Picture 1574.png1. He came clean all by himself
2. He’s been a good boy
3. He didn’t kill anyone, per se
4. He’s going to be dead in 13. 12 would practically be putting him away for life.

Affording due consideration to Mr. Madoff’s voluntary surrender, full acceptance of his responsibility, meaningful cooperation efforts, and in light of the non-violent nature of his offense, Mr. Madoff should be sentenced to a term just short of effective life imprisonment. Mr. Madoff is 71 years old and has an approximate life expectancy of 13 years. A prison term of 12 years–just short of an effective life sentence — will sufficiently address the goals of deterrence, and promoting respect for the law without being “greater than necessary” to achieve them.

Bernie Madoff’s Lawyers Would Like Him to Celebrate His Last Birthday Out of Prison [Daily Intel]

Comments (58)

  1. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 12:59 PM

    Why give him one year of life when he took away decades of retirement for others?

  2. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:00 PM

    We all know vampires don’t die of old age.

  3. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:01 PM

    One could argue that he’s been running for the past 30-40 years, only coming clean when he knew that he was caught, but I think this overestimates the abilities of the SEC.

  4. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:02 PM

    Ponzi Boy didn’t kill anyone. He just took their money and gave it to others.
    A modern day Robin Hood.

  5. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    Why give him one year of life when he took away decades of retirement for others?

  6. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:03 PM

    the asshole will definitely live longer than 13 yrs

  7. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    Why give him one year of life when he took away decades of retirement for others?

  8. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:04 PM

    One could argue that he’s been running for the past 30-40 years, only coming clean when he knew that he was caught, but I think this overestimates the abilities of the SEC.

  9. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    Ponzi Boy didn’t kill anyone. He just took their money and gave it to others.
    A modern day Robin Hood.

  10. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:06 PM

    @7, @8
    You are not helping your cause by making multiple posts … just sayin’

  11. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    Why give him one year of life when he took away decades of retirement for others?

  12. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:07 PM

    @7, @8
    You are not helping your cause by making multiple posts … just sayin’

  13. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    What in gods name is he wearing?

  14. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:10 PM

    @12
    Sorry. The website kept timing out and I didn’t know the posts were getting through.

  15. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    You did the crime now do the time, Bernie. Life has been made miserable for so many people in your wake. Sure, some were douchey trust funders whose luck seemed to have balanced out in doing dealings with you, but some decent people who were completely fucked. It’s time you start grabbing your ankles and learning how to squeal like a pig.
    -A. Stanford

  16. Posted by merkin capital partners | June 23, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    Obama “95% cured of smoking”. Just like my coke habit.

  17. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    @gherkin- he shouldn’t have even glorified that the question of that bitch in braces.

  18. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:15 PM

    @16 i did cocaine once… for 20 years.
    –L. Kudlow

  19. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:17 PM

    @18 nice

  20. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:17 PM

    Imagine him in a pair of Ronaldo shorts.

  21. Posted by Anal_yst | June 23, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    @18
    only 20?

  22. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:18 PM

    16 last 5% Acapulco Gold.

  23. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:19 PM

    @21. I like to round down….

  24. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:20 PM

    The President should probably pardon him.
    Bernie took money from the useless, idle rich and recycled it back into the economy thereby helping boost (low skill/barriers to entry) jobs in the service sector.
    Isn’t that ‘Change We Can Believe In’?

  25. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    Mexico is just a bigger, fatter, Colombia. Almost nobody has balls there. The US is whacking those cunts with Delta Force- type ops just like in Irag/Afghanistan and finds it less difficult in a sense because they have no ideology except greed. So….easy to kill the head…..Shit…let’s just blame the Spanish for being such morons…

  26. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:21 PM

    So many people live to be 100 these days. A twelve year sentence would give him 16 years to spend down his stash. Nice deal.

  27. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:25 PM

    couple ideas @ how to do him?……..

  28. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    With the way he is dressed, he looks like he belongs on the set of Willy Wonka.

  29. Posted by EvilBuzzard | June 23, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    If several defrauded invewtors get to choose which porison he gets sent, and who Madoff shares a cell with; I’m cool with this one.

  30. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    What was the relationship btwn him and GS?

  31. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:35 PM
  32. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:36 PM

    More mexican coke sharks please.

  33. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    @31: why doesn’t the whole comments board scrape together some change and go Animal House style…

  34. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    I’m no legal expert here, but I’d imagine a 12 year sentence versus a life sentence would make a difference when it comes to parole hearings.

  35. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:45 PM

    The real question here is: why give him one year of life when he took away decades of retirement for others?

  36. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:50 PM

    13 year life expectancy? I’ll take the under.
    A few congjugal visits fromRuthie’s dried up clam and he will off himself in under 5.

  37. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 1:53 PM

    I ask you, Dear readers of DB: shouldn’t we be questioning whether it’s appropriate to give him 1 year of life when he took tens of years of retirement from others?

