PM
  • News

    New Financial Products Regulator To Provide Amusing Threat

    The wheels of forthcoming regulation have started to turn as the Obama administration sent its proposal for a consumer protection agency focused on financial products to Congress today. Among other things. the new agency will have the power to restrict or prohibit “unfair and deceptive practices”. If the current generation of regulatory all-stars couldn’t stop […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 3:28 PM
  • News

    Spotted: Mark Madoff Being A Dick On Nantucket

    A reader informs us he had the pleasure of running into one half of the spawn of Ponzi Nation just now. Apparently Mark Madoff cut our tipster’s girlfriend in line at local sandwich shop Something Natural, was rude to the staff, placed his order without putting down his Blackberry and claimed he was “in hurry.” […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 3:15 PM
  • News

    Lisa Falcone Explains Dressing Like A School Girl Of Perceived Loose Morals

    This is just a bit of housekeeping but in response to Fixed Income’s query as to why Phil Falcone’s wife was dressed, in FI’s words, in a “slutty school girl outfit with heels and socks” at the opening of the High Line* a couple weeks back, the Harbinger founder’s wife had this to say, via […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 2:20 PM
  • News

    China’s Real Currency Concern

    As China searches for an alternative to the dollar, it has another more immediate threat to its own currency. The growth of the online gaming industry has reached the point where virtual currencies are regularly being converted into cash and, in some cases, used to purchase goods directly. Not amused that people place more value […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 2:00 PM
  • News

    Getting To Know Your Madoff Victims

    Some of the stories yesterday we heard from Madoff’s victims were downright heartbreaking. They made us feel sad and want to shake our fists at that stupid brute! They also helped us feel pretty okay about asking you people to come up with the various ways in which inmates might welcome Bernie to the neighborhood, […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 1:54 PM
  • News

    Giving You The Tools Necessary To Get Back In The Saddle

    People, even if we weren’t in the throes of a slow as hell news day, even if I hadn’t checked out for the holiday weekend yesterday, even if I didn’t derive immeasurable personal pleasure from fucking with you, I’d still recommend this product. It’s the Executive Rodeo Chair, it’s the Hawaii Chair on roids, and […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 1:13 PM
  • News

    Joe Nocera Would Appreciate It If Madoff Victims Quit Their Bitching

    What he actually wrote was that they should “get over it,” though obviously the columnist went through a few drafts of the message that included “lick my balls” until his editor deemed the last “fit to print.” Anyway, yes, JoeNo has heard there are a bunch of people running around the city demanding the SEC […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 12:27 PM
  • News

    States Start The Two-Minute Drill For Passing Budgets

    The clock is ticking for ten states who have yet to pass their fiscal budgets by a midnight deadline tonight. While the federal government has the luxury of printing its way through temporary fiscal messes and creating a greater one down the road, states have to do it using more conventional methods (with some notable […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 12:02 PM
  • News

    Bernie Madoff’s New Ponzi Scheme: HJs

    The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c 150 Years of Solitude www.thedailyshow.com Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Jason Jones in Iran He’s gotta make a supplemental income somehow and you’ve gotta hand* it to the guy, he’s an investing genius. *You like that? What I did just there?

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 11:30 AM
  • News

    Who Wants Some Ponzi-Tainted Art?

    The Journal reports that Andrew Cuomo is selling pieces owned by Ezra Merkin, with proceeds going toward repaying the investors he screwed due to the Madoff association. Several Rothko paintings and Giacometti sculptures will apparently yield about $191 million, thanks to an anonymous buyer with whom Cuomo brokered a deal. It’s unclear if there are […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 11:15 AM
  • News

    Bernie’s Life Behind Bars Doesn’t Sound Like It’ll Be That Bad

    Unless he gets the whole solitary confinement thing, which he probably won’t, though it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world considering he’s been looking for some quiet time for the last decade or so. According to prison expert Kirby Behre it’s probably just going to be a lot of monotony, which will be […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 10:59 AM
  • News

    It’s Quiet. Too Quiet.

    As you’re aware, today is AIG’s annual shareholder meeting. It’s being held at the 72 Wall Street building, adjacent to the insurer’s 70 Pine Street headquarters and as of just past ten, we’re told there’s been nary a peep or sighting of protesters in the area. The only people camped outside are reporters, looking lost. […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 10:19 AM
  • News

    Madoff Victims Called Out

    With the flood of tales of heartbreak and financial ruin from King Ponz still coming in, less than 24 hours after Bernie learned what sentence he will be appealing, someone stepped up to the plate and called the Madoff victims “greedy”. In a Squawk Box Europe interview, Hugh Hendry, chief investment officer at Eclectica, fought […]

    / Jun 30, 2009 at 9:48 AM

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