• 03 Jun 2009 at 11:32 AM

Red Bull’s Secret Ingredient Not So Secret Any More

red_bull_logo.gifThe undisputed king of the energy drink market appears to have tipped its hand and revealed exactly what it is about Red Bull that gives you wings. Officials in Hong Kong found traces of coke in several cans of the heart exploding beverage yesterday. A spokesman for Red Bull then issued a statement which explained, in no uncertain terms, that there is no way any nose candy made its way into the drink and offered a clear explanation for the confusion.

“It would have been absolutely impossible for Asian (or any other) authorities to have found traces of cocaine in Red Bull Energy Drink,” the company said in a statement. “We believe that Asian authorities mistakenly applied concerns about Red Bull Simply Cola to Red Bull Energy Drink, a completely different product with an entirely different formula.”

This comes one week after traces of coke were discovered in the winged beverage in Austria. Fears of consumers overdosing were put to rest when spokeswoman Sigrid Rosenberger said the levels were right around the detection limit. The company then went on to say that its Red Bull Cola is, “harmless and marketable in both the US and Europe.” No argument here.

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Comments (66)

  1. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:28 AM

    Lame job it is to be a paid commenter.

  2. Posted by Anal_yst | June 3, 2009 at 11:31 AM

    Germany bro, it was Germany…

  3. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:32 AM

    I can’t believe I snorted the whole 8-ball, but I need to be up man, looking for the news, trying to be funny, Bess is pissed that I haven’t started producing already, this isn’t like a credit derivative desk where its like one trade a day, this shit if fucking crazy, it’s stories all the time, I’m thinking meth…
    -Greg’s Id

  4. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:33 AM

    I am snorting a Red Bull out of my secretary’s ass right now.

  5. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:37 AM

    this explains the twitching

  6. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:38 AM

    I am pounding my secretary in the ass and drinking a red bull at the same time.

  7. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    Hi Greg!
    I still hate you, and everyone named Greg.
    Very truly yours,
    Porker Stansberry

  8. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    what in the name of god does this have to do with finance?
    this shit was on drudgereport! greg michaels is simply pasting garbage stories off of drudgereport!
    this must end.

  9. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:40 AM

    Too high; didn’t read.

  10. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:46 AM

    Everyone on the Street drinks Red Bull and then pounds their secretary in the ass. That is why this has been posted.
    Nick Leeson

  11. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:47 AM

    @8: what in the name of god does this have to do with finance?
    Almost every young 20-something investment banking associate / powerpoint monkey I know drinks Red Bull constantly.

  12. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    “Nose Candy” So 80′s…

  13. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:48 AM

    Greg, you should be sentenced to death by SnuSnu.

  14. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:49 AM

    Greggia, if you life’s desire was to write for Fashionista, this post would do you well.

  15. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:50 AM

    This was first up on Drudge yesterday. Way to be on top of things, g^m

  16. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:52 AM

    @11 yes, greg, and every young 20-something eats sandwiches too, should you start posting stories about tainted meat? howabout lunch coupons, everyone that reads dealbreaker eats lunch!
    idiot.

  17. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:53 AM

    “Nose Candy” So 80′s…

  18. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:55 AM

    @16 – hey, I wouldn’t mind a regular dealbreaker feature on lunch for people who work in the financial industry, but midtownlunch.com has already got that beat covered.

  19. Posted by Clown Capital | June 3, 2009 at 11:57 AM

    Greg,
    Your uncle George called. He said you’re embarrasing him.
    Oh yeah, he also said come out the closet already.
    Your Friend (but not in that way),
    Clown Capital

  20. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 11:59 AM

    @18 i know! i love that site!

  21. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:00 PM

    I kind of like Greg. I say lets feed him, buy him some new clothes and make a project out of him.

  22. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:02 PM

    It was pulled in Germany last week for the same reason- http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,521870,00.html?test=latestnews
    Way to be on top of your game, Greggie.

  23. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:07 PM

    Who is Louis Zaccareli?

  24. Posted by HeadlessHorseman | June 3, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    Stop it.

  25. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:08 PM

    Wow – I have not seen this much
    “Greg-hating” in one place since the Johnny Bravo episode of the Brady Bunch!

  26. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    Leave him alone.

  27. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    Greggers needs to take a permanent siesta or be on the receiving end of a burmese-mountain spin kick.

  28. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:12 PM

    Don’t let them bother you Greg, you’re doing fine. They’re just bored and cranky. Probably underemployed and possibly even unemployed and taking it all out on you.

  29. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:15 PM

    I once saw Greg beat somebody up with a Starfish!

  30. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    I’ve always hated Red Bull… until just now.

