Archive for June 2009

  • 30 Jun 2009 at 10:00 PM

Do Not Dare To Suggest Dennis Kneale Is An Idiot

Like Greg (and the universe) did yesterday, after DK’s proclamation that “the recession is over.” Unless you’re in the market for the business end of one of Kneale’s trademark screechy ass hissy fits, in which case, proceed.

  • 30 Jun 2009 at 5:56 PM

Write-Offs: 06.30.09

$$$ Morgan Stanley and MUFG in joint push [FT]
$$$ Allen Stanford shockingly seen as flight risk [BBC]
$$$ Stern “Wack Packer” Nabbed In Madoff Taping [TSG via Cityfile]
$$$ “In the rest of that interview with the AP, South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford mentioned that he had ‘dalliances’ with six other women, but ‘didn’t cross the sex line,’ which in politics means handjobs and the occasional non-swallowing oral.” But did he write them love letters? [AWL]
$$$ Companies only interested in hiring people who are currently employed [WSJ]
$$$ Helicopter Ben after one day of annotations. [TYMP]

Read more »

Picture 1629.pngThis– the Securities and Exchange Commission’s plan to show us it means business by robbing our nation’s banks of the right to appoint actors and sports stars to their boards–is a bunch of bull shit. And I’ll have you know The Juice has more business acumen in his pinkie than every Bank of America director combined. Also, do not discount the value of having some with the sort of initiative, drive and loose interpretation of the law that’ll allow him to say “I’m gonna break in there and get my shit,” which you don’t often find in the boardroom.

U.S. companies’ celebrity directors include Armstrong, 37, who quit last year after being paid $71,644 by Morgans; National Football League running back O.J. Simpson, 61, a member of four boards and the audit committee at Infinity Broadcasting Corp. before prosecutors charged him in the 1994 murders of ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend; and National Basketball Association hall-of-fame guard Oscar Robertson, 70, a Countrywide director for eight years until the lender, at risk of collapse, was bought by Bank of America in 2008.
“What the SEC wants to do is prompt companies to make sure they’re appointing directors who can do the job and not just look pretty on a roster,” said Stephen Davis, a senior fellow at the Millstein Center for Corporate Governance and Performance at the Yale School of Management.

Read more »

Having likely dispensed the advice for years to their children and grandchildren, a group of senior citizens learned firsthand that there is no such thing as a free lunch. The SEC is accusing New York-based Prime Capital Services of luring in the silver hair set with offers of free lunches and then selling them “highly unsuitable variable annuities” on their way out the door. Prime Capital’s brokers are under scrutiny for enticing seniors to buy annuities that charged early redemption fees for the years beyond their life expectancy while chowing down on free $5 foot longs. If recent history is any guide, those brokers better start running.
Firm Misled Seniors With Free-Lunch Pitches, SEC Says [Bloomberg]

Picture 1627.pngMelissa Francis recently put it out there that she’d love to land a hot, dumb, young male co-host. Basically, a “pool boy,” she said. Many of you expressed interest in the gig, so we asked Mel to give us a little more info re: what the job would entail. Here’s what she told us:
* First off, this will be a threesome deal. You’ll have two bosses, one being Francis, the other being Contessa Brewer, MF’s co-host when she moonlights on MSNBC, who wanted in on this business.
Picture 1628.png
* Good working knowledge of Real Housewives and credit markets helpful, though not necessary. You’re there to be a piece of meat, k?
* Ability to mix “creative cocktails” is a must, and to that end, Contessa says that Mojitos are preferable but the mint must be hand picked
* Shirts optional

Read more »

  • 30 Jun 2009 at 3:28 PM

New Financial Products Regulator To Provide Amusing Threat

The wheels of forthcoming regulation have started to turn as the Obama administration sent its proposal for a consumer protection agency focused on financial products to Congress today. Among other things. the new agency will have the power to restrict or prohibit “unfair and deceptive practices”. If the current generation of regulatory all-stars couldn’t stop the slightly deceptive practice of running a multi-billion dollar Ponzi scheme for over 20 years, you can guess the likelihood the new crew will pick up on some of the hidden gems buried in footnotes and legal disclosures. Should they fail that task however, their other major task at hand is enforcing the Community Reinvestment Act- which strongly encourages banks to make loans to low-income communities. You can probably start the egg timer now to count down to the moment that stroke of genius blows up in the administration’s face.
Congress Gets Plan for Consumer Protection Agency [NYT]

  • 30 Jun 2009 at 3:15 PM

Spotted: Mark Madoff Being A Dick On Nantucket

Picture 1626.pngA reader informs us he had the pleasure of running into one half of the spawn of Ponzi Nation just now. Apparently Mark Madoff cut our tipster’s girlfriend in line at local sandwich shop Something Natural, was rude to the staff, placed his order without putting down his Blackberry and claimed he was “in hurry.” Mini Madoff whipped out “a big wad of cash” to pay for his food before running out the door and into a big SUV with blacked windows. He did drop a dollar and change into the tip jar, which is nice, though it didn’t quite make up for the stinking up the place with the air of a “jerk who still thinks he’s a big deal after everything that’s happened.” Of course, we don’t know for certain as to why Mark, whose identity was confirmed by the credit card sticking out of his wallet, was acting like an a-hole. It could’ve been the fact that he continues to fancy himself a little rich boy, but it also could’ve had something to do with nerves associated with the possibility he’ll be joining daddy in the big house. Also possible is that the was late to meet up with the fish, and you know how he hates to keep them waiting.

Picture 1624.pngThis is just a bit of housekeeping but in response to Fixed Income’s query as to why Phil Falcone’s wife was dressed, in FI’s words, in a “slutty school girl outfit with heels and socks” at the opening of the High Line* a couple weeks back, the Harbinger founder’s wife had this to say, via the Times:

If she wears Fogal ankle socks with her Hermès high heels — as she did to Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s news conference at the opening of the High Line earlier this month — it’s because she is busy with her 4-year-old twin girls, she said, and lacks time for a pedicure.

Happy? Hopefully you’ll now get off the woman’s ass. (Sadly Lisa “Dime Piece” Falcone proffered no explanation for the outfit at left, though, really, is one necessary?)
*The couple generously donated $10 million to the project.
Photo credit: NYM