Why is UBS getting so bent out of shape over losing its (ex) global head of healthcare and half the group to Jefferies? Maybe because it’s not the first time Jefferies has moved in on the Swiss’s bitches! Less than two months ago Jefferies performed what our favorite tax evaders would characterize as a (panty) raid on its quants, stealing Jatin Suryawanshi, who was head of algorithmic trading, and five members of the team. Now UBS is suing Suryawanshi, Partha Sakar, and Sanjay Girdhar on the claims that when they moved to Jefferies they took “prop trading secrets” with them. What they don’t include in the suit is the matter of not paying bonuses for 2008, which made the revenue generating prop team not very happy and was probably the reason they sought employment elsewhere.
Archive for June 2009
As previously mentioned, I had dinner last night with, among others, Charlie Gasparino. We dined at Campagnola, which was CG’s pick, natch, as he has been going there for years, and the owners have a lax policy on unlicensed firearms and underage drinking. Before CG got there (he was taping Kudlow, who disappointingly did not join us), we did a little investigative reporting with the other regulars. Some blonde British lady who goes way back with CG very excitedly told us about the time a few years ago when Chaz had an altercation at Campagnola with Lance Armstrong. Apparently One Ball had appeared on CNBC earlier that day to discuss his sponsorship of a mutual fund and Charlie brought up the matter of doping rumors, which did not please Lance, and there was a bit of an on air tiff.
Coincidentally they both ended up at the restaurant that night, and friend insisted on introducing Chaz to OB, who pointed his finger in Gaspo’s face and said, “You’re an asshole.” At first Charlie was (suspiciously) apologetic and told Lance how great he was “on the tube” and what an ace guest he was at handling CG’s tough line of questioning. But Lance was having none of it, and continued to insist that no, Charlie was an asshole, that everyone on CNBC is an idiot and that he’d never do the show again. Charlie then told OB that he was sure CNBC could get someone else to come on his place and to have “a shitty fucking dinner.”
We were also regaled, by Sal the maitre d’, with a story about Chaz coming in for a drink a couple weeks after BSC went down for the dirt nap, and having a table full of Bear guys get up in his grill and make claims he was a two-bit reporter. Things got “openly hostile.” Gasps told them “I feel bad if you lost your job but I was just doing my job.” They continued tell CG how much he sucked, to which he finally responded, “Any time, anywhere, I don’t care how many of you there are.” Boom. Done.
I couldn’t recall this morning what Gaspo had ordered but was reminded by another member of our party that he got an app of baked clams and shrimp, then half a chicken (which he put ketchup on), steamed spinach, and at least 7 [Update: Charlie tells me it was more like 10] martinis. I do recall that before our entrees came Chaz made a point to alert me that he hadn’t touched any of the sopressat’ on the table, though I suspect he had them wrap it up (plus whatever was left in the kitchen) for him to take home and tear into later. The famous “Eddie,” who runs a family-owned chain of gay strip clubs, wasn’t able to attend but toward the end of dinner a guy purporting to be Charlie’s brother joined us (they looked nothing alike so I requested to see his driver’s license, which did in fact bear the Gaspo name, though I remain not entirely convinced). CG tipped $100 on a pretax bill of $350, and at one point got very serious and insisted I report back that he has “a fetish for flossing and gargling,” then whipped out a case of floss and a travel sized bottle of Scope to prove it. We then went to Elaine’s where one guy at the table passed out and fell off his chair, which Charlie maintains he had nothing to do with. Here are the answers to your questions I was allowed to print (a decent number of them I was barred from sharing, unless I had an interest in ending up in a body bag).
Do you use moisturizer on your hands or face?
Never.
What do you think of David Faber’s book?
I haven’t read it yet. I’m too busy penning the definitive book on this crisis.
Is Jeff Macke writing the forward to your book?
No, there’s no forward. I get right into it.
When are you going to dye your hair, which is going gray? Up top and below deck.
The hairs on my head, never. As for downtown, tell whoever asked that, oo gatz, like my mother used to say.
What kind of cologne do you wear?
Addidas sport set at the gym, Old Spice on the job, Drakkar Noir for special occasions.
