As previously mentioned, I had dinner last night with, among others, Charlie Gasparino. We dined at Campagnola, which was CG's pick, natch, as he has been going there for years, and the owners have a lax policy on unlicensed firearms and underage drinking. Before CG got there (he was taping Kudlow, who disappointingly did not join us), we did a little investigative reporting with the other regulars. Some blonde British lady who goes way back with CG very excitedly told us about the time a few years ago when Chaz had an altercation at Campagnola with Lance Armstrong. Apparently One Ball had appeared on CNBC earlier that day to discuss his sponsorship of a mutual fund and Charlie brought up the matter of doping rumors, which did not please Lance, and there was a bit of an on air tiff.
Coincidentally they both ended up at the restaurant that night, and friend insisted on introducing Chaz to OB, who pointed his finger in Gaspo's face and said, "You're an asshole." At first Charlie was (suspiciously) apologetic and told Lance how great he was "on the tube" and what an ace guest he was at handling CG's tough line of questioning. But Lance was having none of it, and continued to insist that no, Charlie was an asshole, that everyone on CNBC is an idiot and that he'd never do the show again. Charlie then told OB that he was sure CNBC could get someone else to come on his place and to have "a shitty fucking dinner."
We were also regaled, by Sal the maitre d', with a story about Chaz coming in for a drink a couple weeks after BSC went down for the dirt nap, and having a table full of Bear guys get up in his grill and make claims he was a two-bit reporter. Things got "openly hostile." Gasps told them "I feel bad if you lost your job but I was just doing my job." They continued tell CG how much he sucked, to which he finally responded, "Any time, anywhere, I don't care how many of you there are." Boom. Done.
I couldn't recall this morning what Gaspo had ordered but was reminded by another member of our party that he got an app of baked clams and shrimp, then half a chicken (which he put ketchup on), steamed spinach, and at least 7 [Update: Charlie tells me it was more like 10] martinis. I do recall that before our entrees came Chaz made a point to alert me that he hadn't touched any of the sopressat' on the table, though I suspect he had them wrap it up (plus whatever was left in the kitchen) for him to take home and tear into later. The famous "Eddie," who runs a family-owned chain of gay strip clubs, wasn't able to attend but toward the end of dinner a guy purporting to be Charlie's brother joined us (they looked nothing alike so I requested to see his driver's license, which did in fact bear the Gaspo name, though I remain not entirely convinced). CG tipped $100 on a pretax bill of $350, and at one point got very serious and insisted I report back that he has "a fetish for flossing and gargling," then whipped out a case of floss and a travel sized bottle of Scope to prove it. We then went to Elaine's where one guy at the table passed out and fell off his chair, which Charlie maintains he had nothing to do with. Here are the answers to your questions I was allowed to print (a decent number of them I was barred from sharing, unless I had an interest in ending up in a body bag).
Do you use moisturizer on your hands or face?
Never.
What do you think of David Faber's book?
I haven't read it yet. I'm too busy penning the definitive book on this crisis.
Is Jeff Macke writing the forward to your book?
No, there's no forward. I get right into it.
When are you going to dye your hair, which is going gray? Up top and below deck.
The hairs on my head, never. As for downtown, tell whoever asked that, oo gatz, like my mother used to say.
What kind of cologne do you wear?
Addidas sport set at the gym, Old Spice on the job, Drakkar Noir for special occasions.
Is your right wrist bigger than your left, as a result of repeated jacking?
No, they're the same size, because it takes two hands. You need firm grip. Write that down.
Do you and DRat grill burgers and drink cold ones together on the weekends?
He's a friend, that's all I'll say. He's amazing. As for my weekends, all I'll say is you can find me in a guinea tee.
Do you fancy yourself a Carlo or a Sollozzo?
Neither, but want to hear something? The guy who played Carlo-- Gianni Russo-- is a good friend of mine. For years. [Ed: this upsets me greatly, as I love Sonny and HATE Carlo.] And the restaurant where Michael pops one in his forehead, Louis' Italian American Restaurant on White Plains Road in the Bronx was my father's favorite joint, lived across the street. Beautiful chicken parm.
