Of our nation’s hell-holes that is, by which we of course mean places like AIG, Citi, Bank of America, Freddie Mac, etc. The Journal looks into the situation today and discovers that while some of these institutions are in need of a new guy or lady up top, nobody capable has come forward and pledged to work ’round the clock to fix the places for an annual salary of $1, a bunch of worthless stock, and the opportunity to have Maxine Waters shout at them in ǃ’OǃKung about a perceived role in late-night field trips with Goldman Sachs to dig up parakeet carcasses and suck out their essence.
Former US Bancorp chief executive Jerry Grundhofer is said to be a possible successor to Vikram Pandit but he’s old and not too keen on a) the pay and b) the idea of having Tim Geithner up his grill. Basically, “there is no one” a person “familiar with internal deliberations” about CEO succession at Bank of America and Citi said, though obviously the intel could’ve come from anyone with a pulse. I mean, there are some guys itching for gigs, but for various reasons their candidacies aren’t being taken seriously. You might recognize their names: Bob Steel, David Moffett and John Thain. Supposed reasons they won’t work are the matters of misleading comments about the health of Wachovia, “limited experience in running vast businesses,” and interior decorating sprees that included Swarovski-encrusted bidets, respectively.
Clearly, though, these places are actively looking for warm bodies and it wouldn’t be much of an exaggeration to say they’re desperate, and in no position to be picky. (Like Hartford Financial which, in a who are they trying to kid move, won’t consider even taking a meeting with anyone that was “responsible for the balance sheet at a troubled financial institution in recent years.”) BAC/Citi/AIG/etc aren’t too good for anyone and would be lucky to land a mammal (even there, we’d suggest some flexibility). It’s time to start considering low-hanging fruit.
How about LOBSTERCLOPS?
What about Greg?
!O!Kung! Fucking hilarious!
“Prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the Treasury!”
-T. Geithner
This is about “celebrity” status, not about getting a bank job.
I have nipples, Greg, can you milk me?
Thain
“Clearly, though, these places are actively looking for warm bodies and it wouldn’t be much of an exaggeration to say they’re desperate, and in no position to be picky. (Like Hartford Financial which, in a who are they trying to kid move, won’t consider even taking a meeting with anyone that was “responsible for the balance sheet at a troubled financial institution in recent years.”) BAC/Citi/AIG/etc aren’t too good for anyone and would be lucky to land a mammal (even there, we’d suggest some flexibility). It’s time to start considering low-hanging fruit.”
couldn’t have said it better myself
cost cutting mail from greg:
“if its yellow..
@7
greg stop fronting
What’s so bad about sucking parakeet essence?
–Lloyd Blankfein
Unlike Grundhofer, I *am* keen on having Tim Geithner up in my grill. Yes, sir, may I have another!
-V. Pandit
I’ll bid $1, Bob
Jokes about Rep. Waters shouting in an African language and practicing some sort of voodoo strike me as racist. Sorting through this site’s abundant juvenile humor to find useful nuggets of gossip is one thing, sorting through racist remarks is another.
Jokes about Rep. Waters shouting in an African language and practicing some sort of voodoo strike me as racist. Sorting through this site’s abundant juvenile humor to find useful nuggets of gossip is one thing, sorting through racist remarks is another.
@13/14- I went with ǃ’OǃKung because it looks funny spelled out, not because I harbor racism for African Americans. I could’ve used “crazy talk” or “a tongue reminiscent of batshit insanity.” As for the parakeet bit being some sort of voodoo act, I suggest you rewatch the episode of Seinfeld when Jerry has to dig up his neighbor’s dead bird to get a pair of cuff links it swallowed. Having to take five minutes to explain jokes to people who don’t get them is one thing, having to take five minutes to explain them to douchebags who jump to self-righteous conclusions is another.
“Low hanging fruit”? Are you suggesting they consider spectacularly well hung homosexualists?
@13/14 – First, learn how not to double post insipid remarks. Second, get a freakin’ sense of humour. Third, kill yourself.
@15 – BESS, MARRY ME!