Yesterday Charlie Gasparino "graded" Citi CEO Vikram Pandit. Because why not. Pandit, according to Gasparino, scored an A minus for "intelligence," and a C minus for "execution of business plan." Today Chaz received some very angry phone calls from the Big C, which wanted to know where he got off giving Vikram such low marks. Not the C minus, mind you, either because no gives a rat's ass or because, more likely, they're in agreement with the grade. The aspect of the "report" Citi has major trubs with is the intelligence section. They are apparently claiming Vikram deserves "an A plus." So that's why they took at least five minutes to get upset about this, get Gasparino on the horn, and let the words "Vikram deserves an A plus" on this imaginary test exit their mouths. Let that all sink in for a sec.
Good? Okay. Now, yesterday, you'll recall, we shot a little WTF of our own in Gasparino's direction, sort of over Doctor Pandito getting only an A minus, but mostly over the notion that the Mensa society in Englewood Cliffs is judging anyone's intelligence. And also, more generally, because we're Dealbreaker and that's what we do. See, our acknowledgment of the story is okay because we = local yokels. Then you have Citi.
Citi is trying desperately to not be the local yokels of the banking industry, and then coming in and pulling shit like this. We find it amusing, sure, but we're not Citi shareholders, who would probably like to know a) why in God's name someone responded to this in an official capacity and b) why no one cares about the C minus for the whole "running of the company" portion of the test.
In related news, someone would like me to tell you that Charlie Gasparino grew up with and went to high school (i.e. was educated alongside) Greg Valentino. This guy. The guy in the picture. That should put all of this in even more perspective, if any was necessary.
(All this being said, we wouldn't be opposed to Bank of America publicly flipping out over, what leaks tell us, is Gasparino's grade of a B plus for Ken Lewis's skills when it comes to crushing beer cans across his forehead. He is an A student, hands down. The D minus for execution of business plan seems fair.)
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:14PM
Hot damn, I love to live vicariously through C-Gas.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:14PM
Vikram, get that shine box ready.
-Billy Batts
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:15PM
Your tax dollars at work. Way to go Big C!
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:18PM
Thanks a lot, Louis Ziccareli.
Posted by merkin capital partners , Jun 10, 2009 2:22PM
is that the state bird of new jersey?
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:26PM
Is that the new and improved Gaspacino?
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:28PM
@6- read the post, and you'll find the answer is no.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:30PM
never underestimate citi's ability to look stupid (even with an A+ ceo).
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:31PM
Bess - I don't come to this site so I can stare at pics of Gregger's boyfriend. Seems unprofessional. Just sayin'...
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:35PM
So, just so that I am clear on this point, that is the new and improved Gaspacini?
Posted by HAM05 , Jun 10, 2009 2:36PM
this 'just sayin...' thing has 'jumped the shark' - see what i did there
seriously, stop sayin
Posted by Perkins Maxwell , Jun 10, 2009 2:36PM
If C is staffed with PR morons stupid enough to actually respond on the record to his comment, and if that's indicative of the quality of talent over there, then that C- grade is way too high... way to go charlie for actually landing a fish with this bait.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:40PM
Gasparino is just trying to get publicity for his book
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:41PM
it's scary when cg is the one who comes off better.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:41PM
@ 5, winner
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:44PM
That guy is a pussy.
FACE!
Posted by Porker Stankleberry , Jun 10, 2009 2:52PM
Are you sure it wasn't His Assness, Mr. Cliff, who responded on behalf of Count Vikula?
Because that sort of PR moronicity is hard to find.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:53PM
Why wouldn't they just hire some goons to rough CG up in the Equinox steam room where he usually lurks
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:56PM
That guy is who Bess dated after Tim Sykes
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:56PM
Jersey shore anyone?
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 2:58PM
@19- you need a new (actually funny) joke about who bess is dating, as the tim sykes one never was (funny or correct).
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:00PM
@21 (bess) At least you didn't delete it
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:01PM
@21 - I don't get it.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:11PM
@21/Tim:
shut up
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:13PM
Meanwhile, on Erin Today:
Matt Lauer determined to "geld (sic) that filly." NBCUni takes champion 3-year old for circus pony. Erin knocking down treys from all over the court in garbage time.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:20PM
@22- not bess, just sick of the dumb joke.
-21
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:32PM
how can you be sick of any joke if you read db?
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:34PM
Despite rocky beginnings, Bess is my girl now.
-- Snake Plissken
Posted by Clown Capital , Jun 10, 2009 3:41PM
"Yeah I f**kin' grunt when I get my swell on at the gym. That's so everybody can see how tan and jacked I am..."
- Greg Valentino
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 3:41PM
Ran into Jocko here the other night while I was out with my lady. This buffoon acts like he wants to cut in cuz he's got big mucsles and all. So I set him straight that just because I ain't built like Magilla Gorilla don't think I'm gonna be shittin' myself at the sight of this freak, and I told him so. I then enlighten this bag of chemicals and hot air that I have yet to see mucsle trump lead - if you get my drift, and for insurance I always carry me a straight razor ala Leroy Brown. So, I then tell pen dick that if he don't want me carvin' my name in his forehead with my razor he had better step aside and go find one of his steroid pals to slow dance with cuz Homey don't play. Well needless to say the big fella gets his feelings hurt and next thing ya know we got a fullfledged case of roid rage brewin'. The goon bows up like he's gonna kick my ass and show me how much the gym has helped his pugilistic skills, when before this clown knows what happens I give 'im the ole Glassgow kiss. He hits the ground like a bag a sand, and for good measure I give him the boot to the twig an berries. I then grabbed my girl and prceeded to leave the joint. It was at that point that Gasparino says to me "damn son, C- for intelligence, but a solid A+ for effort".
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 4:08PM
let's send greg valentino round to chazza's crib to see if he can't get a grade improvement for vikki out of the gas.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 4:15PM
@29 FTW !!
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 4:27PM
@29. Not now chief I'm in the zone.
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 4:41PM
where's the muscle milk, ma'?!?!
Posted by guest , Jun 10, 2009 4:41PM
"Are you sure it wasn't His Assness, Mr. Cliff, who responded on behalf of Count Vikula?
Because that sort of PR moronicity is hard to find."
I think you might be on to something.