Yan or Sasha?
Yan was the best barber in Russia, taught his son Sasha everything he knows. I'm a Yan guy. Used to be on 21st and 1st, now Astor Place. 15 bucks for a cut, though all Dealbreaker readers wear wigs (to go with their dresses) so I doubt they'll check it out.
Where did you lose your virginity?
Back seat of a VW Beetle. My brother, who is a tenth degree blackbelt, lost it at 13.
Boxers, briefs or nada?
Boxers.
How much would it take to get you in the ring with Dennis Kneale?
I like Dennis Kneale, there'd be no reason to do that [Ed. this is suspect, obviously]. I don't do boxing anymore, maybe in my younger days, when I was at my fighting weight and was a Golden Gloves finalist.
In terms of getting built, besides roids, which would you suggest: Muscle Milk, raw eggs, or protein shakes?
Protein shakes, definitely.
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Jun 25, 2009 3:35PM
YES!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:36PM
One Ball? Harsh.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:37PM
Bold?
Close your tags, Bess.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:38PM
Bess, I applaud you.
Well done.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:39PM
He lost his cherry to his brother??? Sicker than i though
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:41PM
"oo gatz" means "eat my balls." charlie's mom used to say this?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:41PM
No, how often do you massacre the pec deck? or how did you get so jacked and tan?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:42PM
I'm going long HNZ
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:42PM
Stanford looks fetching in Orange.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/8119182.stm
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:43PM
@7 that question was answered in Bess's last CG post (when he told us his workout routine).
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:44PM
Drakkar Noir for special occasions.
Seriously?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:48PM
@11 yes.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 25, 2009 3:51PM
@6
Yes, that's exactly what he (and she) said.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:51PM
"My brother, who is a tenth degree blackbelt, lost it at 13."
What does karate have to do with fucking?
I love CG.
And thanks for throwing in the Yan v. Sasha debate. FWIW, Sasha's better...
-LA
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:52PM
ketchup on chicken. straight class.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:53PM
Did the blonde British lady look and sound like Vicky Ward?
Posted by Investorcluzo , Jun 25, 2009 3:54PM
hell.to.the.fk.yeah! go bess. I'm sure he prepped the staff with all those stories, so let's discount that at the small/illiquid company rate. drakkar??? c'mon, do they still sell that in stores - or just the places on broadway south of herald square? astor place? nfw! I went to that place for 10 years and didn't see that guy in there once - nor is his pic on the wall. guess he doesn't count as a celeb to them...
Posted by NAS Keflavik boi , Jun 25, 2009 3:55PM
"oo gatz" is bad southern dialect for "Un' cazzo", which means literally, "a dick", and colloquially, (go suck a / my) dick.
"coglioni" is balls, often mispropnounced by illiterate italo-americans from Bensonhurst and the south shore of Nassau as "coione"
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:55PM
Bess rocks
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:55PM
Fuckin C-Gasp is awesome!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:56PM
Charlie, I salute you. To sit down (and pay for) dinner with Bess, and to actually answer most of the embarrassing questions this group sent your way--you deserve recognition.
Tomorrow I will return to bashing you.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:58PM
Thanks for the candid look at Gasbag - he is as big a douche as I imagined!
Posted by InfiniteGuest , Jun 25, 2009 3:58PM
Wednesday night, Campagnola, catsup, doesn't touch the sopressata. There's a pattern in there, somewhere.
http://dealbreaker.com/2008/01/eating_out_on_charlie_gasparin.php
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:58PM
this has to be fake. is there any way he could keep maria's fat ass out of the conversation? i don't believe it.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:59PM
@Anal_yst at 13: Sounds like you were there. You the one who passed out at Elaine's? Someone slip you a roofie?