  31. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    Coked up Red Bull is for closers!
    -Nominate me

  32. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:29 PM

    What will happen to Redbull’s terrible F1 team?

  33. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:39 PM

    @28 don’t forget they’re all hopped up on the coke laced redbull

  34. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:45 PM

    http://www.energyfiend.com/the-caffeine-database
    A Starbucks coffee is worse, even with the booger sugar

  35. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:52 PM

    All of you leave him alone!! Leave him alone this instant!! Greg – you are the Best – do not forget that!!! The Best!!!!
    Love,
    Mom

  36. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 12:54 PM

    @35 – well played. HT to you.

  37. Posted by hedge | June 3, 2009 at 12:55 PM

    Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up.

  38. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:11 PM

    Greg is currently being pounded in the ass by a secretary who purchased a can of red bull for her boss

  39. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:13 PM

    Tyrone Biggums here for the 1:15 crack giveaway!!!

  40. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    @11: What does “young 20-something investment banking associate” have to do with finance?

  41. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:14 PM

    If I wrote for DB, I simply wouldn’t ever read comments. Problem solved.

  42. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:24 PM

    @40, FTW.

  43. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:25 PM

    Greggers put all of his best clients in Teldar Paper

  44. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:27 PM

    @43, FTL.

  45. Posted by blndebnker | June 3, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    @42 I would disagree. Going to have to go with @35 FTW.

  46. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:41 PM

    Louis Zaccareli FTW

  47. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:50 PM

    @32 Red Bulls “terrible” F1 team is currently second in the constructor’s championship and has signed arguably the best new talent in the sport: Sebastian Vettel.
    Try again but thanks for playing.

  48. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:50 PM

    Greg,
    i wish i could punch you in the mouth… but it would be considered a hate crime.

  49. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 1:52 PM

    32 c’mon Vettel won one for them, and there 2nd in the constructors and drivers championships. You want a shiity F1 team? Give some Red bull to BMW; they could use it by the boatload.

  50. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 2:00 PM

    @48
    Because Greg is black, right?

  51. Posted by Becky Boot Fan | June 3, 2009 at 2:10 PM

    RedBalls…cocaine in a can, baby!

  52. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 2:17 PM

    @47: If you’re not first, you’re last. Tnx.

  53. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 2:29 PM

    At least the next time bankers go testify at a house or senate commitee they can chaulk up the financial crisis to ‘banking under the influence’ or BUI. Or maybe this was a giant Red Bull conspiracy to bring down western capitalism, which would be a great movie plot

  54. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 2:47 PM

    @53: makings for Wall Street III

  55. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 3:22 PM

    I get it 52, you’re a Nascar fan. Rubbin’ is racin’.

  56. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 3:35 PM

    47, 49
    True, Redbull/ Renault is doing well, this year. As happens every few years in F1, the majors will take the backseat and minor teams will take the lead (Redbull/ Renault is a minor team). Where will Redbull/ Renault be next year? Where were they in years past? Consistency counts and they just don’t have it.

  57. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 3:48 PM

    @4 FTW, obvi, no disrespect to 35, 40, 42 & 45.

  58. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 3:55 PM

    @56 RBR’s still a somewhat new team, but they seem committed financially. It takes time to develop a chassis (this isn’t NASCAR).
    Further, with budget caps inevitable, retaining key people will be more about atmosphere and team culture rather than cash.
    -tifoso (47)

  59. Posted by guest | June 3, 2009 at 4:05 PM

    @56 RBR’s still a somewhat new team, but they seem committed financially. It takes time to develop a chassis (this isn’t NASCAR).
    Further, with budget caps inevitable, retaining key people will be more about atmosphere and team culture rather than cash.
    -tifoso (47)

  60. Posted by guest | June 4, 2009 at 12:26 AM

    cut the bull! “Put the coca back in Coca-Cola” Drug Policy Alliance (DPA) Ethan Nadelmann says. Coca leaf is ancient medicine. We demand accurate food and drug labeling, an end to prohibition. Here’s the “strong and natural” RB ad featuring coca leaf: http://www.metadasein.com/blog

  61. Posted by Execute1984 | April 4, 2011 at 6:32 PM

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  62. Posted by Execute1984 | April 4, 2011 at 6:32 PM

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  63. Posted by Execute1984 | April 4, 2011 at 6:37 PM

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  64. Posted by Execute1984 | April 4, 2011 at 6:39 PM

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  65. Posted by Execute1984 | April 4, 2011 at 6:39 PM

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  66. Posted by Execute1984 | April 4, 2011 at 6:41 PM

    Why havent I seen this site three years ago. This stuff is better than Facebook. LMFAO!!!!!