So, apparently the employees at some order clearing and execution firm have been slacking a bit of late, to the extent that their boss felt it necessary to fire off a 50,000 word email that starts off pretty normal and then goes to a place where kangaroos, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Korean holidays, kindergarten graduations and sipping champagne after the JPMorgan Corporate Challenge (totally inappropes!) converge. Use it yourself if you're looking to be that (unhinged) guy. To those searching for work, it sounds like a few people are about to get fired, so consider shooting Sam a res.
From: Samuel F. LekTo: Lek Securities Employees
Subject: Current State of Affairs
Our staff's commitment is not as good as it was in the past. Some people are doing a great job, but for this firm to work, everyone has to contribute 110%. We must remember that the customer is king and that our customers deserve to be treated accordingly. We don't have the capital or the recourses [sic] of some of the larger firms, so we need to sell ourselves by providing our customers with the best service, innovation, and a commitment to understanding their needs. Almost all of us can do better. It would be a good idea to do what I did over the weekend: Take some time to figure out what you can do to become more effective, and waste no time trying to reason why you are already doing a great job and why this memo really doesn't apply to you, because it does. We cannot afford to slack off. These are hard times. There are a lot of talented unemployed people out there. I am sure that many of them also at some point took their jobs for granted.
I was in Mexico on Friday, and I heard that people had a blast watching "Curb Your Enthusiasm." I also heard that there was a $90,000 error. Don't waste any time trying to explain that the two are not related. In my mind, they are related by definition, and trust me: The person or the people responsible for that error are going to pay for it.
One very disturbing symptom of a diminished lack of commitment manifests itself by our staff taking too much vacation, leaving early, and coming in late. We have never had a vacation policy and I seriously considered instituting one. For the moment I have decided against it, but if you are out for more than 20 days a year, including religious holidays and personal days, which includes doctors' visits, dentists' visits, graduations, school plays, golf outings, and business trips that look more like vacation than real business trips, you are probably out too much, although nothing is written in stone. There can be exceptions.
We are not a bureaucracy. People who do not put their careers first shouldn't be working here. If I find that people are more enthusiastic about vacation to the extent that work isn't being done (which is currently the case), then those people will have to find a job elsewhere. Particularly, long vacations (more than one week) in faraway places where you can't be reached puts up a big sign that you are either not needed, or if you are needed, you don't care. Long vacations in remote locations should be taken infrequently, like a honeymoon. If you feel that you are not needed, you will not have a hard time convincing me that you are right. There are plenty of unemployed qualified people waiting to take your place. If you like a lot of vacation, long weekends, days off, coming in late and leaving early, then Wall Street is not the place for you.
I do recognize that our staff is maturing. Many of us are getting married, having children and experiencing serious illnesses in our families. I was not immune from that myself. We are entitled to take time to care for our families, but when this happens, we need to sacrifice elsewhere. We simply need to use more discretion. When my kid graduates from kindergarten, I'm not so sure that that is such an important event that I need to take the day off. I observe Korean religious holidays, but from now on when I decide to take off on the Harvest Moon Festival, which falls on 14‐16th days of 8th month, I am going to make up for it on Good Friday, which is not a religious holiday in Korea. I also really enjoy kangaroo racing, but I am no longer going to take off on triple witching Friday, because there is an important kangaroo race in Connecticut and not respond to calls on my cell phone, particularly when my primary back‐up person is also out.I am also reminding everyone that it is imperative that you are always reachable, and make no mistake about it, if you are not there when you are needed I will find someone else to do your job. It is crucial that our traders and the staff in the clearing and settlement departments are available to attend to our customers' problems, and that there should always be enough technical people around to keep our systems up and running smoothly. But as things now stand we are too often just going through the motions and we are not accomplishing enough. We have a very qualified staff and it's hard to pin‐point exactly what's wrong, but when after the Corporate Challenge I saw people sipping Champagne, it became crystal clear to me that we are not aware that times are tough. There is nothing to celebrate! The numbers don't lie. The results are not good.
