Picture 1565.pngThe latest issue of the New Yorker has a lengthy piece on the Tan Man (more on hue in a sec), who apparently is not doing so well of late. He has very few friends left (Big Al is of course still pulling for the guy and vice versa, along with Stan O’Neal and Jimmy Cayne AKA the Circle Jerk of Doom, which meets monthly to fuck the corpse of Ayn Rand). He’s received “numerous” death threats. He’s been forced to cut off the New York Times, the LA Times, and the Wall Street Journal, on account of what he believes is unfair coverage. (In what must be the greatest rousing endorsement of all time, Mozilo continues to read the Financial Times, which we’re thinking the Brits should incorporate into their tagline.) Most heartbreakingly, one former employee notes that Moz-y-boy rarely “flashes that $10,000 watt smile” anymore. Basically, all he really does these days is amble around his “large Spanish-style house in a guarded gated community at the Sherwood Country Club,” where he reflects on the past. Like being mistaken for a black man.

As his sister, Lori, told me, “Angelo said, ‘Nobody wants to work with you. Nobody wants to work with me. Let’s do it to-gether.’ He was always this Italian guy
people didn’t want to accept.” She went on, “When he tans he gets really dark. My mother told me that when he worked in Florida he was asked to sit in the back of the bus.”

Comments (32)

  1. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    Were Moz and Lewis having some brewskis at the US Open yesterday?

  2. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:34 AM

    I’ve been shedding tears for him all morning.

  3. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:35 AM

    Racism turns you orange?

  4. Posted by Anal_yst | June 22, 2009 at 11:36 AM

    Seriously this “hidden comments” bullsh*t has got to stop, wtf

  5. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:36 AM

    Hey Bess shouldn’t that be “more on huem?” My apologies if not I have trouble with that one.

  6. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    @3 the racist ones were the people who asked him to sit at the back of the bus, who mistakenly thought he was an african american, possibly on account of them being color blind (orange does not equal black/brown).

  7. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    i once mistook Maxine Waters for a black man

  8. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    @5- hue, as in the hue of Mozilo’s skin.

  9. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | June 22, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    “(Big Al is of course still pulling for the guy and vice versa, along with Stan O’Neal and Jimmy Cayne AKA the Circle Jerk of Doom, which meets monthly to fuck the corpse [of] Ayn Rand).”
    Oh god, thank you Bess. You just made my Monday. I had to wait to post this while I wiped off the coffee I spit out over my computer.. Bless you.

  10. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    where do I sign up for the circle jerk

  11. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:39 AM

    Who is Big Al?

  12. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    I know, I do great work.
    –Ang Moz’s orthodonist

  13. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    You all know that he’s a Mobster but you won’t admit it in public.

  14. Posted by Perkins Maxwell | June 22, 2009 at 11:43 AM

    “(Big Al is of course still pulling for the guy and vice versa, along with Stan O’Neal and Jimmy Cayne AKA the Circle Jerk of Doom, which meets monthly to fuck the corpse [of] Ayn Rand).”
    Oh god, thank you Bess. You just made my Monday. I had to wait to post this while I wiped off the coffee I spit out over my computer.. Bless you.

  15. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    It’s ok, the 10,000 watt smile will be back once Maria B swings out west for an interview, Jack-style.
    He was asked to go to the back of the bus because the busdriver was long 6 condos in Arizona and blamed Countrywide for his predicament.

  16. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:45 AM

    I think a mexican coke shark was giving me the stank eye on the subway this morning.

  17. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    How could you be so heartless?
    Kanye

  18. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    The thing I love most about Bess is:
    “She goes there…”
    – Snake Plissken

  19. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:51 AM

    @10: Charlie–go back to work.

  20. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:55 AM

    15′s got it.

  21. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:56 AM

    So Moz and Nails were neighbors?

  22. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    Blue shirt with white collar and an accountant’s yellow tie. Strike three.

  23. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    What a handsome gentleman he is. Not quite as dreamy as Mr. Ratigan and his smoldering good looks, but handsome nonetheless.

  24. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    He looks like the Godfather of all Oompa-Loompas.

  25. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 12:01 PM

    An Italian from the Bronx gets on a bus in Florida. A-haa haa ha, that’s good one… and gets mistaken for being black. That’s rich! Believe me white people in Miami or Tampa (the only two cities that could’ve conceivably had public transportation back then) knew the difference between a mouli and a wop. The story is a crock.

  26. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 12:04 PM

    Any word on that photo of Moz with his cock out at Berlusconi’s villa?

  27. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 12:42 PM

    little did I know the Tan Man and Andy Madoff both know what it’s like to be black in America. they should get together, have a few laughs…

  28. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 1:55 PM

    Of course he still reads the FT – color of the paper is convenient when trying to hide in public.

  29. Posted by guest | June 22, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    @11: Greenspan.
    Do we have to spell everything out for you?

  30. [...] types of people in this world. Those who, when asked the question, what is Angelo Mozilo’s race, answer “African American,” and those who answer “Tanning bed-Orange.” Thanks to today’s hearing on the hill, and the [...]

  31. [...] types of people in this world. Those who, when asked the question, what is Angelo Mozilo’s race, answer “African American,” and those who answer “Tanning bed-Orange.” Thanks to today’s hearing on the hill, and the [...]

  32. [...] types of people in this world. Those who, when asked the question, what is Angelo Mozilo’s race, answer “African American,” and those who answer “Tanning bed-Orange.” Thanks to today’s hearing on the hill, and the [...]

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