He starts in an official capacity on June 29, in the 9-11AM timeslot (where he’ll compete for viewers with former colleagues Mark Haines and Erin Burnett, meaning someone’s going to have to flash their tits and we hope it’s Haines), but D.Rat’s started working out with the team already. You know, so as to not get rusty and find his groove at the new office. How’s it going so far? We’ve only caught this one clip but it doesn’t seem too good! While his new and old employer both fall under the GE umbrella, they are apparently but distant cousins when it comes to style (so barely related that, in a pinch, could take each other to prom and it wouldn’t be that weird…Dennis Kneale knows what we’re talkin’ about).
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A Credit Suisse broker charged with fraud related to auction rate securities in 2008 has picked up where Marcus Schrenker, who plead guilty today, left off and we are so grateful. Julian Tzolov has been classified under fuge-status, with prosecutors saying he’s been missing from his home, where he was placed under house arrest, since May 9. Hopefully we’re not jumping the gun for a second time in less than a year when it comes to JZ, as it was just last July that the Journal was all “Julian Tzolov has maybe fled to Bulgaria.” Everyone pray he’ll do it up right, incorporating airplanes, death fakes, inter-species sex and more.
US declares ex-CS trader due for trial a fugitive [Reuters]
Maybe the guys at Moody’s are finally getting it. Apparently somewhat lost on the Moody’s clan during the past 6 or so years when getting a rating was about as tough as waking up, was the clear arb at the top of the capital structure. Between the two masters of mean reversion analysis, Moody’s had more stringent conditions than S&P to achieve a AAA rating for ABS securities. When there was plenty of appetite for sub-AAAs, Moody’s didn’t seem to care one bit about the arb. It has taken the government’s requirement of only one AAA rating for TALF eligibility to snap Moody’s out of this haze and now, naturally, they are complaining about it.
The need to have a AAA rating to be eligible “for government programs raises the specter of rating shopping,” Andrew Kimball, head of the global structured finance business at Moody’s Investors Service, said during the company’s investor day today. “Those programs don’t differentiate on the quality of the rating. Rating shopping becomes a problem.”
The irony in his statement is delicious. No doubt Ben Bernanke will soon be listening to the debate on why its unfair to treat two completely worthless ratings differently.
Fed’s TALF Fuels Rating ‘Shopping,’ Moody’s Says [Bloomberg]
About the job title– I’m not necessarily set on it but I know I’m not alone in being sick of sticking “Czar” on the end of everything to indicate this is the guy who will use the taser on you for failing to comply with whatever domain he’s been staffed with overseeing. Enforcer would also work, as would drill sergeant, warden, etc. I only went with “cop” ’cause I know how you girls like your alliterations.
But anyway, yes: Kenneth Feinberg is the man the White House intends to name “Special Master for Compensation,” as early as next week, in order to “ensure that companies receiving federal bailout funds are abiding by executive-pay guidelines, according to people familiar with the matter.” Apparently a major factor in creating the gig was that no firms know what they are or aren’t allowed to pay their employees.
For instance, companies have been confused about whether to pay 2008 bonuses, since restrictions on incentive pay didn’t go into effect until early 2009. Some firms have made the payments while others have held off. Many firms are also unsure whether the “top earners” targeted by Congress include rank-and-file employees or just executives.
Rather than just letting everyone make educated guesses, Kenny will do so for them. In theory, he’ll report to Tim Geithner but “is expected to have wide discretion on how the rules should be interpreted.” And if you thought this was going to be another one of those loosey goosey stress test-like situations, wherein banks were allowed to show up at T. Geith’s house in the middle of the night and argue the results, think again. According to the Journal, “Firms likely won’t be able to appeal decisions that Mr. Feinberg makes to Mr. Geithner, according to people familiar with the matter.” All that being said, let’s be honest: it looks like Jamie Dimon could take him, easy.
“I’ll just come right out and say it: Ben Bernanke will go down as the greatest Federal Reserve chairman in history.”
We’re not saying we agree or disagree, but are just surprised Jimbo would want to go on the record in such a public fashion with this one after having been burnt quite badly for doing so in the past. Though, to his credit, this latest is one of those, “on a hundred, or thousand year time-line” pronouncements that aren’t as easily proved so conclusively wrong, or used as Daily Show fodder as other, more BSC-like calls. So, he’s learning.
