The Post reports that Bank of America fractional owner (currently clocking in at 1.1 million shares) Jerry Finger may finally be granted the opportunity to tell the board everything it (and management) is doing wrong (actual words: “offer insight about how to fix the hobbled banking giant”). Presumably, slide number one will be a picture of the fellow at left, who Finger has been trying to send home in a body bag for months at this point. Bank of Amerillwide claimed in March that it had met with Mr. Finger “several times to hear his concerns and [attempt] to address them.” Assuming that wasn’t a lie, perhaps the term “meeting” was being loosely used to include “sent a first year out to the parking lot to stand there and nod his head every so often, cutting Finger off at around an hour.” This time, now that Big Jer has achieved a modicum of success by stripping Lewis of the chair role, maybe they’re rolling out the red carpet? More importantly, does this image from the Post‘s graphic department (whose work we’ve professed to be huge fans of on many occasions) make any sense whatsoever?
So Finger is God, and Lewis is Moses? It’s been a while but we’re pretty sure Moses was supposed to be sent by God to the Promise Land (after a 40 year journey), and Lewis being fired wouldn’t exactly be the same as an all-expenses paid trip to the Land of Milk and Honey. Unless a. the paper’s graphics guys really know their Jewish history, which is that Moses never actually made it there (dying first), and this is some kind of sick joke or b. they’re playing to the fact Lewis’s job right now is about as fun as a kabob stick to the urethra, and being told to leave really would be a gift?
Whether or not it makes sense, that graphic = my new wallpaper.
I’m gonna go with choice b)
#1 is right. Epic.
holy fuck that sacrilegious graphic is glorious.
Can we stop having fucking Ken Lewis stories! The guy is a fucking tool and I don’t have to be reminded about him every god-damned day. Sheesh!
ken lewis@5- you wanted to be famous baby, now you’re famous! mr. banker of the year.
Finger-banged.
GEORGE: Was there any nostril penetration?
JERRY: There may have been some incidental penetration. But from her angle she was in no position to make the call.
Is that so unforgivable? Is that like breaking a commandment? Did God say to Moses thou shalt not pick?
GEORGE: I guarantee you that Moses was a picker. You wander throughh the desert for forty years with that dry air. … You telling me you’re not going to have occasion to clean house a little bit.
Welcome, new comers. The tradition of Festivus begins with the airing of grievances. I got a lot of problems with you people! And now you’re gonna hear about it!
– “Finger” Constanza
I’m blowing that graphic up and putting it over my bed.
Can we get a Belmont odds story this morning?
Anyone else going out this weekend?
These comments should be funnier. Please try harder.
Could they have fit even one more phallic object in that picture (including the mushroom headed Lewis)? And what would happen if Kenny were to turn around and pull that stupendous finger?
Is that Porker Stansberry’s index finger?
Finger: (to the BAC board members) I think Mr. Lewis should be forced to resign.
Lewis: (to Finger) Maybe if you drank Boone’s with me, it would help. Maybe if you kissed me and I could taste the sting in your mouth it would help. If you drank Boone’s with me naked. If you smelled of Boone’s as you f****d me, it would help. It would increase my esteem for you. If you poured Boone’s onto your naked body and said to me “drink this”.
LOL. I have had a few email exchanges with BAC customer service over the last couple of weeks and last night I lost it on them. It was all I could do to not ask if everyone at BAC was drunk on Boone’s.
As I wrote my rant, I kept thinking “I’m going to email this entire clusterfuck to Bess once they respond”. Sadly, they fixed the error without responding…finally.
I should have copied my last response to them before sending but it never occurred to me that they’d simply fix the problem and not reply. It might have been a good story if I’d saved my last email to them with an ending of :crickets: from BAC, but alas, I really am a dumb MF’er and hit send without saving a copy.
But seriously. Do they serve Boone’s in the drinking fountains/cafeteria/bottled water dispenserss at BAC?
Service deteriorated once Kenny boy got his hands on BAC but the sheer incompetence has been breathtaking once he loaded up on Countrywide and ML, mostly on Countrywide.
Obvs, they retained too many shitty CW employees.