As mentioned a couple weeks back, UBS’s (ex) global head of healthcare Ben Lorello recently jumped ship to Jefferies, and took a gaggle of mid-senior employees with him, which made the Swiss bank angry enough to file suit against Lorello and his new employer. Today we got some color on some of Lorello and Co’s less successful attempts at poaching the team. While we can’t say whether or not UBS has a case that will hold up in court, we can say with certainty that when they’re ready to laugh about all this, they’ve got themselves a piss-your-pants-in-laughter-at-how-seriously-these-people-take-themselves story to look back on.
On the 16th, Ben Lorello walked into the office of Rick Leaman, global head of IBD at UBS, handed him an envelope and walked out, for the last time. Junior bankers were pretty much in the dark as to what was going on, but soon found out that a bunch of mid-level guys (associates and directors) were making the move with Benji. Then, last Wednesday, the little ones all received voicemails at their desks by their former staffer asking if they wanted to “talk.” Those who returned the calls were told– and I can barely type this seeing because my hands are shaking so hard– “you have an offer to leave UBS and join Jefferies. It expires at the end of the day.” Supposedly the deal, for first year analysts, was a guaranteed bonus of $60k this summer, with “guidance” for the following of $100k.
Leaman caught wind of this very quickly and apparently “descended” on the 36th floor, “dramatically” gathered everyone up for an impromptu meeting, and proclaimed that he would “rebuild the group within six months,” promising a transfer to another group if the attempt “didn’t work out.” Apparently all but one declined the Jefferies offer (which may have had less to do with Rick’s speech and more to do with not wanting to get written up by Ben for rolling in at 9:01 AM).
MJ’s last words “take me to the childrens hospital”
Eh, i don’t see what makes you “shake in laughter”.
@2 the notion that someone thought making an offer to come to Jefferies was so hot that it didn’t sound completely ridiculous to say stuff like “it expires at the end of the day” before hanging up.
Webster made the 911 call right?
Jefferies…..the new “killing it!”
hey i’m a 2nd year analyst at a boutique and would love to look into jeffries…who can I contact?
That would stink as a first year in that spot. Go join a boss who doesn’t need/want you enough to give you more than a work day to think about a big decision, and who is psychotic about face time in the office, or alternatively you could stay at a bank where you just lost your bosses and has taken the cake for being one of the most inept banks of the financial crisis.
I would rather be Porter Stansberry’s errand boy than work at Jefferies.
Porter Stansberry
you do not question the dark lord. you obey.
Assuming UBS can think their way out of a paper bag, the obvious move is to find the one or two brains who left, offer to drop all charges and maybe even sweeten the pot – I dunno, a coffee mug or something and watch the team at Jefferies implode…
Of course, this assumes that UBS can:
1. think their way out of a paper bag
2. set aside ego / rage
3. get the go ahead from Ben, Maxiene, TG, B Frank, etc
@6 Try Matt Smith COO – Global Equities at Jefferies
@ bess – did you forget that the company they would be leaving was UBS?
pay your people well in the first place for their efforts and this sort of thing won’t happen.
pay your people well in the first place for their efforts and this sort of thing won’t happen.
@12 “this offer to leave one shithole for another expires in exactly five hours.”
still (unintentionally hilarious)
What decision is there here? Take a $60k bonus as a first year analyst (if that’s actually true) or stay at a place where VPs maxed out at $50k a few months ago.
Granted, timing’s different but if someone had the chance to move somewhere half decent from a place that has no intention to be a player in IB, it seems like a no brainer. Unless you want to sit around and straight chill while HR takes three months to figure things out.
UBS SUCHS!
Bess, clearly you know little about how the investment banking pay model works. Most people with a brain would rather work for a rainmaker at shit hole bank in shylock row then sit doing nothing at 85 Broad.
18 = ben lorello
interesting, @18, then why do you think only one of the junior bankers took the offer?
@19, I hope that the pleasure you get from jacking off to the fact that you have an ID from Citi negates the fact that you will be getting 60k less this year than the inferior analysts at Jefferies.
21′s response to 19 proves 18/21 are both Lorello.
@6…You may want to spell the firms name right if you want to work there
@20 nobody analysts understand the street, many don’t
@20, who am I to explain shitty logic. These kiddies posted on some internet forum to ask what to do. After all, thats how they chose their college, major, college extra currics, etc. They are all living in lala land where Blackstone will call them up in two weeks to offer them a job because they worked at UBS. After all, what kind of reputable firm would be interested in analyst from Jefferies with top deal experience?
it becomes more and more obvious with each passing comment (25/21/18) that Lorello walks among us. Also, Benji, only grandmas would refer to the comments section of DB as “an internet forum.”
@26, you are clearly mentally challenged, no need to argue further.
For those of you who may have been confused by the retard, I was referring to college confidential, wallstreetoasis, etc. where loser kids go to have their lives directed by other losers. So how do I, Ben Lorello, know about such narischkeit. Maybe, those of you with a breain will realize that I have probably graduated from school in the past few years where I was surrounded with similar morons…maybe thats why…or maybe I had the one analyst that came to UBS do the research for me at 2AM last night…what makes more sense to the people with brains here?
Lorello@27/25/21/18- step away from the computer. this will not end well. ask cliff asness.
I thought all Analyst’s except took the offer. Any analyst who passed the offer would be probably be jobless in a few months
@28, you outed me, I admit it. How could I have been so stupid that even someone who doesn’t know me can detect my writing style?
Maybe some of the backoffice guys that seem to populate this site can pickup one of the seats that have now opened up on the 35/36th floors.
31/30/27/25/21/18 you have some serious anger problems– actually quite reminiscent of a backoffice guido from Staten Island– that you should probably address rather than project on others.
@ Bess…any bank other than UBS (Citi, BoA et al of the majors) should be considered a “hot deal”, these middle market guys are eating the bulges lunch…what makes me laugh is that folks like you think that UBS etc have some lock on genius and that people should want to work there on name (brand) alone…if they are so f’n smart why were they about 2 mins from going out of business…in the end, if the bulges were to be rationally judged on mgmnt actions alone (vs the legacy of a brand built decades ago – ie JPM) clients wouldn’t give the bulges a dime of their money…Morgan Stan another great example of innovation and “brains”, a recycled CEO who couldn’t cut it at CSFB and did nothing at Pequot – comedy gold (although I’m sure Mack mastered enough Japanese to thank them for bailing his sorry arse out – )
So getting poached by Jeffries (yuck!) is the new killin’ it at UBS? Sad.
@33 Jefferies never has, and never will be, a hot deal. stop trying to convince yourself otherwise.
@33 is just crushing it at Jefferies/Piper/Morgan Keegan. Just let the man live awhile before his dream comes crashing to a halt in a few months.
lol I gaurantee all the guys trashing Jefferies work at UBS and no their ship is sinking
@37 you don’t have to work at UBS, which itself is a shithole, to know that Jefferies will never be considered in the same league as the big banks. get over it. and don’t use “lol,” you fucking tool.
@38 I never said Jefferies be would Goldman, but anybody that has any knowledge of the history of this business knows top firms come and go. You don’t know shit
I think just having a job in finance these days is killing it.
@ all posts – you guys need to get laid.
Need to get out of finance. Further 20% job cuts by end of 2009