Picture 1480.pngHFY, my darlings. HFY (hell fuck yeah). Ken Lewis has reportedly been asked by the House Oversight Committee to testify about the so-called “threat” he received from the government last year, which KL claimed prevented him from sharing with BAC shareholders that MER was set to report an imperial asston of losses for the fourth quarter, information that would’ve been more useful to them before the deal went through, rather than after.
Let’s back the truck up for a sec: the Journal reported in April that during his February sit-down with Andrew Cuomo, Lewis told Andy he was “urged to keep quiet while the two sides negotiated government funding to help BofA absorb Merrill and its huge losses,” and that later in his testimony, Lewis described a conversation with Paulson, in consultation with Bernanke, in which the Treasury secretary made it clear that Mr. Lewis’s own job was at stake (which, hilariously, happened over the phone while Bald was out on a bike ride). Then Steve Liesman rode in to defend Bernanke’s honor, saying a government official told him Bernanke never ever told Lewis not to disclose the losses prior to the deal going through. Later that day, Cuomo came out and was all “Paulson did the dirty work, but it was at the behest of Bernanke. And by the close of business, Paulson had issued a statement saying hell to the yes I threatened the guy, but Bernanke had nothing to do with it.


So all was seemingly good for Lewis (relatively speaking, of course), with Paulson having admitted that great bodily harm (and a shitcanning) would be visited on KL’s house in the event he didn’t keep his lips sealed. Oh, but then someone had a little too much Boone’s before taking the mic at his bank’s annual shareholder meeting less than a week later, and said this, probably not realizing reporters were present: “[The Merrill decision] was made independent of any government threat” and to the shareholder asking if Paulson really was the reason they weren’t informed they were acquiring a slum house, “you have your facts wrong.”
So, yeah, we’re pretty psyched to sit back and see how he explains this one. (And also for Lewis’s reunion with Maxine Waters, and exchanges like this one.)

Comments (19)

  1. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:06 PM

    I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning I’ll get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and… walk in and see and, uh… if you don’t have my money for me, I’ll… crack your fuckin’ head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time that I’m comin’ out of jail, hopefully, you’ll be coming out of your coma. And guess what? I’ll split your fuckin’ head open again. ‘Cause I’m fuckin’ stupid. I don’t give a fuck about jail. That’s my business. That’s what I do.
    Hank Paulson

  2. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:14 PM

    The stuttering is going to be out of control.

  3. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    Cue the seinfeld quote guy

  4. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:16 PM

    so like wow, the Fed strong armed KL into a tough choice…fauding his investors or lose his job. KL did the noble thing and and went with fraud the investors.
    I dont remeber the “he made me do it” defense having much legal weight but it is congress.

  5. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:18 PM

    @4- if that was it it still would’ve been bad, but how does KL explain the fact that he was all to shareholders, “yeah, that never happened.”

  6. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:20 PM

    @3 “what I see here is nothing more then a solitary man wroking out of an apt, that may or may not contain a chicken”
    “And with timmy’s help..were going to get that chicken.”

  7. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:22 PM

    @5 umm he is a fuckin liar and a cocksucker…
    -4

  8. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:37 PM

    Lewis molests collies.

  9. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:41 PM

    @6 to quote the late, great Colonel Sanders, “I’m too drunk to taste this chicken.”

  10. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 4:49 PM

    i think i actually saw the strings above liesmans head this morning as he was talking

  11. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 5:10 PM

    Dennis Kucinich is going to attack KL like a rabid spider monkey.

