As many of you are aware, Bill Ackman lost his Target battle last week, a fight he's shed blood, sweat and tears over. Like, actual tears. As noted here on Thursday, the Pershing founder visibly choked up during his presentation. He didn't have to explain the show of raw emotion to us, or most of his hedge fund friends (like the SAC sisters in Stamford, who burst into tears on the regular during business hours, knowing the value of a good cry) but apparently Times reporter Joe Nocera begged to differ. While JoNo is no stranger to the difficulty finance gurus can have in reigning in their feelings when things don't necessarily go their way (he being a self-identified pal of Cliff Asness), the journalist was shocked (and sickened) by the display, writing Friday night:
I've seen my share of odd moments during annual meetings, but until Thursday I'd never seen a grown man cry during one.O.K., maybe "cry" is a bit of an overstatement for what happened. Still, it was pretty startling when, in the middle of his speech to Target Corporation shareholders, William A. Ackman, the hedge fund manager who had waged an expensive, high-profile proxy fight against the company, suddenly choked up and stopped speaking. He wiped away a tear.
Nocera goes on to say why he's puzzled by Ackman's battle, and corporate governance in general, and then more on the salty discharge coming out of BA's eyes, which you can read here. OR: you can read Ackman's 5,000+ word response, which he stayed up 'til dawn writing ("I haven't done an all-nighter since college," he told Joe in an email). For those of you for whom 5,000 is a bit too much, we say: go fuck yourselves! Kidding. But seriously. As Billy-boy put it to Nocera, when asked for a shorter version, "I think every word is important." So, so true. Nevertheless, here's the extremely short explanation of the crying:
he had his period.*
And a slightly longer one:
While reciting the spoken words for the first time at the meeting, I recognized the sublime significance of JFK's quotation that seemed so on point when I wrote my remarks that morning, but so far above the importance of what this mundane shareholder meeting was about. As I spoke these words in the meeting I was carried back to Kennedy's soaring oratory, and I briefly lost control of my emotions in a way that had not previously happened to me at a business occasion. The tear was not for the loss of a proxy contest as Mr. Nocera implies, but rather in recognition of the significance of JFK's words nearly 50 years ago. It may also have represented some amount of physical and emotional fatigue.
*Bill: You know how we feel about you. But we had to. We kid from a place of love. You get that, because you get us.






Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:44PM
He fuckin' cried? Really? Awwwww poor baby.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:44PM
WTF, Bill?
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:45PM
Umm... wasn't he crying because he lost hundreds of millions on his Target investment?
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:47PM
There's no crying in proxy battles!
-Carl Ichan
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:51PM
Ackman: The money is IN THE BANANA STAND. You idiot!
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:51PM
he should've gone with the short version.
Posted by Lowly Assistant , Jun 01, 2009 4:53PM
Do they sell Midol at target?
/Full disclosure: long KMB
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:54PM
God god, man!
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:57PM
lol wut
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 4:58PM
Doh, the box on Form ADV part II regarding crying in public will now have to be checked.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:03PM
Real men aren't ashamed to cry.
-SAC shemale
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:05PM
Thank goodness he didn't try to quote the soaring oratory of B Obama...he'd have been a puddle.
http://images.nictusa.com/cgi-bin/fecimg/?27990253979
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:07PM
@12- this is about bill ackman crying, stfu trying to politicize it.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:07PM
@12- STAY ON MESSAGE or leave.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:09PM
The best comment from the New York Times readers:
My God. What a tendentious, self-pitying, self-aggrandizing load of hogswallop. Really, Bill, really? There was no way you could cut a few thousand words of this tripe in order to get your points across?
The Sermon on the Mount was shorter than your letter, and I believe the author of that document took Himself far less seriously than you appear to do.
Seriously, man, you are a fiduciary representative to a collection of investors (whom, by the way, you have lost an empirically verifiable ton of money) who I imagine expect you to act with more professionalism than this whiny, self-absorbed apologia even begins to demonstrate. I am sure we are all sorry that Joe hurt your feelings, but frankly, Bill, no-one really cares that much. Move on.
— The Epicurean Dealmaker
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:10PM
@15- No! Every word is important!
-- Bill
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 01, 2009 5:13PM
Someone needs to get Ackman some of SAC's hormone therapy, stat (Testosterone though, I think there's enough estrogen given the crying, pretty doe eyes and whatnot)
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:14PM
@15; It was an asston.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:15PM
@anal_yst-- um, SAC's only form of hormone therapy is estrogen, so not sure how that'd help the guy.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:18PM
I have it on good authority that Ackman actually has a vagina.
And that Jeff Macke ravaged said vagina after an 18 hour coke fueled binge, right before he went on the air with Kneale et al. Hence his odd behavior.
Posted by BSD , Jun 01, 2009 5:19PM
That cute Target bulldog bit his nuts off.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:27PM
I cried when I saw how much I am getting at Pimco.
-Tony Crescenzi
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:32PM
Would JFK have also started a one stock fund?
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:34PM
@23- I like to think so.
-- WA
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:38PM
Bill must have ripped his mangina again.
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:39PM
WTF was that asterisk about? You going soft, Bess?
Posted by Bess Levin , Jun 01, 2009 5:45PM
@26- I don't want to set off the waterworks.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 01, 2009 5:47PM
@19
Ya always gotta have a little testosterone on-hand just in case
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:49PM
@analyst: no, and I'm offended you'd even make the suggestion.
- SAC head estrogen injector
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 5:50PM
ACKWOMANN
Posted by EricM , Jun 01, 2009 7:06PM
Well, there goes the whole 'he's got Billy Ackman eyes' thing...
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 7:12PM
Mr. Ackman kind of looks like Michael Corleone, especially in the restaurant scene. Check it out.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_zgRVns69m3Y/SXV__aztz1I/AAAAAAAAAcc/kD0ZEmfo5hU/s320/Al-Pacino---The-Godfather-Photograp.jpg
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 7:42PM
JO&C, AckAck. JO&C
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 9:27PM
Next time you get a physical ask your friendly family doctor this:
How do you make a hormone?
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 9:36PM
@34- I'll bite. How?
Posted by guest , Jun 01, 2009 10:37PM
I am a reformed poster, but this one made me almost post. Please stop on this lipstick wearing male or I will need to divulge all my thoughts.
Posted by guest , Jun 02, 2009 7:39AM
@36- please do!
--William A.
Posted by guest , Jun 02, 2009 9:48AM
@35
I believe @34 is making a Chu v. retarded TX congressman joke.
-Nominate me