I’ll be bringing you the entirety of Charlie Gasparino’s answers to your questions this shortly. To tide you over ’til then, there’s brief footage of the meal after the jump, and, in response to the query, “Is his right wrist bigger/more muscular than his left, as a result of repetitive jacking,” CG said this: “They’re the same size, because it takes two hands. You need a firm grip. Write that down.”
Charlie Gasparino: masturbating with two hands since 1955.
Bess you tease!
did you sleep with the fishes?
“…Write that down.”
bess, what other “requests” did CG make last night to which you complied?
YES YES YES
Mustang Sally never came home last night.
SPODE
dead on this day, Farrah Fawcett
WHO IS BESS LEVIN? Where can i find a pic?
Blondie has left the building. The hearing is worthless now.
Bess is locked in a basement somewhere, Charlie is posting under her name.
Wow. You got cub reporting lessons from a legend; A LEGEND.
Did you call him on it? What kind of a “reporter” (his term) are you?
on other blogs they are reporting that farrach Fawcett has died. Is this true?
Two hands, eh? Is that why his friend (who happens to own a club for the gays) tagged along?
I never went down..you never got me down.
-Bess
I never went down..you never got me down.
-Bess
I never went down..you never got me down.
-Bess
I’ll bet the outtakes from those “I Am CNBC” spots are pretty funny.
Charlie: “I was a gold gloves runner up … I use boxing gloves (both) to beat off”
Producer: CUT!
@9. I’m confident that was Bess.
@18… he was never a runner-up, just said golden gloves ‘prospect’, which we all are because ANYONE can enter the golden gloves… not like they scout people out and ask them to join the tournament
Free Bess Levin!
Free Bess Levin!
You let her go, you prosciutto eating son of a bitch!
@13– go back to tmz.com
@18 Duly noted.
Correction:
Charlie: “I was a gold gloves prospect … I tape my fists before beating off.”
Producer: CUT!
CNBC Intern: “CNBC promotions “I Am CNBC” Take 42″:
CG: “I’ve had to beat off a lot of other reporters to get the scoops I…”
Director: “CUT!!!”
@23/24 ftw
I wonder what his fight record was… all boxers are required to have a book of recorded fights (somebody could probably gain access to this, assuming it even exists).
he’s pissed Jane Wells stole his “soft spot for the american flag” line.
Did he eat what he killed?
Unfortunately, your survival was the answer.
“Is his right wrist bigger/more muscular than his left, as a result of repetitive jacking,”
Why yes, it is. And if fact, his shoulders are no longer even and his elbow permanently inclines at a wierd angle of attack, and he needs to go have Lasik done soon.
Was he good after dinner, I mean in the motel room?
You know who’s hands they remind me of? – Ray McKigneyigney. The most exquisite hands you’ve ever seen.. Oh, he had it all.
Charlie: “After school I trained at the corner butcher shop in the freezer section, alone. Nobody beats my meat.”
Director: “CUT!”
SPODE
Any updates on Bess’ cans and dumper? If only Charlie was literate enough to write, it’d probably be posted on his myspace page
is it true he only got the gig at CNBC on account he’s got an old video (Betamax, natch)of him and his friends running a train on Maria B. in the back seat of a Cadillac Coupe d’Elegance parked outside the Golden Dove in Bay Ridge???
@ 8 – She looks a lot like Kate Bosworth.
Charlie: “Rosy Palm and her….”
Director: “CUT!”
Dr. Phil
@34 i have it on good authority that part of that story is true. the only thing is that it was not outside the Golden Dove, it was actually behind the dumpsters of a White Castle
@36 keep going
Director: That’s IT! You don’t get to do a spot.
Charlie: AWWW, cmon. lemme take a whack at it — I got plenty of practice wha
Director: CUT!!!
@37- This is true my friend.
-Harold and Kumar
Charlie shoulda quit while he was making up stories as a cub reporter for the Bond Buyer in the 1990s. He was funnier then.
Two hands required because he likes his thumb deep in the rectum.
Charlie G coulda been a conten-duh!
Now, all he gots is his ugly mug, his 5 -o clock shadow, and all-o-dem friends in Queens. No wonder he’s a two hander.
Charlie: “My favorite little Rascal was….”
Director: “CUT!”
CNBC Intern: “CNBC promotions “I Am CNBC” Take 54″:
CG: “I have industry contacts that constantly jerk me off…”
Director: “CUT!!!”
@39 – He wanted to work as a beat reporter – but one day he just couldn’t get up for a deadline!
@8 here you go:
http://equityprivate.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2007/05/08/bess.jpg
“I Am CNBC” Take 62:
CG: “I enjoy the musky scent of my own grundle…”
Director: “CUT!!!”
Dear Mr. Gasparino,
My name is Timmy Walters. I am 10 years old. I want to be on TV just like you. You are a good newsperson. How can I be like you?
Your Fan,
Timmy Walters
________________________________________
Dear Timmy,
Let me tell you somethin’. You wanna be on TV? TV’s like bein’ a pig on a fuckin’ spit. You don’t wanna be on TV. These mooks, these mook jerk-offs with their little comments, this and that and the other, they come walkin’ up to you, tellin’ you how you gotta be on air. All the time I’ve gotta hear it from these pansy rat bastards. You don’t wanna be on TV. You don’t wanna be on TV. Capeesh?
-Charlie
CNBC Intern: “CNBC promotions “I Am CNBC”, Take 82″:
CG: “When hunting big game or a writing a big story, you have to exhale and squeeze one off so that…..
Director: “CUT!!!”
CNBC Intern: “CNBC promotions “I Am CNBC”, Take 82″:
CG: “When it comes to writing I like Hemingway, Hunter Thompson and Mario Puzo. For sports, I’m a big fan of the Yanks…
Director: “CUT!!!”
34!
@ 46 is that for real??! Hot damn.
No way that’s BL. No way!
BL sure looks alot like Natalie Portman in that pic…
@8, scroll all the way to the bottom. She has plastic wayfairers on…
http://guestofaguest.com/category/nyc-new-years-eve/
PS…are people still buying that KB joke?
@55 that pic makes her look like she has a mullet…
@55. No way she looks like that. I picture someone who looks more like A. Jospeh Cohen
@55/56, @55 here…
I think she looks pretty hot there, and guestofaguest said its her, so it must be true…
@46, that’s just a picture of Kate Bosworth.
@ 46, that is in fact a picture of Kate Bosworth.
@46 That’s Bess in her cameo from Superman Returns