  12. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 5:24 PM

    …now lets drop this big ball of oil out the window and start helping to save this planet.
    hellllooooo

  13. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 9:13 PM

    The Fed was allegedly established to PREVENT bank turmoil and to stabilize the economy, lets’ review: since 1910 the Fed has presided over the crash of 1921 and 1929, the Depression from ’29 to ’39, recessions in ’53, ’57, ’69, ’75 and ’81, Black Monday in ’87 (list goes on) and about 1000% inflation that has destroyed 90% of the dollar’s purchasing power. A true American success story. System is working fine.
    “If we had a truth-in-Government act comparable to the truth- in-advertising law every note issued by the Treasury would be obliged to include a sentence stating: “This note will be redeemed with the proceeds from an identical note which will be sold to the public when this on comes due”"
    - Walter Wriston, Chairman, Citicorp, 1982

  14. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 9:14 PM

    The Fed was allegedly established to PREVENT bank turmoil and to stabilize the economy, lets’ review: since 1910 the Fed has presided over the crash of 1921 and 1929, the Depression from ’29 to ’39, recessions in ’53, ’57, ’69, ’75 and ’81, Black Monday in ’87 (list goes on) and about 1000% inflation that has destroyed 90% of the dollar’s purchasing power. A true American success story. System is working fine.
    “If we had a truth-in-Government act comparable to the truth- in-advertising law every note issued by the Treasury would be obliged to include a sentence stating: “This note will be redeemed with the proceeds from an identical note which will be sold to the public when this on comes due”"
    - Walter Wriston, Chairman, Citicorp, 1982

  15. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 9:14 PM

    The Fed was allegedly established to PREVENT bank turmoil and to stabilize the economy, lets’ review: since 1910 the Fed has presided over the crash of 1921 and 1929, the Depression from ’29 to ’39, recessions in ’53, ’57, ’69, ’75 and ’81, Black Monday in ’87 (list goes on) and about 1000% inflation that has destroyed 90% of the dollar’s purchasing power. A true American success story. System is working fine.
    “If we had a truth-in-Government act comparable to the truth- in-advertising law every note issued by the Treasury would be obliged to include a sentence stating: “This note will be redeemed with the proceeds from an identical note which will be sold to the public when this on comes due”"
    - Walter Wriston, Chairman, Citicorp, 1982

  16. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 9:14 PM

    The Fed was allegedly established to PREVENT bank turmoil and to stabilize the economy, lets’ review: since 1910 the Fed has presided over the crash of 1921 and 1929, the Depression from ’29 to ’39, recessions in ’53, ’57, ’69, ’75 and ’81, Black Monday in ’87 (list goes on) and about 1000% inflation that has destroyed 90% of the dollar’s purchasing power. A true American success story. System is working fine.
    “If we had a truth-in-Government act comparable to the truth- in-advertising law every note issued by the Treasury would be obliged to include a sentence stating: “This note will be redeemed with the proceeds from an identical note which will be sold to the public when this on comes due”"
    - Walter Wriston, Chairman, Citicorp, 1982

  17. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 9:15 PM

    The Fed was allegedly established to PREVENT bank turmoil and to stabilize the economy, lets’ review: since 1910 the Fed has presided over the crash of 1921 and 1929, the Depression from ’29 to ’39, recessions in ’53, ’57, ’69, ’75 and ’81, Black Monday in ’87 (list goes on) and about 1000% inflation that has destroyed 90% of the dollar’s purchasing power. A true American success story. System is working fine.
    “If we had a truth-in-Government act comparable to the truth- in-advertising law every note issued by the Treasury would be obliged to include a sentence stating: “This note will be redeemed with the proceeds from an identical note which will be sold to the public when this on comes due”"
    - Walter Wriston, Chairman, Citicorp, 1982

  18. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 9:16 PM

    The Fed was allegedly established to PREVENT bank turmoil and to stabilize the economy, lets’ review: since 1910 the Fed has presided over the crash of 1921 and 1929, the Depression from ’29 to ’39, recessions in ’53, ’57, ’69, ’75 and ’81, Black Monday in ’87 (list goes on) and about 1000% inflation that has destroyed 90% of the dollar’s purchasing power. A true American success story. System is working fine.
    “If we had a truth-in-Government act comparable to the truth- in-advertising law every note issued by the Treasury would be obliged to include a sentence stating: “This note will be redeemed with the proceeds from an identical note which will be sold to the public when this on comes due”"
    - Walter Wriston, Chairman, Citicorp, 1982

  19. Posted by InfiniteGuest | June 4, 2009 at 9:51 PM

    @ Noob @ 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, SFT please, you know the Illuminati reads all these comments and they can find you by your IP addy.

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