Will it be three painful hours of missing the mark, full of misconceptions with shots aimed at the wrong target, or turn out not half bad? (I know we’ve been harping on this subject, but it’s only because we think it’d be nice if this thing could actually be good and the only way you can be good is through relentless rounds of “you suck” and similar verbal berations from pissants like yours truly).
As previously mentioned, two strikes have already been notched for a. this casting choice and b. being predictable, and making the villain a short-seller. And from what we hear, the script as it stands is cringe-inducing, unintentional joke.
Archive for June 2009
Two or so weeks ago, Dick and Kathy Fuld started “marketing” their 640 Park Avenue co-op for $32 million ($11 mill more than they paid for it less than three years ago). Then, days later, the couple decided to keep the 6,200 square foot pad for themselves, which we thought was a smart, PR-savvy move, considering the rumors (in our head) that they’d be turning the apartment, which includes 5 five fireplaces and a 25 foot long dining room, into a halfway house for down on their luck CEOs (humanity and whatnot can do wonders for one’s rehabilitation and attempt at a triumphant return to biznass life). Now, they’re apparently mulling an offer “in the $27 million range.” [via Cityfile]
Earlier: Correction: You Will Not Be Sleeping Where Dick Fuld Hath Slept
The SEC, fresh off an impressively long stretch of missing virtually everything they were supposed to catch, is ramping up its efforts to become a remotely credible regulator. After being publicly humiliated by the widespread ineptitude of missing the Madoff fraud as well as its own insider trading scandal, the new SEC Chairman, Mary Schapiro, is determined to create a new kind of SEC.
I wanted to be very clear almost from my first day — not just with words, which are pretty easy to string together, but with actions — that this is a new SEC that is moving in a decidedly different direction and at a decidedly different pace,
Given the rhetoric coming out of Washington regarding evil speculators, it should come as no surprise that hedge funds, derivatives, and short-selling are three of the primary targets in the SEC’s cross hairs. Schapiro clearly has a huge uphill battle ahead of her. She is head of an organization where people still take issue with categorizing the Madoff miss as a failure. Effective regulation can help markets avoid the meltdowns we saw last year, but the risk of the SEC becoming over zealous to restore its image looms large.
SEC Chief Strives To Rebuild Regulator [Washington Post]
Don’t call it a comeback! Especially not as it relates to T. Partners, for whom this is probably a bit bittersweet.
Tontine 25 Fund, LP:
May 2009: 17.50%
YTD: 72.30%
Above, an artist’s rendering of Valery and Olga Kogan’s would-be Greenwich manse, which the couple gained approval to build by the town’s Planning and Zoning Commission in March, after agreeing to scale it back to a mere 21,127 square feet (from 39,000) and a paltry 15 toilets (from 26), much to the ire of their neighbors’ WASPian sensibilities. Most of you should be up to speed but to recap, the place is slated to include:
* “a grand hall served by a bifurcated, lyre-shape, Titanic-style staircase and topped by a three-story-high glass dome” which, in inclement weather, would be covered by a mechanized retractable shield
* a Turkish bath
* a Finnish bath
* indoor and outdoor pools (the latter being equipped with underwater lights would be controlled by remotes set up in multiple locations, and change hue with the turn of an “infinite spectrum color wheel for party functions”)
* hydrotherapy spa (which most of you do not need to be told is a Greenwich way of saying “place where colon cleanses are performed”)
* a twelve-car garage
* “a carved-stone fountain the center of a “Renaissance-inspired” circular courtyard”
* “a separate stone patio fashioned in the shape and colors of a Les Paul guitar”
Despite people like T. H. Walworth III shaking his fists at the heavens and crying out, “It’s not a residence. It’s an industrial project. It’s a country club. It’s enormous,” we argued last week that this place had to get done. When a (maybe) corrupt Russian billionaire can’t erect the house that vodka built, all is truly lost. And when he can, it gives aspirational hope to children and down on their luck hedge fund managers everywhere that there is still a point left to this thing. Well guess what, pets? This place isn’t happening.
We saw more evidence this morning that confidence alone is not enough to induce consumers to spend. Last week’s surge in consumer confidence led many to believe that the US consumer was making a comeback. However, big misses in May same store sales by Costco and Target this morning cast some doubt on the consumer’s willingness to spend.
According to Thomson Reuters estimates, analysts are looking for monthly sales to fall 4.1 percent from last year. However, so far 76 percent of the retailers that have reported same-store sales results have missed estimates so the results may be worse than feared.
If huge gains in consumer confidence and equity values can’t get people to spend, this could be a brutal summer for retailers.