I have no interest in rehashing the past. Do not come to me and try to explain that you are doing a good job, because if I don't agree with you, you're just making it abundantly clear that you don't get the message, and you are going to get fired during that conversation. Going forward however there are going to be some significant changes. Nefeli is going to record when people are out, including half days, doctors' visits, school graduations, business trips with vacations attached, etc. and I'm going to look at it carefully. People who have already taken a lot of days off should consider canceling some plans for the rest of the year.
We still have the ability to be very successful and make a lot of money. We can do it, and I'm going to make sure that it happens. We just have to try harder and stay on track.
Samuel F. Lek
Lek Securities Corporation
140 Broadway - 29th Floor
New York, NY 10005
212.509.2300
www.LekSecurities.com
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:17PM
Kangaroo racing....WTF?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:18PM
"trust me: The person or the people responsible for that error are going to pay for it."
it was me!
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:19PM
they get to watch CYE at work? are they hiring?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:19PM
Gee Sam, you pay your people the lowest on the street and treat them like garbage. No wonder they aren't dedicated.
PS You are also bald and short.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:22PM
Why qualify kangaroo race with "important"? Is there really such a thing as an "unimportant" kangaroo race? I think not!
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:23PM
I prefer drag racing my beef bus to tuna town.
BOOM ... Gimmesome!
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:25PM
too long, didnt read
seriously, its friday afternoon.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:26PM
douche@7 your loss. also, there have been plenty of "just pictures" posts today, some of us are okay with words.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:28PM
I like this guy. Clearly he owns the place, and feels the pain. Good for him and I hope he can get the crew to taking things seriously.
Posted by american bandersnatch , Jun 26, 2009 3:28PM
We have a New Tiger Mike!
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:30PM
http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=372_1191660655
A video of Kangaroo racing. But in CT?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:30PM
Part at the Harvest Moon Festival Tower, everybody's gonna be there, you should come...
-Korean Wodderson
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:31PM
Maybe they re "taking time off" to go on interviews elsewhere?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:31PM
I'm available KIM CHEE!!!!! happy ending barber nodding YES!!!
Hyundai people like a child I GO !!!! What!!!! YOW!!!!
~JM
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:32PM
Maybe they re "taking time off" to go on interviews elsewhere?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:32PM
"Some people are doing a great job, but for this firm to work, everyone has to contribute 110%"
I would LOVE a clearing agent that thinks there is something called 110%...
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:34PM
#16, Thought only marriage counselors asked for 110%?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:34PM
#16, Thought only marriage counselors asked for 110%?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:35PM
God Bless Larry David and the genius that he is.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:36PM
My favorite is the "Wall Street is not for you." As if LEK is a real firm.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:38PM
-@11
Sarcasm.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:38PM
Ha Ha. Good Bogus memo. WTF is Lek?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:39PM
I would never work for this guy.
Not only is he nuts - which is not a dealbreaker, all my bosses have been nuts in some way - but he isn't running his business like a business. No vacation policy? No tracking system? Go ahead and fire some people, Sam. Have fun with the lawsuits.
"We didn't have a written policy, but lots of people took forty days a year. I took ten days in three years. You owe me 110 days pay."
Of course it's ridiculous. You think that matters?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:41PM
Intern: "Lek Securities promo: "I am Lek", take 34!"
Lek Employee: "Hard work is a lot like kangaroo racing and..."
Director: "CUT!!!!!"
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:41PM
did his visit to Mexico happen to do with any special sharks?
Posted by merkin capital partners , Jun 26, 2009 3:52PM
GAWDAMN MONGORIANS! YOU TAKE VACATION FOR LAST TIME!
Posted by EconAnalyst , Jun 26, 2009 3:56PM
From the Lek Career Page:
"Lek Securities Corporation seeks an Operations International VP
Responsibilities will include: Collect and analyze information to define operational problems and asses needs; analyze and develop database processes for automation. Requirements: MBA; Experience using C#; PowerPoint, SQL, VB Dot Net and Microsoft Excel including Pivot Table functions; Goal Seek; VBA programming for macros and Conditional Formatting."
- Why would you list conditional formatting as a necessary job skill, as it can be taught to someone in about 3 minutes?
This place sounds like a joke, but in this market I'm sure this little e-mail will make applications go through the roof.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 3:59PM
They're hiring??? Now you tell me!!
