As mentioned a couple weeks back, UBS’s (ex) global head of healthcare Ben Lorello recently jumped ship to Jefferies, and took a gaggle of mid-senior employees with him, which made the Swiss bank angry enough to file suit against Lorello and his new employer. Today we got some color on some of Lorello and Co’s less successful attempts at poaching the team. While we can’t say whether or not UBS has a case that will hold up in court, we can say with certainty that when they’re ready to laugh about all this, they’ve got themselves a piss-your-pants-in-laughter-at-how-seriously-these-people-take-themselves story to look back on.
On the 16th, Ben Lorello walked into the office of Rick Leaman, global head of IBD at UBS, handed him an envelope and walked out, for the last time. Junior bankers were pretty much in the dark as to what was going on, but soon found out that a bunch of mid-level guys (associates and directors) were making the move with Benji. Then, last Wednesday, the little ones all received voicemails at their desks by their former staffer asking if they wanted to “talk.” Those who returned the calls were told– and I can barely type this seeing because my hands are shaking so hard– “you have an offer to leave UBS and join Jefferies. It expires at the end of the day.” Supposedly the deal, for first year analysts, was a guaranteed bonus of $60k this summer, with “guidance” for the following of $100k.
Archive for June 2009
Anyone need some office space? You are in luck. The Federal Reserve Bank of Richmond is looking to lease out 34,000 square feet (at the price of $20/square foot) within its uptown office at at 530 East Trade Street a-sap. Besides unexpected pop-ins from Ben Bernanke, your money will get you:
Two-thirds of the space, about 26,000 square feet, is on the first floor, a cavernous area built for heavy processing with raised flooring. The available area includes unused teller banks in the lobby, relics from years ago when customers could visit the Fed to buy notes, bonds and U.S. Treasury bills, and an empty steel vault. The remaining 8,000 square feet is on the second floor and includes a corner office with a view of the Bobcats arena. Amenities include a cafeteria and new conference center that tenants could rent. The Fed can do some retrofitting, depending on a tenant’s need.
Since it’s the government, you will be subject to security precautions that include walking through metal detectors, putting your bags through an X-ray, and having your guests’ cars searched by guards using “mirrored poles and occasionally sniffed by a trained security dog.” They’re claiming they won’t rent the space to companies that would propose conflicts of interest, such as banks, or groups “that attract much media attention,” but let’s be serious– they’re gonna take whatever they can get. Make an offer today.
While nobody at IBM would dispute that its former head of M&A, David Johnson, was putting in some serious hours, they are taking issue with the fact that he spent a good deal of that time preparing to launch a technology focused VC firm, JSJ Capital Management. Johnson’s indiscretions ran a bit deeper than egregious use of the copy machine and ordering dinner. He once used an IBM funded trip to the Middle East to double as a JSJ roadshow and then administered another swift kick in the teeth last May.
We’re not saying definitively that Maxine Waters is going to assault Lloyd Blankfein. What we are saying is that there’s mounting evidence she’s moving in that direction. Up to this point, M Dubs has kept her feelings for the Masters of the Universe confined to five minute sound bites of batshit manifest during Congressional hearings, and notes left on the hood of LB’s car. News out of the Hill last night, however, that she got up in the grill of and proceeded to lay her mitts on House Appropriations Committee Chairman David Obey, after he shot down a $1 million earmark request, makes us think she’s finished keeping her hands to herself professionally.
After pouting from not having its every wish met during Chrysler’s fall from grace, the DC braintrust may have learned a thing or two in the process. A group of hedge funds that provided over $3 billion in DIP financing to Delphi in 2007 argue they were conveniently left out of the bidding process for the auto supplier’s assets and lost out on their opportunity to milk General Motors a little more. They (credibly) contend Delphi struck a government backed deal with a PE firm and GM at their expense. But Delphi and the government are sticking to their story that they were just hitting the best bid out there but would be psyched if a better one materializes- just not from their own creditors.
We feel we bent over backwards to accommodate any possible interest in Delphi,” said an Obama administration official. “We have no problem with the process and if a better bid comes out, that’s awesome.”
