• 30 Jun 2009 at 9:20 AM

Melissa Francis Is Looking For A ‘Pool Boy’ Type

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Melissa Francis has put the call out (13:30) that she wants a young, hot, not so smart co-host. A “pool boy,” basically. Sort of unclear to us is why current gal-pal Larry Kudlow doesn’t fit this description, or why Mel couldn’t dip into the veritable treasure trove of pool boys at CNBC, such as Mark Haines, but no matter. If you’ve got a headshot and an interest in getting paid to be a piece of meat alongside MF, let us know and we’ll put you in touch. Whether you’re an out of work CEO, down on his luck fund manager, or gainfully employed financial services hack, this is a dream gig not to be passed up. For those not willing to don a thong on camera, Charlie Gasparino is also said to be looking for a PB to fill a vacancy left by his last assistant. Pretty solid gig, though you’ll have to be comfortable getting your man parts near a meat slicer. Not to worry, there will be an intensive two-week training period that will get your skills up to snuff and probably haunt you for all eternity (think having flaming hot sticks of sopressat’ thrown at you by a chain smoking Maude Gasparino, seated in a dark corner, shouting “dodge it! dodge that shit!”).

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    Comments (40)

    1. 1
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:28 AM

      what am I, chopped liver?
      -Bill Seidman

    2. 2
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:29 AM

      sign me up!

    3. 3
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:29 AM

      I’m out of work, so yeah, I’ll send a resume.

    4. 4
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:30 AM

      Dylan Ratigan will probably be out of work soon…

    5. 5
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:31 AM

      @4 sooner than you think.
      -DRat

    6. 6
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:31 AM

      @4 yeah but there’s no way he’d agree to keeping his mouth shut

    7. 7
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:32 AM

      @6 just tell him to bring his gag…

    8. 8
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:39 AM

      Sorry, I couldn’t get past the 15 second mark on that before narcolepsy set in.

    9. 9
      Posted by Anal_yst | June 30, 2009 at 9:41 AM

      As long as melissa francis is willing to put those big bj eyes to use, sign me up (also, shotgun a$$ no blitz)

    10. 10
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:41 AM

      I’d probably be down, maybe throw her the bone once in a while. My only fear is that I might wake up one day and she’d be standing over me with a knife. Anyone else get the sneaking suspicion she might be a psycho?

    11. 11
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:44 AM

      @10 I get that vibe way more from Tits Cabrera.

    12. 12
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:47 AM

      @10
      definitely psycho b1tch

    13. 13
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:48 AM

      Think there is enough there for some titty fucks, or is that a push up?

    14. 14
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:50 AM

      The return of Jeff Macke?!

    15. 15
      Posted by Becky Boot Fan | June 30, 2009 at 9:50 AM

      I’m in, only if she agrees to loan me out in trade to Trish Reagan or Becky for payment of her sizeable gambling losses.
      I’ll keep em’ busy with HerbyTurkeys and round the clock shrimping.
      …dignity? Never heard of it.

    16. 16
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:51 AM

      @15 ftw

    17. 17
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:54 AM

      I would pound her in the ass until my legs gave out in exhaustion. And then I would kindly ask her to make me a delicious sandwich.

    18. 18
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:00 AM

      today on Julie Menin’s “Give (head) and Take (me from behind)”

    19. 19
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:07 AM

      Isn’t the “pool boy” Carl Quintanilla?

    20. 20
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:08 AM

      @20 is racist

    21. 21
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:13 AM

      Throw in the paper bag with holes for the eyes and we have a deal.

    22. 22
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:17 AM

      She is such a dope and makes assertions as fact, that are simply wrong. It would be hard to find a PB dumber than her. Rarely do her interviewees call her on it, although yesterday one did.
      Actually, most of the “eye candy” on CNBC are equally clueless.

    23. 23
      Posted by Becky Boot Fan | June 30, 2009 at 10:19 AM

      @20, no he mows the lawns at CNBC HQ.

    24. 24
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:41 AM

      I’m with 8. Most of these THs are incredibly banal. What’s next? RJ on what it’s like to be annointed as a top ten kid of all time? Who is Julie Menin?

    25. 25
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:45 AM

      I think she needs a more elongated head.

    26. 26
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 10:47 AM

      @26 = Buffalo Bill

    27. 27
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 11:20 AM

      @25 wtf is a TH?

    28. 28
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 11:21 AM

      Anyone know a good editor that can help me with my reel?
      Thanks in advance,
      Greg Michaels

    29. 29
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 11:24 AM

      “maude gasparino”
      yes.

    30. 30
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 11:33 AM

      Bess, I don’t know how you sat through 13 1/2 minutes of these yentas talking nonsense to discover this little trove. These women are both busted.

    31. 31
      Posted by flaunt | June 30, 2009 at 11:42 AM

      @anal_yst Definitely agree about the bj eyes. Does anyone else notice that she looks like a Furby
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furbie

    32. 32
      Posted by flaunt | June 30, 2009 at 11:44 AM

      @anal_yst Definitely agree about the bj eyes. Does anyone else notice that she looks like a Furby
      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furbie

    33. 33
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 11:48 AM

      Sorry 28, TH = talking head.

    34. 34
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 12:38 PM

      Quote started at 13:00 for me – not sure what that 13:30 was all about.

    35. 35
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 12:55 PM

      She needs to drop about 20 pounds.

    36. 36
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 2:14 PM

      Who’s this bitch? She looks used up already.

    37. 37
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 2:39 PM

      Hasn’t FOXBIZ already beaten CNBC to the punch here? Cody Willard is the ultimate dumb pool boy. And Melissa Francis is too good for a show like that. Instead, she needs a show with Rebecca Jarvis where the two of them make out if the market goes up and refrain from doing so when the market goes down. Forget green shoots, it’s time for carrots and sticks baby…

    38. 38
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 2:45 PM

      I will fill her vacancy…

    39. 39
      Posted by guest | June 30, 2009 at 9:49 PM

      @10 Total psycho with the bug-eyes. Scares me. I just close my eyes, imagine LIz Claman with her hot-stuff bod and all the fear goes away. Hello FBN

    40. 40
      Posted by Bristol Airport Hotels | April 18, 2012 at 2:03 PM

      Rf08da Im grateful for the article.Thanks Again. Really Great.

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