~Former Lehman Quant
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:02PM
I am surprised there have been no Coked up Mexican Laser Kangaroo references yet....
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:06PM
"Long vacations in remote locations should be taken infrequently, like a honeymoon."
"If you feel that you are not needed, you will not have a hard time convincing me that you are right."
"We have a very qualified staff and it's hard to pin‐point exactly what's wrong, but when after the Corporate Challenge I saw people sipping Champagne, it became crystal clear to me that we are not aware that times are tough. There is nothing to celebrate! The numbers don't lie. The results are not good."
"I also really enjoy kangaroo racing, but I am no longer going to take off on triple witching Friday, because there is an important kangaroo race in Connecticut and not respond to calls on my cell phone, particularly when my primary back‐up person is also out."
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:14PM
@27 very good question, same goes for goal seek...wtf??
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:19PM
"I do recognize that our staff is maturing. Many of us are getting married, having children and experiencing serious illnesses in our families."
I like the last part of that sentence. "We're getting old and people are dying."
Posted by Investorcluzo , Jun 26, 2009 4:22PM
good thing they aren't a public company, I think mad max would want to have chat with him...seriously, how many public co ceo's could get away with this type of letter?
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:24PM
@29
WTF are you talking about. See @1 here:
"coked up Australian Cocaine Wallabies that make Crop circles"
http://dealbreaker.com/2009/06/mean-reversion-banking.php#comments
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:40PM
I'd quit to go work at JT Marlin
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:49PM
"Dong, where is my automobile?"
"Automobile? Automobile? Lek, big Lek."
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:51PM
Goldman, MS, Lazard, and Lek = top firms on the street
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 4:58PM
LEK MY BALLS!!!
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 5:02PM
Jesus Christ.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 5:11PM
http://www.leksecurities.com/Contact.htm
Your complete satisfaction is our utmost concern. If you have any questions about our firm or products, or if you are not completely satisfied with our service, please contact me directly at
SamL@LekSecurities.com
or call me at (212) 509-2300
Samuel F. Lek
Chief Executive Officer
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 5:14PM
After today I now know Lek and Jefferies are the new elite white shoe firms.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 5:21PM
@27, 31
I am actually surprised at the amount of programming knowledge(C#, VB.NET, SQL?!?!!) required for an Operations VP. The text of the job post strongly suggests an Operation programmer.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 8:23PM
These clowns will retain the best and brightest that would tolerate this cesspool of the healthy & single. Sam could cap off his attrition letter by a move from "Wall Street" to Joisey or Long Island.
Happy Chusok, Sam! (Korean Harvest Moon) I'm taking the week off and will be thinking of you.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 8:32PM
@14 - you're a douchebag. an absolute douchebag.
Posted by guest , Jun 26, 2009 9:59PM
Lek Securities at 140 Broadway? I got a great deal on a powder blue tuxedo from them. They have employees on Broadway wearing poster boards as a sign of their 110% devotion to the shop. The head tailor came back to the shop from a kangaroo race to make sure the alterations were to my satisfaction.
- Fixed Income
Posted by guest , Jun 27, 2009 12:00PM
37 = subtle Lazard trolling
Posted by guest , Jun 27, 2009 4:18PM
I like this guy. I am putting my money with his company.
Really.
Posted by guest , Jun 27, 2009 9:31PM
@22 - this letter is NOT bogus, it's real
Posted by guest , Jun 27, 2009 11:21PM
Hey Sam,
I'm doing a good job. Shove it up your ass.
Now with that out of the way, thanks for the severance and fuck you dooch!
-Lek Securities Employee (for real)
Posted by guest , Jun 28, 2009 6:23AM
this guy rocks. sam is the man.
Posted by streethockey , Jun 29, 2009 10:23AM
i also enjoy Belgian beer spitting, but i will not be taking time off this Wednesday to see the regional BBS championships in Howell, NJ, as I do every year.
it is time to buckle down, people. lunches spent in delis, wolfing down pickles and syrup, no matter how tasty, should be done at your desk, with the appropriate amount of napkins (that means you, Rabinowitz!).
thank you, Tomaso, for helping me edit this email. stir fry Argentine bumble leeks will be available in the conference room later today. one Snapple per person, please.