Posted by Meatbone9 , Jun 25, 2009 3:59PM
Thanks Bess. Well if Lance thinks the Growth and Income fund is aces I should own it too hahaha. I was always torn, I liked Lance in Dodgeball, enjoy the fact that the French hate us more because of him, but he does seem like a dck. I would have enjoyed a CG/OB fight. No Sambuca?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 3:59PM
Gasbag Special Occasion: Not pulling his pud for three days, telling his mom he needed to go to bed early, slinking upstairs, locking the door, slipping into a fresh new outfit from Chess King, dousing himself in Drakkar, floss, gargle, proceed to double-fist it 'til shooting a batch large enough to fill the space between Greg's ears.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:04PM
He banged his brother?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:04PM
WITCH KNEAD THEM MUTT STEAKS SOW EYE CAN QUELL THE MOOSEY INSIDES!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:05PM
The Drakkar for special occasions bit is just too crazy. This has to be a joke, Bess. Is he still in 9th grade trying to fingerbang the preacher's daughter on the bus?
Bess, did you keep a straight face asking him about pubic dying?
Why does it not surprise me that if CG got into a fight with any laid off workers, it would be a bunch of guys from Bear. Any other place would strike me as odd...bear...not so much.
-Nominate me
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:07PM
@21 I like your style
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:08PM
Gasparino
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:11PM
Oh come on! You didn't ask the obvious! How much of his "breaking news" and material does he steal from Dealbreaker?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:13PM
Did you ask him how frequently he comments on DB as "guest?"
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:13PM
He shoulda taken the over (Sollozzo), who was a visionary regarding the narcotics boom. I'd give him a pass, except for the ketchup. I'd still kill him, but it would be business, just business.
Posted by TGNC , Jun 25, 2009 4:13PM
Gotta ask Bess...Do you remember what you ordered? Kinda makes me wonder who fell off the stool at Elaines? Any unusual bruises Bess? If CG had seven 'tinis what libations did you enjoy?
Posted by Bess Levin , Jun 25, 2009 4:14PM
@33 "Here are the answers to your questions I was allowed to print (a decent number of them I was barred from sharing, unless I had an interest in ending up in a body bag)."
@36 I ordered steak, rare, but focused more on my vodka gimlets.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:16PM
http://newsbizarre.com/2009/06/maria-belen-chapur-photo-mark-stanford.html
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:16PM
17- his pic IS on the wall at astor- I was there on tuesday. It is on the right on your way our the door by the little waiting area.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:17PM
http://newsbizarre.com/2009/06/maria-belen-chapur-photo-mark-stanford.html
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:18PM
Fail Bess, now I'll never know the secret to those soft hands.
- "Two fist Freddy" (from the Equinox steam room)
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Jun 25, 2009 4:18PM
@36: Bess is a vodka gimlet girl.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:21PM
Next week, Greg has dinner with Robert Kiyosaki, esteemed author of Rich Dad Poor Dad and personal friend of Donald Trump.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:23PM
Who can drink 10 martinis? What do they make them with, water?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:23PM
#10,12,20,31 = Clearly CG.
Stop reading DB and get back to work Chaz Gazz.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 25, 2009 4:23PM
@25
I take the FIF!
Posted by onetwo , Jun 25, 2009 4:23PM
Actually, Besser and I split the steak. Quite romantic.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:24PM
No matter what you say, charlie is hawt
Posted by TGNC , Jun 25, 2009 4:25PM
@40 (Greg) I guess it's kinda newsworthy, but posting pictures of that Argentine skank when we're all talkin' about Bess's date seem grossly inappropriate. Please don't let that happen again!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:27PM
yeah, CG answered both of my dumb ass questions. Can go home now.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:29PM
After a number of gimlets it may have been a CG tube-steak
Posted by Investorcluzo , Jun 25, 2009 4:31PM
@onetwo lives!
@39 - hmmmm, I haven't been there in over a year. I'll take your word for it. that said, it is astor...
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:33PM
"I'm too busy penning the definitive book on this crisis."
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:34PM
@51 shut your filthy whore mouth
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:35PM
Greg is actually having dinner with the author of Everybody Poops.
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Jun 25, 2009 4:38PM
@51 maybe just a tad much? And Bess can hold her liquor.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:40PM
Ah shit, you succeeded in making a mensch out of him. Now I just have two complaints about Charlie. 1) He never uses a sentence when a paragragph will do; 2) (On air anyway) Nuclear is his first option at the slightest perceived provocation, ex: Anchor - "So Charlie, why do you say that?" Charlie - "Look, I'm the reporter here, right? You asked me to be here, right? If you shut up I'll tell you."