Retail Sales Are Falling Short of Estimates [CNBC]
The Post reports that Bank of America fractional owner (currently clocking in at 1.1 million shares) Jerry Finger may finally be granted the opportunity to tell the board everything it (and management) is doing wrong (actual words: “offer insight about how to fix the hobbled banking giant”). Presumably, slide number one will be a picture of the fellow at left, who Finger has been trying to send home in a body bag for months at this point. Bank of Amerillwide claimed in March that it had met with Mr. Finger “several times to hear his concerns and [attempt] to address them.” Assuming that wasn’t a lie, perhaps the term “meeting” was being loosely used to include “sent a first year out to the parking lot to stand there and nod his head every so often, cutting Finger off at around an hour.” This time, now that Big Jer has achieved a modicum of success by stripping Lewis of the chair role, maybe they’re rolling out the red carpet? More importantly, does this image from the Post‘s graphic department (whose work we’ve professed to be huge fans of on many occasions) make any sense whatsoever?
Banks Try to Stiff-Arm New Rule(WSJ)
Yes! More “progress” through obfuscation and accounting manipulation!
A group that includes the Chamber of Commerce, the Mortgage Bankers Association, and the American Council of Life Insurers and others sent a letter on June 1 to Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, regarding the off-balance-sheet accounting-rule change, saying it should be adopted “cautiously and seek to minimize any chilling effect on our frozen credit markets.”
The letter was signed by 16 industry associations, many of which were part of a group known as the “Fair Value Coalition,” which was formed earlier this year with the goal of changing mark-to-market accounting rules. Mark-to-market accounting rules set guidelines for banks on when they are required to reflect market prices in the values they assign to hard-to-value securities and other assets.
Now the group of financial organizations is trying to put the brakes on the off-balance-sheet accounting measure, which would force banks to bring hundreds of billions in assets back onto their balance sheets at the beginning of 2010, effectively forcing them to set aside more capital. Some accounting experts say they aren’t surprised by the banking industry’s latest effort. “Here we go again. They will get out their checkbooks and go to the Hill,” says Lynn Turner, the Securities and Exchange Commission’s former chief accountant.
What’s that saying, those who fail to learn from history are what?
With Japanese Cash, Morgan Stanley May Exit TARP (Dealbook)
Mazel tov, Mack.
House Lifts Lid on its Expenses (WSJ)
Finally a (small) step in the right direction, namely, increased transparency from Congress, purveyors of rank hypocrisy.
The House will begin posting representatives’ expense reports online, giving the public easy access to records of the millions of dollars lawmakers spend on staff and items such as catering, cars, computers and TVs.
Separately, Sen. Tom Coburn (R., Okla.) said Wednesday he would introduce a bill requiring the expense records be posted online in the Senate, as well. Such disclosures are “something that we will take a look at,” said Jim Manley, spokesman for Senate Majority Leader Sen. Harry Reid (D., Nev.).
Somehow I don’t expect this action to reveal any ruh-rhos or red flags since any “scandalous” spending is no doubt arranged outside of Congresspeople’s office budgets (Pelosi’s reported frequent private jet usage, for example).
Guidance on Short-Selling Needed: GAO (NYT)
Actions taken by the Securities and Exchange Commission at the height of the market turmoil last year appear to have reduced abusive short-selling, but the agency should provide clearer guidance to the brokerage industry for applying the rules, congressional auditors concluded in a report issued Wednesday.
SEC Probes Lehman Research (WSJ)
The Securities and Exchange Commission is investigating whether information about imminent stock upgrades and downgrades was improperly used by employees at Lehman Brothers Holdings and others, according to a letter released by Sen. Charles Grassley.
Continue reading »
$$$ Greenspan: Big bailouts biggest threat to U.S. economic future [The Hill]
$$$ Paulson & Co. ditches losing Barclays short [MarketWatch]
$$$ “In year of unprecedened market downturn, [Harvard] seniors flee finance and consulting for education and health.” [Crimson]
$$$ Ladenburg Thalmann finally replaces Bové [The Deal]
$$$ Mr. Fields is chief executive of Juridica Capital Management. which runs a fund that invests in one side of a lawsuit in exchange for a share of any winnings.
“It’s always a good time to invest in litigation,” Mr. Fields said, though he added that the weak economy helped. [NYT]
$$$ Citigroup Seeks Authorization for 60 Billion Shares [Bloomberg]
As expected, the FDIC confirmed today that it is delaying the initial test of one of its toxic asset programs.The successful bank capital raises and renewed investor confidence in the banking system have provided FDIC Chairman Sheila Bair with enough evidence that the Legacy Loan Program can be placed in a holding pattern for now.
As a consequence, banks and their supervisors will take additional time to assess the magnitude and timing of troubled assets sales as part of our larger efforts to strengthen the banking sector
Banks were able to take advantage of the nearly vertical movement in the equity markets and opportunistically raise capital by equity and debt offerings, thereby avoiding having to sell toxic assets at distressed prices.
U.S. FDIC delays pilot sale of toxic bank loans [Reuters]
And apparently CNBC aired it this morning on Squawk Box. Which is cool, if you want to give rabid Becky-stalkers the impression their advances are welcome in Englewood Cliffs, and that they should not be bashful about walking right up to the building and seeking out B. Quick. It’s cool if that’s the message you wanted to send.