  38. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    I think everyone’s missing the whole point: why should he be given a year of life when he took away decades of retirement for others?

  39. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 2:18 PM

    We get the point-throw the f’in book at the bastard and lock him away for 100 years-let his dead carcass rot in the cell and put up a webcam so we can see the decay proceed.

  40. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 2:36 PM

    I think I’m missing the point; somebody please help me out.

  41. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    @39. just make him share a cell with Hank Greenberg

  42. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 2:58 PM

    You know what? Let’s let him go. I think he’s learned his lesson.
    Bygones, you know?

  43. Posted by Becky Boot Fan | June 23, 2009 at 3:10 PM

    Awesome socks, Bernie.
    “It’s business time…”

  44. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 3:21 PM

    Big swinging dick – No.
    Big swollen balls – Yes!

  45. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 3:24 PM

    Big swinging dick – No.
    Big swollen balls – Yes!

  46. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 3:25 PM

    Give him the Roman option while Ruthie feeds him from a wedge of jarlsberg and the sons slice him open with a dull fishing knife.
    Let him die in prison,so give him life with no chance of parole.

  47. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 3:27 PM

    One could also argue that Bernie’s life outside of prison would be more difficult than inside. Thus, the real punishment would be to set him free to face the ridicule of the world.
    In other words, fuck him. Just because his douchebag lawyer asked for 12, I’d give him 14.

  48. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 3:53 PM

    donte stallworth gets 30 days, bernie madoff asking for 12 years..
    justice

  49. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 3:57 PM

    47 At first I was going to say that the outside would not be more difficult, because he could rehabilitate himself instantly by becoming super religious. But on second thought, people were an easy mark because he was a co-religionist. So finding faith is not going to work for Bern.

  50. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 4:03 PM

    That 13 year life expectancy is probably the average. A wealthy guy his age and in good health can expect to live longer. Wonder though what impact prison will have. Clearly worse medical care, less leisure, more stress. So 13 may be pushing it.

  51. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 4:26 PM

    i say screw jailing him. just drop him off somewhere in palm beach or nyc with the police turning a blind eye to whoever wants to beat the f*** out of him.

  52. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 4:42 PM

    @36 FTW!

  53. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 4:50 PM

    They should give him life + a day. He is not worth the air he breaths. I hope he lives long enough to kill himself.
    Give him a pair of shoe laces and hang a hook on the wall in his lil cell. Continually show him pictures of his stuff with other people using it. He should have to take calls from 7am-11pm from everyone he fucked over.
    Or he could just agree to do the show “I’m a celeb get me out of here”

  54. Posted by KevinB | June 23, 2009 at 7:12 PM

    I thought there was an old joke that the definition of “chutzpah” was offing your parents, and then asking for mercy because you’re an orphan.
    Now Bernie, after stealing billions from high and low profile Jews, is asking for clemency because he’s receiving “anti-Semitic” remarks?
    You can’t make this stuff up.

  55. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 9:26 PM

    @53– seek help. stop beating your wife and kids when they fuck up in life. they might turn out like you

  56. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 9:37 PM

    He is taking the fall for a lot of people around him. If this happened in glorious Yugoslavia under Tito, ALL his relatives and their relatives would be in jail. Another option is to hunt down everyone whose name is Madoff throughout the world and jail EVERYONE of them. This will be a good lesson for others. Apparently, socialist way of justice works much better, it instills fear and you keep your relatives in check.

  57. Posted by guest | June 23, 2009 at 10:45 PM

    56 I dont believe that. From all that I’ve read, I think the two clowns that worked closely with him on the fund are involved. The head of admin – which probably pays $150K plus a 20% bonus at most mutual funds had houses worth millions and drove a Bentley. Ditto the chief accountant.
    As for the sons, I read once that its doubtful that with such an old father they werent asking what the “secret sauce” was, so that they could carry on the business. At the same time, it appears that Bern was arrogant and controlling. Like to be the big cheese, always make the rest of em grovel for their goodies. Under the circumstances, its plausible that theres no involvement by the sons. One could argue that they were involved by dint of looking the other way. I dont think though that they were smart enought to figure anything bad was going on.

  58. Posted by StillNoCouch | June 24, 2009 at 8:59 AM

    Didn’t we learn anything from the first OJ trial ?
    I think they should just release Bernie immediately.
    The optimal solution, would be to hold a press conference, wherein the Judge announces that Bernard Madoff will be released at 3:10pm at the corner of ____ and _____.
    … something tells me that the problem would be solved at far less cost to the taxpayer and the vast majority of people would have an overwhelming sense of satisfaction with the outcome.
    (( cue’s up memories of the irony associated with Jeffery Damnmer being beaten to death with a plunger by a guy named Jesus in dread-locks ))

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