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:41PM
Is this for real? There are elements that are really beyond belief: catsup on the chicken, Drakkar Noir, whipping out the floss, a guy in the party passing out later at Elaines. And 10 martinis is beyond beyond-belief: essentially impossible.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:42PM
I was one of the Bear guys at the table next to him....True story
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:44PM
@38/40 That looks like Maria B. needing a collagen top-off.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:45PM
I'd give my left nut to have both of them back...
Lance
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:48PM
Bess, you should do a monthly series. Next up: Stevie.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:49PM
59 So the Bear story is true. That happened a year ago - has nothing to do with what was purported to go on last night.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:49PM
@57 "Nuclear is his first option at the slightest perceived provocation"
true, but that's what makes watching him entertaining.
Posted by TGNC , Jun 25, 2009 4:49PM
@61 FTW!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:50PM
@63 "has nothing to do with what was purported to go on last night. "
that's why bess relayed it as something that'd happened in the past.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:51PM
I continue to be doubtful, if for no other reason than that Italians find catsup repulsive. Ditto mayo.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:52PM
66 I know that. But 59 is offering it up as support for the story above.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:57PM
epic Ms. Bess
Posted by NAS Keflavik boi , Jun 25, 2009 4:59PM
@ 67 ha ragione...
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 4:59PM
but how did the evening end? I'm thinkg a bit of flexing in the mirror while hittin' bess from behind was in order..
Posted by onetwo , Jun 25, 2009 5:22PM
Actually, Besser and I split the steak. Quite romantic.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 5:24PM
@14 "What does karate have to do with fucking?"
when you're CG: everything.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:17PM
"Where did you lose your virginity?"
"Back seat of a VW Beetle. My brother, who is a tenth degree blackbelt, lost it at 13"
So...CG lost his virginity to his brother. I knew there had to be a pathology behind his excessive anger. Accept yourself and get out of the closet!!!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:21PM
@27: I was gonna give 22 a quick FTW, but then I scrolled down and read your masterpiece.
Golf claps to you, sir!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:29PM
@53: "I'm too busy penning the definitive book on this crisis."
Barry Ritholtz beat him to it.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:35PM
76 = barry r.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:42PM
@74 And answers the question: how many guerillas can fit into the backseat of a VW beetle?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:48PM
*gorilla = I'll go home now.
-78
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 6:50PM
Bess, I begged you not to take your eyes off your drink but I salute you for the quick thinking involved in swapping drinks with the guy who ended the evening passed out at Elaine's.
BTW, who passed out? Also, what led to this dinner invitation?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 7:10PM
TGFD just tuned in.
CG wears Old Spice cologne "on the job".
Well, so does TGFD, although I don't have much of a job anymore. I wear the Old Spice all the time now.
Tip for the DB clowns who have difficulty with chicks. Not that it will guarantee your success, but try Old Spice. The chicks like it.
Also, since P&G took over Shulton (decades ago), Old Spice has gradually become 'watered down'.
Solution? Get the real Old Spice cologne and after shave, the one with the square-rigger on the bottle, from the 1960's, 70's and even earlier.
Where? Get it on eBay, lads. Plenty of it there. The white bottle, original scent only. No Lime, Musk, Burley, or Fresh are necessary. The original is the best. Different from what's out there today. Stronger, with a faint scent of talcum are what make the old stuff the best.
TGFD has a stash of Old Spice you wouldn't believe. I even have a few gift sets from the late 1930's that TGFD breaks into for special occasions, and Mrs. TGFD has a nice collection of "Old Spice for Women" from the early 1940's that she uses from time to time. That stuff is nice, to say the least.
Now that TGFD knows CG wears Old Spice, I figure he can't be all that bad.
Best to all,
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 7:37PM
THANKS BESS, one question was answered but the other "who is Erin Burnett dating" is a top secret THAT when answered you'll end up in body bag.I got it!
