Here at Dealbreaker we’ve been taking careful note of the various ways in which the wives of formerly successful financial services hacks have been forced to demean themselves due to unprecedented market volatility. Flying commercial over private. Wearing J. Crew. Performing A2M without even the possibility of it resulting in a trip to the ATM. Driving Honda Pilots. Today the sob stories continue.
Since his hedge fund closed, one trader’s wife has been slumming it among the masses, telling writer, Tatiana Boncompagni, “Do you know I have to take the subway now? I didn’t get married for this.” Fuck no she didn’t! (Sadly, unless she cuts her losses, Jenny from the Block will be riding the 6 for the foreseeable future, on account of the fact that, in her opinion, Meal Ticket hasn’t been trying hard enough to find a new job.) Thanks to her worthless hedge hub, another victim is downgrading to $60 bottles of wine at dinner. Tomorrow it’ll probably be Old English. One wife is actually being forced to pimp it out (her house on Mustique, for $40,000 a week, not her body but presumably that’s next). And there are the women whose situations are so bad they’re not even allowed to get into it at all.
When I tried to interview an acquaintance whose husband works for SAC Capital for this article, she told me that she had been advised not to speak to anyone, even off the record.
Italian and US secret services are now claiming the mob is behind the whole thing, which we like a whole lot. Stand by for comment from by you know who shortly. The FT reports:
Whether the men are really Japanese, as their passports declare, is unclear but Italian and US secret services working together soon concluded that the bills and accompanying bank documents were most probably counterfeit, the latest handiwork of the Italian Mafia.
Few details have been revealed beyond a June 4 statement by the Italian finance police announcing the seizure of 249 US Treasury bills, each of $500m, and 10 “Kennedy” bonds, used as inter-government payments, of $1bn each. The men were apparently tailed by the Italian authorities.
Continue reading »
The part of the House of Ponz that wasn’t lying to people and stealing their money has a new keeper. Surge Trading is the new owner of Bernie’s market making business and their CEO is ready to lead the former Madoff-ites into the future- albeit from the same address.
“I am proud to be working with this team of seasoned, dedicated and client-focused specialists. We are looking forward to quickly beginning the business of trading on behalf of our clients, growing our service offerings, and becoming an industry-leading business.”
Madoff’s Market-Making Business Is Revived by Surge Trading [Bloomberg]
CDOs may be vilified everywhere but the vastly different repackaging technology offered by re-REMICs is seeing a resurgence. Faced with potential widespread CMBS downgrades, issuers and investors are going back to the time honored tradition of repackaging decaying assets to create a new AAA-rated gem. If the CMBS TALF loans continue at their current rate of growth, namely zero, it’s only a matter of time before re-REMICs get an invite to the party.
Commercial Mortgage Debt Rallies Amid New Securities Sales [Bloomberg]
Like the ones Cristiano Ronaldo favors, that Brit department store group Debenhams claims sales of jumped 117 percent last week after Ronaldo wore a pair on vacation? I can tell you with total authority that later this summer our favorite Stamfordians will be forced to don them on the job as part of a new required uniform but would you do so voluntarily? Let’s get into this. Familiarize yourself with the style after the jump.
Continue reading »
The meeting took place yesterday, at Bernie’s office in the Metropolitan Correctional Center. The participants are pretty hush hush about what was discussed but it sounds like Ruth, Andy, Mark and the secretary who felt the need to tell Vanity Fair about his love of massage parlor handies might want to get out of town (yeah, he said he wasn’t going to sell them down the river, but guess what? Things change and Ponzi Boy’s gotta make some sacrifices if he wants to get back in the game).
Admitted fraudster Bernard Madoff, the mastermind of history’s biggest Ponzi scheme, had a three-hour meeting with the Securities and Exchange Commission’s top watchdog this week, several sources with knowledge of the situation told CNN.
The session took place Wednesday at New York’s Metropolitan Correctional Center, where Madoff is awaiting sentencing on federal fraud charges, the sources said. He met with SEC Inspector-General David Kotz, who is investigating what federal securities regulators knew about Madoff’s $50 billion enterprise before it collapsed in December.