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Change is certainly in the air at Bank of America these days. After board members O. Templeton Sloan and Robert Tillman resigned last week, BAC announced that its Chief Risk Officer Amy Woods Brinkley agreed to retire and would be replaced by Greg Curl. This seems to be an interesting choice given BAC’s recent history.
Curl’s primary role at BAC was as a dealmaker and can claim such successes as overseeing both the Merrill and Countrywide purchases. In the words of Kenny Lewis, Curl, “has that natural ability to look at things, see both the upside and the potential pitfalls and then navigate the right course.” Yes, clearly there is a long track record of this given the timing of the Countrywide purchase and complete debacle involved in the Merrill purchase. So the guy that oversaw BAC’s overpayment for Merrill will be bringing the new approach to risk the company so desperately wants. Makes perfect sense.
Bank of America Ousts Head of Risk Oversight [NYT]
For those visited by the Pink Slip Fairy over the last several months, have you found it’s translated to an increase in JO&C time, as a result of killing your game? The AP says yes, claiming that the recession is causing your “dating” lives to take a hit. Truth? Or do you find that, alternatively, having your 9-5′s freed up simply means more available time slots to fit in the ladies you’re beating off with a stick? And for those of you still playing for Team Employment– has becoming one of the few men left on earth with a J caused a palpable shift in your favor, making it a “not even fair” situation? Or, with finance not being the same aphrodisiac it once was, do you now downplay the whole “I work at a hedge fund” aspect of your bio, which you once sent neighborhood kids over to the bar to announce ten minutes ahead of your arrival (so everyone there could plan accordingly)?
We feel like bad Pals o’ Pandito for giving this story that Sheila Bair may soon be telling Vikram to pack up his shit and hit the road any weight whatsoever. But, our thinking is that it’s best to be prepared, so that in the event Vikula is indeed escorted from the building, it doesn’t catch us by surprise. Also, we come up with a contingency plan. We’re not going to let Uncle Vik go down the road of a certain commode connoisseur. So, we need to do two things. 1) Get a rough idea of whether or not we think this horror scenario might actually happen and 2) Strategize. Figure out Plan B for Pandit. Whereas he previously could’ve fallen back on his looks (jolly elfin’ smile + bouncy belly = money), VP has slimmed down considerably since taking on the job, meaning the Tickle a Vickle booth set up in the middle of Times Square is out, and we’re back to the drawing board.
As you’re aware, the SEC charged Angelo Mozilo with insider trading yesterday. The Tan Man, you may or may not know, is “the son of a meat butcher in the Bronx.” And who is most fit to wax philosophic on someone with such a tasty background? There is only one: CNBC senior Mortadella correspondent Charlie “Deli meats are a passion of mine” Gasparino (and self-described “personal friend of Angelo,” Larry Kudlow).
Earlier: A Message (And A Challenge) From Charlie Gasparino
FDIC Pushes Management Purge At Citi (WSJ)
SheBair putting Vikram’s job on the line.
White-Collar Fugitives Tripped Up by Bad Planning, Weakness (Bloomberg)
Think about the next time you decide to try and fake your own death.
Jobs Ready to Return to Apple Helm (WSJ)
“He was one real sick guy,” added this person. “Fundamentally he was starving to death over a nine-month period. He couldn’t digest protein. [But] he took corrective action.”
AIG Prices Reinsurer Shares in $988 Million Offering (Bloomberg)
“American International Group Inc., the insurer selling most of its stock in reinsurer Transatlantic Holdings Inc. to repay a federal bailout, priced the shares at $38, valuing the offering at $988 million.” Only a zillion more dollars to go on that IOU.
UK government heads towards cliff edge (FT)
“One way or another Mr Brown’s fate should be sealed in the coming days … the panic is palpable.”
Fed dismissed TARP objections from JPMorgan, AMEX (FT)
“People close to the situation said the Fed had taken a tough line on JPMorgan and Amex because they were the only institutions that had passed the recent “stress tests” but had not yet raised equity.”