If we are Tim Geithner, who, like Sheila Bair, cannot sell his house. The Journal reports that SheBair has taken her Amherst, MA home off the market, after it failed to sell for $745,000, even after she and husband Scott cut their asking price by $100,000. While Shebes bought the pad in 2002 for only $355,000, it was extensively renovated and now includes a (mini) lap pool in the basement. The opportunity to fantasize about that hot piece of FDIC ass in a bathing suit should be enough to get at least one of you to make her an offer. In happier news, we see that Shaq has finally been able to unload his Miami manse, which is nice.
Jacko and Prince Alwaleed, who is deeply broken up over this, in happier times. [via]
Pang Took $83 Million From Firm, Filing Says (WSJ)
The court-appointed temporary receiver over Mr. Pang‘s former company, Private Equity Management Group Inc., also revised his estimate of potential losses by investors, saying they could range from $287 million to $654 million. The latter figure would represent a loss of nearly 80% of the $823 million still owed to investors. And here’s a new pic of DP, leaving federal court:
Administrative Actions against Citibank Japan Ltd. (FSA)
All sales operations in retail banking suspended for one month starting July 15, due to lax oversight of money laundering controls. The Big C is sorry and swears it won’t happen again.
UBS Expects Second Quarter Loss (WSJ)
Don’t shed tears for the Swiss just yet, though, because they’re entirely okay with this, as the figure, while not good, is better than previous quarters, and represents “a sequential improvement.”
Death spurs Michael Jackson album sales (Reuters)
Jacko occupied the top 15 slots on Amazon’s best-selling albums within hours. “Thriller” at number one, “Off the Wall” at two, “Bad” at three.
Judge Says Stanford May Be Freed On Bond (AP)
And why not? He totally does not seem like the type that would make a run for it. Oh wait, that’s exactly what he seems like. (Re: GPS monitoring system, Big Al would find away around it.)
Volcker Gets Less Than He Wants in Curbing Excesses (Bloomberg)
“After the inauguration and Geithner’s confirmation, Volcker was elbowed aside, White House insiders say. His economic recovery board took weeks to get off the ground — a delay people close to Volcker say he blames on Larry Summers…The biggest obstacle to Volcker’s reform agenda is Summers, Volcker’s friends say.”
Jack (And Suzy) Welch Says Bernanke Deserves A Second Term (Bloomberg)
J Dubs also added that the Fed Chair deserves some sort of teaching gig at Jack Welch’s Online School Of Business, either as a full-time or adjunct professor.
Not So Green Shoots, By Maria Bartiromo (CNBC)
And it continues: From my vantage point, I have trouble buying into the whole idea of green shoots. I know the market itself has bounced, but people I talk with everywhere I go are still feeling squeezed financially.
$$$ Inflation: The Real Threat To Sustained Recovery, By Alan Greenspan [FT]
$$$ Death of MJ: Good news for Colony Capital? [DB]
$$$ Sanford’s Latin Lovah [LALATE]
$$$ Gazprom seals $2.5bn Nigeria deal, comes up with unfortunate name for new firm. [BBC]
$$$ Wall Street Sets Campaign On ‘Populist Overreaction’ [Bloomberg]
$$$ Cliff Asness’s apartment is for sale. Someone should buy it and turn it into the DB Funhouse. [Cityfile]
Provided you– yes, you Big Guy– act fast.
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The newest manifestation of Congress’ insatiable appetite to play the Wall St. blame game will be unleashed soon. The 10-member Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission will have about 18 months to determine once and for all how last year’s meltdown happened. For those hoping to get in on the fun, it appears as though there are 7 seats left.
A short list of names has emerged for the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission that includes former Republican presidential candidate Fred Thompson; former Democratic head of the Commodities Futures Trading Commission Brooksley Born; and Alex Pollock, a fellow at the conservative think tank American Enterprise Institute, according to a source familiar with the matter.
Nominees emerge for US panel on Wall Street meltdown [Reuters]
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