Dow Jones reports that a group of ex-Citi dwellers (Antonio Cacorino, formerly of Citi's global corporate and investment-bank management committee, Frederick Chapey, who was head of global structured credit derivatives, Robert Cummings, former head of Citi's European credit products distribution and Sohail Kahn, former managing director responsible for legacy-asset remediation efforts) are starting themselves a hedge fund. It will be called Old Lane The Sequel, and they'll be selling it to Citi for a trillion dollars in 3-5 years. Just fucking with you (about the name, not the prediction, which we'll revisit at a later date), they actually went with something worse: StormHarbour Partners LP. I get that it was probably intended to sound dangerous and whatnot, but there are a lot of other, dryer, natural disasters you could go with that don't lend themselves jokes about being underwater. Then again, earlier ideas are said to have included Katrina Capital and Golden Shower Management, so I guess this is preferable.






Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 10:59AM
Bukkake Capital Partners
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:00AM
How can I get in on the ground floor?
-- Snake Plissken
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:01AM
What's so bad about being underwater?
--Ken Griffin
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:04AM
Game Ends Capital Management
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:05AM
NAMBLA Capital Management
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:05AM
Ass Bleeding Capital
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:06AM
@4 fantastic
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:09AM
@5 just noticed that NAMBLA is an anagram for Man Bal
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:13AM
@3...brutal!!!
This news makes me feel better about the name of my hedge fund:
Mount St. Helens Pinto Firestone 500 DC-10 Hindenburg Global Warming Swine Flu Capital Management LLC.
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:15AM
Anyone else hear about the cuts at BarCap today?
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:21AM
Barclays Capital
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:22AM
AQR Capital
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:27AM
Credit Crunch Capital
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:28AM
Credit Crunch Capital or Canned Capital
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:28AM
Love the British spelling of StormHarbour.
I bet Ye Olde Lane would have had stellar returns.
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:29AM
I do like the idea of naming funds the sequel to disasters of epic proportions (Amaranth the Sequel, AQR 2, etc).
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:34AM
I work at Citi, what is a hedge fund?
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 11:39AM
I vote we revert to Olde Fashioned Spelling of everything:
Ye Olde Porne Shoppe, for example.
Posted by Tax Chick , Jun 23, 2009 11:52AM
Capitan Crunch Capital LLC or Mini Tarp Fund, LLC
Posted by TGNC , Jun 23, 2009 11:55AM
Cramer Capital Management
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:05PM
Fred and Tony's LLC.
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:13PM
Argh Matey! Me thinks Captin' Crunch Capital be a fitting name for these scallywags seeings how the Rockefeller Club be shutting its doors til Davy Jones be coming back and these Gentlemen o' fortune will have no place to get good grog.
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:18PM
Cilantro Capital
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:22PM
OnlyOurOwn Capital
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:28PM
Ponzi Action LLC
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:35PM
Robert Cummings, manager of the Fountain Fund
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:37PM
Dykstra Car Wash, Stock Portfolio, and Celebrity Estate Emporium LLC
--p.s., we sell whacky flailing arm inflatable tubemen in Mets and Phillies uniforms, as well.
-Jim Cramer, CEO
Posted by Billy Ray Human , Jun 23, 2009 12:38PM
Tinderbox Capital LLC
http://bit.ly/bXPfO
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 12:48PM
A2M Partners
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 1:26PM
Great writing, finally. Especially the "fuck with you" part.
Posted by Anal_yst , Jun 23, 2009 2:05PM
Golden Shower Capital is def the best name, or maybe Cleveland Steamer Cap, that works too.
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 2:09PM
@analyst- but cleveland steamer cap doesn't have the same "drowning" connotation.
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 2:45PM
Chlamydia Capital Partners
Posted by guest , Jun 23, 2009 2:48PM
Short Term Capital Mismanagement