Steven Rubinstein probably figured in a world where Allen Stanford is pleading his innocence and Bernie is gunning for 12 years behind bars for the largest Ponzi scheme in history, his sentence for one count of filing a false tax return will make a slap on the wrist look like vicious corporal punishment.The government claims the UBS private banking client (and Florida yacht industry accountant) utilized his offshore accounts for 8 years to pull off $7 million on-shore transfers tax free as well as wheeling and dealing in Krugerrand gold coins. For these indiscretions and his seven years worth of failing to file FBAR disclosures to the IRS, Rubinstein picked today, the day of Sir Allen’s proclaimed innocence, to reverse his original not guilty plea and take his chances with sentencing for his single count of tax fraud.
Florida Man Pleads Guilty in UBS Tax Case [NYT]
Which is presumably why the bank (allegedly) offered female ex-Merrill Lynch brokers lower retention bonuses than their male counterparts, which the girls have taken issue with, and filed suit over today. On the bright side, and I think this is the point Ken Lewis should stress, it means not every last cent of taxpayer money was being blown on getting employees to stick it out.
Now’s your chance! Today we offer you two avenues for getting in front of the camera. A) Shoot an email to Dennis Kneale, who is looking for volunteers to jello-wrestle him on the floor of the NYSE for a very special episode of Power Lunch (DK will provide you with a onesie, he’ll be dressed as a chicken) and B) this:
MTV’s award-winning documentary series True Life is producing an episode entitled “I’m a Gambler.” This project will feature three young people who love to gamble – whether their passion is sports betting, casino tables or wagering on the stock market. The intent of the show is to get an inside look into the exciting and unique world of an avid gambler.
We’re currently seeking a young person who day trades with their own money in order to get by. This person needs to have a lot invested in to their wagers, be it because they recently lost their job or that they are severely in debt. Our goal is to find someone with a dynamic personality who can give us an inside look at the highs and lows of gambling on the stock market every day.
Please note, the person needs to be under 26 years of age. Applicants who also gamble on sports or table games are especially encouraged to apply.
This episode of True Life will be produced for MTV through Gigantic! Productions. At Gigantic!, we’ve received multiple accolades for our programming including 2 Prism Awards, 2 GLADD Awards and our episode of ‘True Life: I’m Deaf’ was recently nominated for an Emmy Award. We’ve also produced several other episodes of True Life including ‘True Life: I’m Going to Fashion Week’, ‘I’m Moving to New York’ and ‘I’m Going to Fat Camp’.
If you’re interested in this project, please send a biography along with a current picture of yourself to casting@gigantic.tv.
If you’ve been looking to get in early on a new growth industry or simply take a vacation that you truly will never forget, pack your bags and head to the Gulf of Aden. For £3,500/ day you can tag along on a Russian yacht that actively seeks out Somali pirates. Another £12 will get you an AK-47 and 100 rounds of ammo to deliver the message that the joke is on them in a more personal manner.
Luxury yachts offer pirate hunting cruises [Anova]
Workers in Citi’s Japanese retail business may be getting an unexpected holiday courtesy of local regulators. But this is nothing new- they know the drill.
Japan to order Citi suspend some business [Reuters]
I’ll be bringing you the entirety of Charlie Gasparino’s answers to your questions this shortly. To tide you over ’til then, there’s brief footage of the meal after the jump, and, in response to the query, “Is his right wrist bigger/more muscular than his left, as a result of repetitive jacking,” CG said this: “They’re the same size, because it takes two hands. You need a firm grip. Write that down.”
There used to be a time when SPVs were nice packaging plants for credit card securitizations and the issuer didn’t think have to think twice about the underlying risk. Now the loss rates are getting high enough to scare a few issuers into buying the junior pieces of their own deals to avoid losing their regular customers to some other cheap drug. The image of banks scrambling around to prevent credit card deals from hitting early redemption coverage triggers must have been on Herb Allison’s mind when he was talking about declining credit market risk.
Banks come to the aid of card securitisation vehicles [FT]
Vis-a-vis fraud charges (suggestions so the contrary will result in a punch to the mouth). As for allegations that he’s a maverick rich Texan who puts moose heads on the wall and drops weights at the gym in order to get people’s attention? Guilty as charged.
Earlier: You’re F’ing Right I’m Gonna Fight
[via Gawker]
Oooo, remember that story from the Post a few months back claiming Dylan Ratigan had gone off on his producer in the middle of Fast Money, and was maybe going to get fired for doing so? The audio is now available.