Posted by Last Man Standing , Jun 25, 2009 8:48PM
I Fuckin hate Elaine, she reminds me of my ex mother-in-law, only thinner.
half a roast chicken with ketchup??? only guys i know who order that are the ones whose wives are waiting up for them ready to ask "what did you order for dinner?" and they cant pass off a lie and say they ordered the half a chicken when they had the t-bone, bloody,so they actually have to order the half chicken. wankers.
that being said I know I speak for all the readers (select few excluded, girl, Anal etc) of DB when i say CG is one lucky bastard, got himself a sit-down with Bess....
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 9:18PM
How do you say "suck my uniball" in Italian?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 9:50PM
@TGFD
All I can say is WOW!
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:19PM
"Charlie then told OB...to have "a shitty fucking dinner.""
amazing
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:24PM
"Drakkar Noir for special occasions."
That one had me fucking rollin'! This guinea is ghetto as fuck!!!
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Jun 25, 2009 10:31PM
@83: Elaine's thinner then your ex-mother-in-law? What, was she half human/half hippo?
Posted by bateman , Jun 25, 2009 10:35PM
cg, try getting a reservation at dorsia now you stupid f&ing bastard.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:45PM
TGFD FTW is on point here. Any girl who doesn't secretly love the smell of Old Spice, never had a father.
(Any guy wearing cologne/body spray/scent to the gym is quietly trolling for reach-arounds in the steam room)
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 10:59PM
TGFD is posting too much on this site under too many different personalities. I am not sure what to expect out of TGFD anymore. TGFD is an enigma.
The Guy From Delaware.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 11:03PM
is putting cologne on before going to the gym a normal thing?
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 11:10PM
CG sell, TGFD buy.
Posted by Last Man Standing , Jun 25, 2009 11:25PM
@88 that was the point, the ex was huge with a mouth to match. just like elaine.
Posted by guest , Jun 25, 2009 11:34PM
@Last Man-- ELAINE is huge. like 300 lbs huge. you're saying your ex mother in law was bigger than that?
Posted by merkin capital partners , Jun 25, 2009 11:54PM
@ 90...never had a father...by whom she was raped?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 5:53AM
@90-I had a father and I don't secretly love Old Spice.
@87-Me too, what a ghetto stink.
@81-Just say no,no,no. If your wife says she loves it, she just means (and I shudder when I type this) that she actually loves you enough to excuse the stench you exude (Cool Water is another gagger).
For a cheap cologne turn on (instead of barf-inducing) may I suggest Lauder for Men?
I can't explain what's in it that makes it hot to me, but it is. It smells sexy as hell to me and I'm just going to stop there 'cuz it just got too hot and steamy inside my head and memories.
-Just another girl reading dealbreaker
P.S. If any Lauder reps want to contact me for product endorsements, see Bess first.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 11:15AM
Someone go get me some "Lauder for Men".......
Mark S
Shitferbranes, SC
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 11:20AM
Lass@#97...
TGFD's opinion here.
To me you sound lonely and somewhat angry. A lost love, perhaps? One that you've not been able to replace?
Old Spice has been around since 1937, and it has certainly outlasted many men's and women's fragrances that have come and gone, and that are now forgotten.
For women, Chanel No. 5 is the exception, always fresh and unstained. It neither fades nor grows stale.
It matches its creator, Coco Chanel, a woman whose lengthy but fleeting affair with HIH the Grand Duke Dimitri Pavlovich, was always said to be her finest, and the one that was truly irreplaceable and unforgetable.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 8:28PM
What TGFD said about Old Spice...The chicks do like it...Look...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9t0z04Qz61Q
Old Spice is the best.
The Guy from Delaware
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2009 10:07AM
Great article, Bess. Also, is TGFD off of probation? He's destroying DB again.
Posted by guest , Jun 30, 2009 10:26AM
I bet he does recommend protein shakes....
I can't think of a bigger ass that is put on TV , maybe Oriely sometimes . But CG as you call him is an ass every time the camera is on his face...from this article it appears he is an ass all the time so it is easy for him to stay in character...