Asked about the reported meeting, Kotz said only, “We’ve been making substantial progress in the investigation and plan to issue a comprehensive report very shortly.” He told a congressional committee earlier this week that his main report should be complete by the end of August.
Erin and the gang at CNBC are absolutely floored by the fact that today Tim Geithner used the word “searing,” twice, to describe the situation we’ve gone through vis-a-vis the economy (sayeth Geithner: “We’ve had a rather searing experience,” “We’ve had a kind of searing experience getting things wrong”). Hey now! they said over in Englewood Cliffs, nearly falling off their chairs. What a descriptive word! It must mean things are really bad! Erin’s guests were asked to come up with an even crazier adjective, the first one going with “boiled,” the second one failing to answer the question. Obviously, you people can do better. Please do so at this time, and use it in a sentence. Mine’s in the tag.
If the mortgage market blows up again, the FHA told you so. Faced with record high demand for government backed home loans, the FHA is concerned that it can’t properly handle the additional volume and is going to get picked off.
“FHA will be challenged to handle its expanded workload or new programs that require the agency to take on riskier loans than it historically has had in its portfolio,” Kenneth Donohue, the inspector general for the Housing and Urban Development Department, told lawmakers today. “The surge in FHA loans is likely to overtax the oversight resources of FHA, making careful and comprehensive lender monitoring difficult.”
Evidently saying ‘no’ to loans that appear suspect is not a viable option.
Demand for FHA Loans Is Overtaxing Agency, HUD Official Says [Bloomberg]
Do you suck a little bit or a lot a bit at golf? You’re not alone. Mayor Mike used to be– some of you would say still is– pretty bad himself. But you can do something about it, provided money’s no object. Herewith, a few tips from the king.
This mostly goes out to the Jimmy Caynes in the audience. Suck so bad you have to cheat? Get yourself some professional help.
He took up the game around 2000, but “you probably wouldn’t want to call that golf, what he played,” said Daniel M. Donovan Jr., the Staten Island district attorney, who has played with Mr. Bloomberg for years. “He was confused by it,” said Morris Offit, a longtime friend and golf buddy of Mr. Bloomberg’s. “He felt that if he tried hard, gave it the appropriate attention and got good instruction, that he would improve rapidly.” He did not.
Frustrated by his poor play, Mr. Bloomberg plunged himself into the game, becoming a regular at the Randalls Island driving range, and stealing away for weekend golf outings in Westchester, the Caribbean and the Hamptons. And he often brings an instructor with him. (One of them, Tom Sutter, commands $130 an hour.)
Get angry.
Those who play with Mr. Bloomberg said the mayor, 67, who stands 5 feet 8 inches and appears fit, hits the ball straight but not especially far. He is a decent putter, but loudly scolds himself when he hits a bad shot — “Come on, Mike!”
Really angry.
Continue reading »
We’re told that cuts have been going down today, Barcap-style. No info on severance, etc, yet.
Earlier this morning, during Tim Geithner’s appearance on the Hill to discuss the Obama administration’s plan to overhaul financial regulations, Senator Corker referred to Timbo as “Mr. Chairman.” Geithner responded, “I’m not ‘Mr. Chairman.’ Yet.” Because we are prone to giant leaps in logic, making mountains out of molehills, and going to a place in our minds where Bernanke is a thug who will potentially make those who tick him off pay, we suggested that T. Geith was angling for B-nanke’s job, had overstepped his bounds, and ought to watch his back.* Apparently, that wasn’t what Geithner meant. We’ve just received an e-mail from the Treasury, clarifying the Secretary’s line of thinking/sense of humor.
Bess,
To clarify your post regarding the Treasury Secretary’s remark: He was, of course, referring to the Financial Services Oversight Council (he isn’t chair yet because it hasn’t been created yet.)
Thank you for posting a correction,
Meg
Meg Reilly
Office of Public Affairs
U.S. Department of the Treasury
Now you know. Also, I put in a request for an interview with TG, so fingers crossed there.
*Also, it’s a slow news day and we needed a post.
